Hell's Kitchen Season 9 quotes

Blue Team, I've got an amazing day. Do you like speed?

Meth or coke?[the contestants laugh]

Oh, my God! [Gordon slaps himself]

Only kidding! I'm only kidding!

[to Natalie] Switch spots with me, please. [he and Natalie do so]

You're going to make me stand next to him (Tommy)?

Elise!

Yes, chef.

Salad!

[runs to pass] Sorry to keep you waiting.

[checks salad before returning to workstation] Come here! All of you, come here! Hey, look. Look. [pours water out of salad bowl] That's the state of where we are now. [drops bowl]

(interview) I did tell her right before dinner service, I was like, "Elise, you need to drain that salad." [flashback of Carrie telling Elise to drain the salad] As always, she never listens.

(to Elise) Look at me. Why is it in the water?

I... I didn't touch the station. Carrie touched the station. It's in water, I'm gonna drain it.

It's supposed to be drained before we start, and I did ask you to do that.

I didn't—

(to Elise) What section are you on?!

I am on appetizers, chef!

Right, so who's responsible for draining the fucking salad?!

I am, chef! I'm sorry, chef, I'm draining it now!

As usual. It wasn't drained for me.

Wellington, New York!

I have the wellington and the New York ready. I'm cutting it right now. [gasps after seeing the center of the cut wellington] Oh, this one's gonna be overcooked. Shit!

Oh, my God. Holy fuck, this is not real. Everything's fucked! [looks at wellingtons on Krupa's station] Oh, come on. Red team, stop! Everything's overcooked!

(interview) Krupa was cooking all the meat wrong. She was a nightmare.

(to Krupa) What are you doing?!

I don't know, chef. (interview) I honestly don't know what happened. There's no reason. (sighs; to Gordon) I'm frazzled, chef. I'm sorry.

You're telling me? Krupa, do you wanna go home?

No, chef.

Let's go!

How long on the bass?

Three and a half minutes. (interview) I've never cooked sea bass here before, but it's just like any other piece of fish, and you know, I've already messed up once, you know. I don't plan on doing it again.

(to Jonathon) How long do you need?

Go ahead. I'm fixing to cut two wellingtons.

(brings the sea bass to the pass) Behind.

This wellington's overdone. Yep, here it is, baby. (interview) I'm almost to the point of panic. Tommy prepped my wellingtons like big balls of shit. What am I supposed to do? (in the kitchen) That's a little bitty motherfucker right there. Probably to get my ass handed to me on that one. Yep. (brings the wellington to pass) Here.

Oh, fuck me. (returns the sea bass and wellington to the workstation) All of you, come here!

[moans] (interview) Chef Ramsay's about to fucking kill my ass.

One, I don't know what the fuck that is. [grabs a wellington]

It's a little one, that's my fault, Chef. It won't happen again. It's a fucking little bit overcooked because of the size. I realize that. It won't happen again, I promise.

Just like that?... [throws a spoon on a workstation] (brief pause) (Natalie) And you? It's raw in the center. Raw. And you're a talented cook! (Natalie goes silent to give her response)

Chef, I've got some more wellingtons.

(calling Jonathon and Natalie out of the kitchen) You and you... fuck off! Get out!

For crying out, man, I'm so sick of this bullshit, man.

Hey, hold on. Take that shit with you.

I'm done. I'm quit.

JONATHON! COME HERE, YOU!

You can kiss my ass.

JONATHON! I'd respect you more if you told me BEFORE you brought it to me! (brief pause) A-anything to say?!

It won't happen again.

DON'T FUCKING DARE BRING ME THAT SHIT!

Yes, chef. Won't happen again.

Fuck off!

(to Red Team) Table 31, look at me! The appetizers now, U.S. Coast Guard, yeah? Show them some respect.

Yes, chef.

Let's go.

Jennifer, a minute out?

Yeah, one minute out. We're walking in thirty seconds.

Good. Wow, drive it, Jamie.

Yes, chef! (interview) We have really solid cooks on our team.

(to Carrie) How long on the pizza, Carrie?

How long does it take? About two minutes?

(interview) I mean, with the exception of Carrie.

(to Carrie) What is it with you and pizza?!

I know, chef. I can do this, chef.

There's a pizza on the next table...

Yes, chef.

...and it's not even rolled out.

Rolling it right now, chef.

(interview) Carrie is just so, like, frazzled in her head that she's not even thinking straight, and can't see in front of her.

(to Carrie) Look at me. That's already fucked. [holds up thin pizza dough] When you roll it looking like a pair of fucking knickers... [Elise shakes her head]

I'll start a new one, chef.

