So, you want to go to the arcade.
I can't, I still have detention.
Oh yeah, I forgot. Four weeks? Man, you really took the fall for those guys, didn't you!
Yup.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Don't think of it as being a snitch. Just think of it as being a good citizen. [gives a box of chocolate to Arnold as an offer] Chocolate cream? [Arnold rejects] You know, Albert...
Arnold.
You know, Arnold. It's not easy to do the right thing.
[looking at Arnold talking to Principal Wartz outside with his binoculars] He's gonna rat. He's gonna rat.
When I was a boy, I found myself in the situation very similar to the one you're in right now.
Really?
Mmm-hmm. You see, I witnessed several of my fellow classmates placing a frog in our teacher's desk. When she came back and discovered the frog, she singled me out and demanded that I'd tell her who was responsible.
What did you do?
I did the right thing. I sang like a canary. I tattled on every single one of them.
What happened?
The culprits were severely punished, and I was rewarded with a gold star. Oh, sure, my classmates were pretty mad at me at first. They called me a weasel, they refused to eat lunch with me, and they beat me up on a regular basis. In fact my reputation as a weasel followed me all the way into high school and college. I was stuffed into lockers, and had "KICK ME" signs taped to my back. I can't tell you the abuse I've suffered from practically every person I ever came in contact with. I didn't have a date till I was 23, but I didn't care about those things, because I knew that I had done the right thing. And in the end, I overcame all that abuse, and I grew up to become an Elementary School Principal. Wouldn't you like to become an Elementary School Principal?
Not really.
Ooh!
You told him, didn't you?
No, Harold.
You are lying. I saw you talking to Wartz. You told him it was me, and Stinky, and Sid, didn't you? Didn't you?!
No, Harold. I didn't.
Well, why not?!
Because it wouldn't be right.
But you got detention for four weeks, and you didn't even do anything. If I was you and you were me, I would have cracked the first day and ratted you out!
Well, maybe you would have, Harold, but I didn't, and I'm not going to. I gotta go. [Arnold leaves before Harold could answer.]
[to Harold; off-screen] Young Man?
Huh? Oh! Hello, Principal Wartz.
Hello, do you recognize anyone in this sketch?
No, sir. I don't. I really don't, not at all.
Okay. Well, keep up the good work, Son.
I sure will, Mr.— Principal Wartz.
He gave me four weeks detention.
But you didn't even do anything.
You better not tell, or I'll pound you.
Keep up the good work, Son.
Man, Arnold, I can't believe it! Your last day of detention, and you are completely innocent. If you finish off the day and don't snitch on those other guys, this is gonna go on your Permanent Record.
It's just something I've gotta do.
Young Man, I hold here in my hand your Permanent Record. Now you still have a chance to save yourself. Just tell me who the real mooners are. Tell me their names, and I won't have to enter this terrible black mark on your Record.
I can't do that.
[to Arnold] You understand that your Permanent Record will follow you all the way to Junior High?
I understand.
And you still won't tell.
No.
Then, you leave me no choice.
I did it, it was me! I'm sorry, Arnold is completely innocent. I'm the mooner. I am the mooner! [sobs]
I am guilty, too. [sobs]
SSid
And me! We all did it together. [sobs]
Arnold had nothing to do with it.
SSid
Oh, he was just a pawn in a horrible, twisted prank!
He's a saint. He's a saint. [Arnold smiles]
Well, Young Man, I suppose this lets you off the hook... [closes the top of the permanent black marker] ...for now.
I had to do it. I just couldn't live with the guilt.
It's gonna go on your Permanent Record.
Yeah, I know, but I'd never figure I'd make it to Junior High anyways.
I feel so much better now that we fessed up.
SSid
Me too. I guess we didn't realize it, but deep down, the guilt was driving us crazy the whole time, you know, subconsciously.
Hey, Arnold, do you remember when I said you don't have any guts, 'cause you wouldn't moon Principal Wartz?
Yeah.
Why, you don't have any guts then, but after you showed up to Wartz and didn't rat us out, well, I figure that took a lot of guts. More guts than me and Sid and Stinky got put together.
SSid
Yeah, Arnold, you've got guts.
You are just chock full of guts.
Thanks.
Hey, guys, what do you say tomorrow, we'd make a great big old sign that says "KICK ME," and tape it to Mr. Simmons' back?
SSid
[giggles] What a great idea.
Everybody would be kicking him all day, and he won't get why!
I know if that's not such a great idea...
Look, it's Helga the bed wetter. [laughs]
Listen, ya big tub of lard, if you ever call me this again, I swear I'll...
Helga, that isn't a very nice thing to play with your little friends.
But, uh...
"But" nothing, Baby Sister— I'll have to assign you detention, for the rest of the week.
GGino
[Seeing Sid come in with Arnold] I see you brought your lawyer.
[to his father] I know and all in one week too!
Try, try, and try again, til you can't try no longer. And if that don't work, you just spent a whole lot of time doin' somethin' you just couldn't do.
Mayor Dixie: Wow! That's the biggest vegetable I've ever seen! First prize goes to.
Stinky: Stinky Peterson.
LLila
I just didn't feel right about ruining Rhonda's personal property without getting her permission first. It felt, well, ever so wrong.
Yeah, well, guess what? You're ever so fired!
LLila
Thank you.
No way, Helga, uh-uh! Nadine belongs to me! She's my sidekick, so hands off!
Oh, who am I kidding? I'll never be able to replace her! Oh, if only I had supported her in her moment of distinction instead of assailing her with cruel words!
[Helga and Phoebe reconcile after their fight at the start of an episode]
You're more than just my sidekick. You're my best friend. I guess I forgot that.
Thanks, Helga. You're my best friend too.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hey Arnold! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.