Joyce Davenport quotes from Hill Street Blues

Davenport

Suffice to say it is not John LaRue's innocence or guilt that is in question. The issue is how best to preserve what is already dangerously tainted bacon!

Davenport

[to sleazy Alan Wachtel] Some of us changed, Wachtel. Others of us mutated.

Joyce

There's nothing worse than a gloating Italian.

Furillo

What I don't understand is how [Macafee] was able to handle two wives emotionally.

Davenport

When you couldn't handle one?

Furillo

[sarcastically] How do you suppose you and Fay would get along under the same roof?

Davenport

[regarding her client, Heidel] Where is his paperwork?

Belker

Just about to get started.

Davenport

Was he Mirandized?

Counselor, would you give the guy a break?

Davenport

Was he or was he not Mirandized?

Yes, I was!

Davenport

Button up! Any evidence of theft on or about his person?

Belker

Yes and no.

Davenport

"Yes and no?"

Belker

What happened was, I think I saw him swallow some rings and things.

You see, what-

Davenport

Don't say a word.

Belker

Uh, the captain is looking into a court order for stomach X-rays. In the meantime, we're just sitting around, waiting to see what comes down the pike, as they say.

Belker

I got a serious problem.

Davenport

Legal?

Belker

No. I forgot it's my mother's birthday today. I haven't gotten her a present yet, and I'm supposed to be there at 6:30.

Davenport

I'm sure she'll understand if you get her a present tomorrow.

Belker

No, she won't understand, Miss Davenport. You don't know my mother.

Davenport

What did you have in mind?

Belker

Suicide.

Furillo

Whatever happened to serious journalism?

Davenport

It died years ago, Furillo, at the hands of a blow dryer.

Furillo

[referring to being ill from the bad Chinese] If I die, promise me you'll sue?

Davenport

Count on it.

Furillo

And if you get the job?

Davenport

I won't make any decision without talking to you, Pizza Man. Anyway, I probably won't get it.

Furillo

You probably will.

You. You're the first.

Davenport

First what?

The first of fifty women destined to perpetuate the species and save civilization as we know it.

Furillo

[on their wedding night] You think I could get a kiss, Mrs. Furillo?

Davenport

The name's Davenport.

Furillo

[surprised, but calm] I can live with that.

Davenport

I, uh, thought we might have lunch today.

Furillo

You're on.

Davenport

How's noon?

Furillo

I'll make a reservation at the Galley.

Davenport

I was thinking more about room service.

Furillo

You wanna make love?

Joyce

It could cost you your life.

Furillo

I'll risk it.