Jac Naylor quotes from Holby City

Joseph

You're taking Mr Frisby up to theatre?

Jac

No, we're going for a Chinese and then we're off clubbing.

Joseph

It's not going to work, Jac - I'm wise to your emotional manipulation.

Jac

Lucky I'm great in bed then, isn't it?

I spent last autumn working in Nepal.

Jac

Believe it or not, now is not the time for photos.

Ah, stay with me it will make sense. Climber’s Field Hospital.

Joseph

Ah, so you climb.

Ah, some. With Nick. Anyway, the point is there was a husband and wife team from Dehli running the place. Orthopods. Absolutely solid in theatre. Knew each other inside out.

Jac

And?

Watching you guys reminded me a little.

Jac

Do you remember Madame Butterfly?

Joseph

Is it my entire life that’s going to flash before my eyes, or just the edited highlights?

Jac

I hated it, you know that? Opera. I really bloody hated it.

Joseph

You should have just said.

Jac

Well, uncharacteristically I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. We hadn’t been together very long. Your hands were shaking… you don’t remember, do you?

Joseph

I remember.

Jac

Men never remember detail; just the carnal event. And even the memory of that is just twisted by their gigantic egos…

Joseph

I remember.

Jac

Go on, then.

Joseph

You had your hair up. Never seen it like that, before or since. You wore a dark green velvet dress, with a shawl, a silver shell necklace – and a beautiful broad smile. You couldn’t stop smiling; you looked like someone else. No, actually, you looked like you. Like you should look. It stays in my mind, you know. Just locked away.

Faye

Joseph, I was thinking. White roses with some gypsophilia.

Jac

[butts in with a sigh] Clearly there's something in the air.

Faye

No need to be such a cynic.

Jac

What the world needs now is love sweet love. [Jac reads from a leaflet about choosing wedding flowers] You know, I just don't know if white roses are appropriate, Faye. It says here that they symbolise innocence and purity - that might be a little misleading. Oh wait, no, I missed a bit. It says they also symbolise silence and secrecy, so...

Michael

I did not know you were into food, Miss Naylor.

Jac

You assumed I ran on batteries?

Jac

It's a foot! I think you'll find her hernia and bowel operation a little further up.

You've been to medical school, haven't you? You kept that quiet.

Jac

Why don't you carry on trying to work out one end of your patient from the other and I'll deal with the rest of the ward.

Oh, thanks. [He looks at the patient's foot.] I'd say that was swollen.

Jac

I'd say it needs a good wash.

Would you say that was swollen?

Maybe. Any blood in the sputum?

No.

Jac

It's customary here for the doctors to do the diagnosing. Although I'm sure you've already asked for your mother's opinion.

Jac

How long is Doctor Doughnut going to be with us?

Ric

Sacha? You got a problem with his work?

Jac

Yes - he doesn't seem to want to do any!

Jac

[sarcastically] Oh, nice tie. It's an improvement - it matches.

Oh, thank you. Shop said it was called a Naylor - comes with or without bile.

Thief! Thief! Help! Call the police!

Jac

[walking past] Probably the reaction most women would have if they found you in their bedroom.

Don’t think of it as an extension of you; think of it as a completely separate entity.

Jac

I want you to know, this is making me feel exceptionally uncomfortable.

Jac

Aligning my imminent behaviour with that of a serial killer.

Jac

[wielding a sock puppet and putting on a silly voice] Hello, I’m Jacqueline and I like kickboxing and motorbikes and what do you like?

[stares blankly for a beat and then dissolves into giggles] I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It was like watching a llama play the guitar!

Jac

Shut up. Have your sock back!

Jac

What are you doing sneaking about?

I could ask you the same question.

Jac

It's my office.

Why are you in the dark? Is that a muffin?

Jac

My precious!

What's going on with you? You've been acting weird for weeks.

Jac

At leas I'm not having a complete nervous breakdown.

Neither am I! [Jac gives him a look] Any more!

Joseph

Still spreading peace and love wherever you go I see.

Jac

Was I talking to you?

Jac

I bet you think it's really funny making me out to be an imbecile in front of Jayne Grayson.

Donna

Oh I think you did that all by yourself.

Jac

You set me up.

Donna

Yeah? Well what about the mysterious disappearing CT scan, not to mention the dead battery in Mike's bleeper.

Jac

Oh so it's Mike now.

Donna

Yeah, he's a mate of mine. Do you know what they are?

Jac

Very disappointed in you Donna(turns around and starts to walk off)

Joseph

Ah Miss Naylor, and how was your day?

Jac

Get stuffed.

Grovel

Jac

It's not in my nature

It's good for the soul

Jac

I don't have one