Ivan Vasilyevich (Froggo): I'm tsar. Behold me!
“The Terrible Tudors”
In this episode: Father Time (2), Charity Bazaar (1), Miss Information (1), Christopher Columbus (1), Chit Chatterson (1)
Unfortunately...[He is interrupted by Big Fat Baby falling off a barrel.]...this transition from superstition to science was a slow one.
BFBig Fat Baby
(off-screen) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
TTeacher
OK class, you have three apples and then you pick two more. What do ya have?
A bunch of stuff.
TTeacher
Uh, close enough. Ok, what do you have if I take away three?
Not so much stuff.
TTeacher
Uh, close enough.
In 1489, the plus and minus signs first came into use.
[holding up a paper graded with an F-] You know, I wish I could go back to the good old days.
Listen, Ive, now that you're tsar, you need to add a "the" to your name.
IVIvan Vasilyevich (Froggo)
Huh?
You know, like Attila the Hun, William the Conqueror? I've got a list of suggestions for you, compiled by our oppreresive despot search department!
IVIvan Vasilyevich
Go on.
OK, how about Ivan the Icky?
IVIvan Vasilyevich
WHAT?! No!
I agree, very bad. OK, here's a good one - Ivan the Disagreeable! I like that one. It says you're mean but you can still be reasoned with.
IVIvan Vasilyevich
Absolutely not!
Ivan the Finicky?
IVIvan Vasilyevich
No!
Ivan the Colicky?
IVIvan Vasilyevich
No!
Okay let's see, what else, what else? Ah! Ooh, this is you! You're gonna love this one, Ivey baby - Ivan the Naughty!
IVIvan Vasilyevich
GET OUT! GET OUT! Aaaaaaah!
Ivan, you're terrible!
IVIvan Vasilyevich
That's it!
Faboo! I knew we could work something out, Ivan, the Terrible! Can I just call you "Bl" for short?
IVIvan Vasilyevich
NO! [kicks Chit out] Guards, off with his head!
In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue, and to commemorate his historic journey, each year we celebrate Columbus Day with big parades and shamrocks and leprechauns and people wearin' green clothes!
That's St. Patrick's Day! All my day is famous for is the half-off men's underwear sale.
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