Jac Naylor quotes from Holby City

Jac

[comparing Joseph and Faye] You are a stately home in the country and she is a motel off the M4.

Jac

Still a bit OCDC, Joe?

Jac

I'd rather be up to my neck in sewage than be at that wedding.

Dan

So, Miss Naylor, have you checked out the patient's status?

Jac

Sorry?

Dan

As your next potential conquest.

Jac

Hilarious.

Dan

He's just about the age for you, isn't he? He's worth a bob or two, by all accounts.

Jac

Blah, blah, blah.

It's a bit of a come-down from the landed gentry.

Jac

Zip it, mini-me!

Dan

So what time's the funeral?

Jac

I wouldn't know.

Dan

Are you persona non grata?

Jac

I'm glad you find the death of an eminent surgeon the source of such endless amusement.

Dan

[to Paul Rose] She really is an ice-queen, isn't she Rosie?

Positively arctic.

Joseph

No-one's ever wanted you, have they Jac, and no-one ever will.

Jac

Your dad did.

Joseph

That wasn't exactly what he wanted from you.

Jac

And what about you? You wanted me.

Joseph

Right up until I looked into that cold dead heart.

Jac

And yet as he lay there dying, thinking about me and what he'd be missing, rather than his dried-up old stiff of a wife or his spineless son, where were you? Holding his hand? Offering a last few words of comfort? Or locking horns with yours truly, trying to put a dent in my cold dead heart. And that's what really gets you, isn't it? You've got to carry that round for the rest of your days. If it was your father, we both know he'd shrug it off and move on. But not you - not the nail-scrubbing little worry-wart. You'll never shake the feeling that even on his death-bed, you were one big let-down.

Jac

Don't mess with me!

Joseph

But it's such fun.

Joseph

Will that be all?

Jac

Now we're even.

Jac

The last few weeks have been rather trying for me.

Dan

They have been very interesting for the rest of us.

Connie

You are very much on probation. I will be watching you.

Jac

I'll do whatever it takes.

Connie

Yes, that's what I'm afraid of.

Will it annoy you if I pray for you?

Jac

Yep!

I might do it anyway, then.

Jac

I'll do some extra sinning to cancel it out.

Jac

How much? How much did you give her Joseph?

Joseph

Five thousand. I made it out to cash.

Jac

You gave him a cheque? You idiot.

Joseph

What?

Jac

We were close, once.

Joseph

Please don't remind me.

Jac

I've had plently of time to lie here and think about myself. About myself as a grade A bitch.

Joseph

That would be grade A scheming bitch.

Jac

How much trouble am I in?

No trouble at all.

Jac

Elliot.

Elliot

He's right.

Jac

Tell me the truth.

No, the truth is you're going to be fine.

Elliot

So shut up and let me concentrate.

Jac

Some bedside manner.

Joseph

No, I have no interest in hiring your establishment, with or without a bouncy castle.

Jac

Lighten up, Joseph. I'm sure it's not the first time you've enjoyed yourself on top of an inflatable.

Joseph

Are you crying?

Jac

[unconvincingly] No.

Joseph

Yes you are.

Jac

Why d'you always want to see me cry?

Joseph

To see how far robotics has progressed.