Gregory House quotes from House

House

SUNDS, Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome. AKA, BS name for 'no one's figured out why they died.' Over 100 in the early '80s. Only male. Only Hmong. Healthy, right up until the moment they died in their sleep.

House

We can also act like walls don't mean anything. But then we'd hurt our noses.

House

We don't have to have sex. Sometimes it's nice just to cuddle and talk. Me first. You don't want a second opinion. You're already on your fifth. You got Evans at Mercy, Shaw at County, Foster at Johns Hopkins. And every one of them has given you the same advice. You're nuts. You don't just want chemo. You want a dose so high, there's a one-in-three chance it'll kill you outright. Question is, why didn't you tell me? Because you knew I'd stop you. Which means you've already found someone insane enough or desperate enough to give you what amounts to a death dose of chemicals. But who would be that stupid? I'm thinking that the who, is you. Where exactly were you planning on killing yourself? 'Cause I don't think Foreman is gonna let you do it here.

House

People don't change. You are a person. Ergo...

House

[On the phone to Wilson's mother] Hi, this is Greg House. Again. Third message. Hopefully indicating how much I want you to call me back. I'd say that your son is dying to increase the urgency, but you probably already know that.

House

Life is pain! I wake up every morning, I'm in pain! I go to work, I'm in pain! You know how many times I just want to give up? How many times I thought of ending it?

House

You're the only one I listen to. The last couple of days I didn't, and I almost killed my patient. I think it's time for you to accept that you're just smarter than I am.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy

Your reputation won't last if you don't do your job; the clinic is part of your job. I want you to do your job.

Dr. Gregory House

Ah, yes, but as the philosopher Jagger once said, "You can't always get what you want."

Dr. Cuddy

[to House] Oh, I looked into that philosopher you quoted? Jagger? And you're right. You can't always get what you want. But as it turns out, if you try sometimes, you get what you need.

Dr. House

I'm angry! You're risking a patient's life.

Dr. Cuddy

I assume those are two separate points.

Dr. House

You see that? They all assume I'm a patient because of this cane.

Dr. Wilson

Then why don't you put on a white coat like the rest of us?

Dr. House

I don't want them to think I'm a doctor.

Dr. House

Everybody lies.

Dr. Cameron

Dr. House doesn't like dealing with patients.

Dr. Foreman

Isn't treating patients why we became doctors?

Dr. House

No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.

I just want to die with a little dignity.

Dr. House

There's no such thing! Our bodies break down, sometimes when we're 90, sometimes before we're even born, but it always happens and there's never any dignity in it. I don't care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass. It's always ugly - always! We can live with dignity - we can't die with it.

Dr. Chase

It doesn't necessarily have to be that bad. If we exclude the night terrors it could be something systemic: his liver, kidneys, something outside the brain.

Dr. House

Yes, feel free to exclude any symptom if it makes your job easier.

Dr. House

Thirty percent of all dads out there don't realize they're raising someone else's kid.

Dr. Foreman

From what I've read false paternity is more like ten percent.

Dr. House

That's what our moms would like us to believe.

Dr. Cameron

Who cares? If he got it from his parents they'd both be dead by now, can we get on with the differential diagnosis?

Dr. House

Fifty bucks says I'm right.

Dr. Foreman

I'll take your money.

Dr. House

Hit a nerve? Don't worry, Foreman, I'm sure the guy who tucked you in at night was your daddy.

Dr. Foreman

Make it a hundred.

Dr. Cuddy

[leaving the hospital wearing a tennis outfit with a very short skirt] What are you doing back here? A patient?

Dr. House

No, a hooker. Went to my office instead of my home.