Jesus Christ. [throws dough on workstation]

Capellini, chef.

[after examining the capellini] Fuck me. [returns to workstation] Over my fucking dead body! All of you, come here. Where's your spoons? (to Natalie) Just taste that! Taste it! I swear to God, it's like food from a kindergarten! I've tasted better canned spaghetti! And this is the U.S. Coast Guard! (to Paul) You! Show them how to do a lobster capellini!:

Yes, chef!

If it doesn't sink in, THEY'RE OUT!! I don't care, they're gone!

Jonathon, come here. I want a word with you.

(interview) The pain is starting to get to me. I thought I could push through dinner service, man. But it's–it's gradually getting worse.

[follows Jonathon into the pantry] What's happening?

Honestly, chef...

What's happening? Look at me straight in the eyes! What's happening? Come on!

Uh...

Give it to me!

My mobility's a little limited. I didn't want to give up on the team or be a bitch or give up. So I'm in here doing the best I can.

It doesn't stop you using your brain! I've had a young man in here two years ago that broke his fucking arm! [referring to Dave, who won season 6] He went on to win the fucking competition!

Yes, chef.

If you've given up, GET OUT!

I'm not giving up!

WELL, FUCKING FIGHT BACK!

I am fighting, chef!

THEN STOP SENDING ME SHIT!

Yes, chef!

New York strip, wellington. Where are we?

How long, Tommy?

Anybody helping him or what?

Hold on, I got it! I got it!

You gotta cut those too, man!

Hold on. I got a rhythm going.

Oh, fuck me. You three.

Cut it and bring them up.

Bring it up!

What's this one, normal or medium? Is that medium?

Tommy, which one's well?

I don't know which one's well!

Medium or well?

(interview) Tommy can cook, but Tommy doesn't communicate. Tommy's in his own fucking world.

Tommy, what's this one?

Where's the two medium? (to Tommy) Stop. Leave me alone. Leave me alone, Tommy.

That's the medium rare, chef.

Leave me alone. My fucking head hurts.

The last two are medium.

[to Blue Team] All of you. All of you, just touch that. Just touch that! Where's the two medium?

Here, chef. And that is the medium rare.

Oh, the cold one? (to Tommy) You made me look like a fucking arsehole in front of Wolfgang Puck today! Now, that's... that's hot, that's lukewarm, and that's cold. Are you done?

No, no, no!

Yeah, I'm done with you!

Tommy, heat them up! Get them back to the fucking pass!

How long?!

HOW LONG?!

Three minutes, chef.

You have another wellington you can use, or do I need to put this one in?

WHY CAN'T WE JUST FUCKING REHEAT THEM?! [slams fist on workstation]

IT'S FALLING APART! IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT, I'M NOT SENDING IT OUT LIKE THAT!

Hey! Hey, hey, look at me! Hey, hello? [calls the attention of the blue team by knocking the workstation twice] He's (Tommy) cooking the seabass, what the fuck is he doing?!

Come on, Tommy! Tommy, are you serious?

Come here you! Hey, come here! He's cooking the fucking entrée [knocks his hand on the workstation] before we get to the fucking appetisers!

(interview) I got a little ahead of myself, I was on Speed Racer Mode. Started to get a little racy in the brain. I'm doing everything a hair early.

So he's cooking the sea bass now! For the third table, we haven't even sent the appetiser!

Okay, I'm rushing it.

Rushing it? Do me a favour. Fuck off outside, get a big, deep breath of fresh air. Piss off! Go on. Outside. Outside! Hey, look at me, fuck off! What a fucking muppet! (After Gordon kicks Tommy out for his fresh air) Romantic dinner? More like a fucked-up dinner!

Now, look at this. [returns to the workstation] All of you, come here. Yeah, that's you (Carrie).

What? [sees her sea bass] Oh, God. I didn't even see that. Oh, shit.

(to Carrie) Hey, come here. You didn't see that?

(interview) Burning stuff to crisp and trying to pass it off like you didn't see it? That's some kind of joke.

Get out!

I didn't even see that. I have another one in the oven. Don't kick me out, chef. Please. I'm not ready to quit, chef--

Yeah, look at- get out!

No!

Get out.

No, I have another one in the oven!

Get out of here.

[tries to return] Goddammi-- I have another one--

Get out!

Fuck! [tries to return again] Chef, please, no! I have another one in the oven! I can do this!

[knocks his hand on the workstation] Fucking move! You thick fucking idiot! [calls Carrie and gives her the burnt sea bass] Hey madam! Madam! Take your shit with you. Yeah. Enjoy your romantic dinner on your fucking own!

Meanwhile, in the blue kitchen...

