Hey Arnold! · Season 1
[Through the door] Helga, who are you talking to, honey?
No one! Just my...uh...imaginary friend.
Okay, I'll set another place at breakfast.
Great, Mom, great.
Great, Mom, great.
Are you mocking me?
[Quoting Helga's poem] Why must I worship you and never ever tell?
Trust me, you won't live long enough to tell.
And he knows my name, and he keeps reciting this bizarre poetry.
Why must I hold you only whilst I'd dream?
Well, he must belong to somebody, Arnold. They don't grow wild in these parts.
I know, but it looked kind of scared when I found it. Like, maybe it ran away from home? Could I keep it?
Sure, why not, Short Man, but if the Real Owner comes to the door asking for his pet back, you know what you have to do.
I know, Grandpa. Give the bird back to his owner.
What, are you crazy? No. You have to lie and tell them you don't know what they're talking about. Understand? Come on, let's get in The Packard and go to the Pet Store. We'll get bird seed and some of those bad-tasting biscuits.
Ow! Please don't pull my hair, Arnold.
Huh? I didn't pull your hair.
Arnold, I know that you like me like me, but please, don't do it again.
Why fight it? It's working.
Young man, I was beginning to wonder if you want to finish grade school.
[imitating Wartz] Young man, I was beginning to wonder if you want to finish grade school.
Pardon me?
Pardon me?
Stop repeating what I say!
Stop repeating what I say!
That's it.
That's it.
[to a tough Grandpa Phil] Report to detention after the final bell.
Report this, Wartz! [pulls the fire alarm and walks off]
[turns off the alarm] That's it, I'm calling his parents!
Why are you skipping school and acting tough and getting in trouble?
'Cause...
'Cause why?
Because...
Because why, Grandpa? [sternly] I want to know why and I want to know right now.
Grandpa Phil I'm gonna run for President. Pookie, you can be my campaign manager. What's our slogan?
Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
Pookie, you're fired. Arnold! You can be my campaign manager.
[Sighs] Grandpa...?
Grandpa Phil I want that diploma!
Then, let's go get it.
Right after my nap!
[as Harold and Rhonda are assigned to partner up taking care of an egg baby]
Come on, Rhonda, you know you like me!
[nervously] Where in the world would you get a ridiculous idea like that?
Remember that time at the Cheese Festival, when you jumped...
[claps a hand over Harold's mouth] I thought I told you never to mention that night ever again.
[after when Harold showed Rhonda their egg that has tape all over it]
What did you do, Harold?!
Nothing.
Harold, this is not our egg. This — I don't even know what this is. What did you do with Courtney?
Uh, I, Uh... Oh! I was hungry!
You...ate...our...baby?
[Harold belches]
Not everyone is dressing like you?
[dressed as Helga] Look, everyone, I'm the it girl.
[Helga screams]
Okay, Curly, I admit it. I'm your secret admirer. And the truth is, no matter how hard I try and fight it, [reading off her hand] I'm really, really wild about you. In fact, I've fallen crazy in love. So what do you say? How does that make you feel?
[dips Rhonda] Give Daddy some sugar. [Kisses Rhonda]
[Trying to convince Arnold to help people again] Look at me, I'm terrible at giving advice. I have no moral conscience whatsoever. If you won't do this for me, do it for your stupid friends out there. Trust me, they're completely lost without you.
I still can't understand how Lila could prefer your plain, homely, dull as dirt Cousin Arnie over you, Arnold. I mean, you're no Dapper Dan, but you sure are better looking than Arnie. And you're sure a lot more fun to talk to, but she does like him better! Look at her glow!
[mad] Stinky, shut up.
[confused] What'd I say?
Suzie, make me a sandwich.
In a minute, Oskar. I'm ironing your pants.
Why can't you do both at the same time?
Oh, Oskar.
What?
You know how much I have to do. Why can't you just help out a little bit? You know my cousin Nancy is going to be here any minute with her baby.
I just want a sandwich.
When Nancy gets here with the baby, I want to know that I can count on your help. It'll be a lot of work having a baby in the house, you know.
Come on, Suzie. Make me a sandwich.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hey Arnold! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
