Howard Hunter quotes from Hill Street Blues

Hunter

I need you, Bates. You've got tight end size, with hands like a wide receiver, and a body weight to stand up against the stock of an M-16.

Hunter

Judas Priest, Frank! That's an eight-inch steel door! If those idiots don't think we mean business than our ace in the hole isn't worth a brown Q-tip!

Hunter

We're using a GL-700 deluxe mobile Frost King, Frank! It has dual frost pumps and direct power access. It sucks up thermal BTU's faster than an elephant in heat!

Hunter

[carrying the dismembered plastic alligator into Furillo's office, amidst howls of laughter] This is just one more example of the rampant unprofessionalism that is legend in this precinct! Frank, Judas my boys shouldn't have to put up with this! Not with a gaggle of prankster apes who have silly putty for brains and jelly where their manhood ought to be!

Hunter

Do I look like the sort of man who would leave the keys in the ignition of a six million dollar assault tank? Why, I've got 'em right here... [fumbles around in his pockets] right...

Hunter

These people have about as much appreciation for small arms weaponry as a Marseilles pimp!

Hunter

What have we here? [picks up a switchblade that the gang member dropped] Why, it's a Caribbean toothpick!

Hunter

[to Furillo] Just say the word, Frank. Twenty paddy wagons and a little tear gas and I'll accomplish more urban renewal in one hour than the feds have managed in a decade.

Hunter

Frank, my life is an unfired shot. No wife, no children, no one to give my love to.

Hunter

[after the dog urinates on him] Damn foreign breed! Give me a Shepherd any day!

Hunter

We are the dentists of society, Henry, fighting a losing battle of urban decay!

Hunter

[to Furillo] It seems to this old warhorse that all your starch is in your shirt!

Hunter

[in a megaphone to the minorities on Decker Avenue] Your activities on this block from henceforth will be monitored with the scrupulousness that Othello brought to bear on Desdemona. You will be wearing our attention like a pair of stolen jeans!

Hunter

[seeing the tank roll down the block] Totally unauthorized, of course…but the sight of that heavy metal still sends a shiver up the ol' bowels!

Hunter

One might argue that a DJ and a junkie are not worlds apart on the evolutionary ladder.