How long two bass, one chicken, one cod?

Walking now, chef.

Paul is ready with the blue team's first entrées.

What's he done? It's raw! (brief pause) Paul!

Is it raw chef?

Stop! All of you, come here! Paul just asked me, 'Is it raw?'

It's under!

(To Paul) Will you tell me? Just touch that! TOUCH THAT! [Natalie touches the chicken] ROMANTIC DINNER?! [throws his spoon away on the workstation]

(interview) It pisses me off because Paul knows better that. I mean... you just can't serve raw chicken.

(to Paul) Hey, chef! Let me ask you, is that raw?

Chef, its under. I got another one. I'll give it to you right now--

Hey, come here you! Answer my fucking question.

Yes, chef. It's raw.

GET OUT!

[loses his temper and throws his towel on the floor] Fuck!

Pink carnations, maybe. Pink chicken, no chance!

[angrily knocks on the wall with both hands; having throw tantrums] (interview) I fucked up on a chicken! I mean, I'm fucking furious at myself! [kicks his door to the dorms] Chef Ramsay, let me back in! Let me finish what I started.

Tommy, give that to Paul for his fucking romantic dinner. Upstairs, hurry up!

PUT THE SCALLOPS ON!

Shut up!

Vegetarian cap(ellini)?

Elise is ready with the vegetarian capellini.

Oh, Jesus Christ. That's not vegetarian. Elise! It's the-- Shut your fucking mouth! One capellini, no lobster.

I'm sorry.

Start again. Yeah, fuck off! I'm sorry you're here. You [points to Jamie] are like her. You just can't be bothered anymore!

No, chef!

(interview) Elise is one of those people that thinks that she's one of the strongest, but not tonight.

Entrées! [knocks his arm to the workstation; reads the ticket] One fucking vegetarian capellini, no lobster, just plain tomato sauce! Call out, chef.

[begins to read the ticket] Entrées! One vegetarian lobster capellini.

One more time!

Entrées is vegetarian lobster capellini!

ONE MORE TIME!! ONE MORE TIME!!

One lobster capellini vegetarian!

IS IT IN?!

Yes, chef!

WAKE UP!!

Yes, chef! (interview) I know Chef Ramsay is pissed off at me because I know respect so much more to me. I expect toward myself and I'm pissed off at myself.

(quietly, to Elise) A black jacket? You need a straitjacket!

While Tommy finishes what Chef Ramsay stared, over in the red kitchen...

Vegetarian cap(ellini). [brings to the pass]

Elise is ready to impress with her next oyster dish.

Let's go! [Elise presents the dish] Aw, come on! (Brief pause) In fact, you tell me chef, are they overcooked?

[after touching oyster dish] Yes they are, chef.

Come here you, GET OUT! Hey! Do you know what? You don't care.

I do care!

Look! Come here! Look, look! They're like bullets! Look at the water... Look at... You're going to say... You're going to say they're fresh and delicious?

No, chef.

Yeah, take that, take that and fuck off out of here! Eat them! Enjoy your dinner! Nice romantic plate of oysters for a little superstar.

(interview) Uaagghh...!!!

(to Elise) Bon appetit, princess!

(interview) I'm pissed, I'm embarrassed. The only way to get worse is if I don't have a chance to redeem myself because I know I can fucking do it.

What the fuck? [returns to the workstation] All of you, just stop! Come here.

Uh-oh.

[sees Carrie still doing her garnishes] Oh, my God. Look, she's so fucking rude.

I'm not rude chef.

Put your fucking pan down. [gets a spoonful] That's burnt! [angrily slams the pan upside down]

I got more potatoes coming right now chef.

Come on, Carrie!

(interview) Garnish was slow as hell today. That was not coming off.

[throws the spoonful on the workstation] SHIT!!

I got more potatoes coming right now.

It's like a fucking bullet!

Elise, you have a bright career in this industry... as a customer! Your biggest problem is you can't work with a team.

That's not true, I have been trying to work with my team since I got here.

How many people on The Red Team think Elise is a unique dynamic team player then?

I think she's an individual, I'll say

More concerned about her in her little world?

[over Gordon speaking] Was I an individual when I went up and read the tickets for everybody? [Carrie sighs in disbelief] Was I an individual then? [bangs the work surface] When no one else would step up and I did? Was I an individual then?

One time Elise?

Shut up for, SHUT UP FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS!!! THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, YOU DON'T SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO WHAT WE HAVE TO FUCKING SAY!

Oh I take constructive criticism!

SHUT UP!, my fucking turn! [Will shakes his head] That's your problem, no one fucking listens! [Paul gives off a shocked look]