RRay
I am jealous. I'm jealous, I am ambitious, and I am afraid.
Welcome to the human race, Ray.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[after Leo gives money to a drug addict to get the precinct's breakfast] Leo, did I just see you assign that single-helixed mutoid to today's breakfast run?
Yeah, I figured a little responsibility might help.
Judas H. on horseback! Don't you know that once he is on the street, that money goes directly to rearranging the molecular chemistry of his cerebellum?
RRobin
You're doing it again, Mick. You're being a Jewish mother! I'm going to ignore it.
VVic
Listen, I picked up a chick at lunch today. Has the gall to tell me that I'm a lousy lover. I tell her, "Sweetheart, don't be ridiculous. You can't decide something like that in two minutes."
[to LaRue after he watches him come on to Kristie, the high-schooler] I'm just going to say three words to you, baby: "Statu Tory Rape."
SMrs. Schnitz
[after finding out that Leo invested their money in a dried up comic] I hope you enjoy this, Leo! I hope this is worth a life without sex!
Did you get the results?
Of what, the lie detector test?
No, your pap smear, Joe.
PPunk
What are you, my mother?
Do I look like a test tube?
[on their wedding night] You think I could get a kiss, Mrs. Furillo?
The name's Davenport.
[surprised, but calm] I can live with that.
Look, Country. I got some work to do here. I don't want to be worrying about my back.
Don't worry about your back, pal. Worry about your personality.
I know what you did to Officer Renko, Lieutenant, and I know what Officer Hill did to you.
Yeah, well, everything's okay. I squared with both of them.
That's not the point. If you'd been on my roster you'd have been out the next day. We don't have any "wild wests" show up here and we don't have any freelancers. You operate under this precinct you're gonna clear procedure and you're going to go by the book. Understood?
Gotcha.
That's the "B" answer. The "A" answer is "Yes, Captain!"
[about Faye meeting with Joyce] Maybe just the two of you. You're going to have to get together and come to terms sooner or later.
FFaye
Okay! She can call me! I'm in the book!…Under "Furillo…"
LaRue's got a couple of rough edges, so what?
I know guys in midtown who take his career bio for light reading in the john…you take away the rough edges and all you got is a Rolex and a cheap pair of loafers.
[presenting a cow's heart, which he tries to pass off as Buddy Gannett's, for the bet] Hey, Benedetto. Check it out. I don't know too much about anatomy, gentlemen, but that sure looks like a heart to me.
Lame, LaRue, no sale.
Hey, whoa whoa…what are you talking about? We don't dig bookies that welch up here! That's Buddy Gannett's ticker!
Yeah? And where's his udder?
What's he mean?
I think the man means, he believes that's a cow's heart, J.D.
Bull.
Could be.
[about Benedetto] The guy's a snail, Neal! He leaves a trail of slime wherever he goes!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hill Street Blues pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.