Gregory House quotes from House

House

Screwed up is your best case. Bouncing between a philandering workaholic dad and an embittered, sexually betrayed mom, it's gonna lead to screwed-up squared.

House

With great power comes great micromanaging.

House

Better to have schtupped and lost then never to have schtupped at all.

House

As much as I'd like to take your word for it, I have no interest in taking your word for it.

House

I'd turn around and shoot you, but apparently I'd miss.

House

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who can't teach, teach gym. Those who can't move their arms or legs teach us to laugh at others.

House

If she likes crippled guys, I'm free for the next six minutes.

House

Now, I am hereby searching for a number two. So I'm eating a lot of bran. Also, I want a team leader.

House

I'm guessing that your testosterone level is just below "Bieber."

House

What's the opposite of "thank you"? I'm pretty sure it ends in "you."

House

Sex? At work? I'm not a savage.

House

Sex is a given. They're hookers. To get the gig, a call girl - sorry, 'call woman' - needs a combination of skills that I find useful/entertaining for the remaining 57 minutes of the hour I paid for.

House

Mazal tov, Great relationships often start with snap decisions aimed at proving me wrong.

House

So let me get this straight, I'm being dumped by a hooker who's worried about my feelings?

House

Tell the parents to lay off the grades. The world needs fry cooks, too.