Hell's Kitchen Season 7 quotes

[tonight is family night] Now, there's going to be a lot of children. Don't make me fucking swear tonight!

Where's the spaghetti? Who's cooking the spaghetti?

I don't know. Is the spaghetti coming out?

What do you mean, "I don't know"? Why aren't you discussing it together? Fucking hell, first ticket. Who's cooking the spaghetti?

[points at Scott] They are.

[to Scott and Siobhan] Ah - come here, you and you, come here, both of you - fuck off will you. [walks into the blue kitchen] Who's cooking the spaghetti?

I am, chef.

Thank you, why?

Because the garnish does sides.

Tell those fucking muppets!

Garnish is cooking the spaghetti.

Got it. I need to cook the spaghetti. (interview) Pasta? No one told me I was cooking pasta on my side!

I got the spaghetti down right now.

Siobhan, step one, pasta doesn't cook unless the fucking water's boiling. Pasta does not cook unless the water is...

...boiling. My fault.

(interview) Come on! Hello? Is this brain surgery? It's pasta.

Hey red team, what are we doing? We're going to hold up the whole fucking dining room because we're waiting on fucking spaghetti! Get a grip. You need to wake up!

Yes.

Oh fuck me. Not tonight.

But Salvatore has a question.

Chef, did you say one risotto? One risotto, one capellini?

Two risottos, one capellini, one truffle salad.

Yes, chef.

Let's go. How long?

One minute chef.

Let's go!

Yes, chef.

Have you got enough in there for two?

I got it. [puts more rice in the pan]

Why are you putting more rice in there? Is that because you just found out there's two risotto?

No, no, no.

Oh, my God! Hey, blue team, come here, all of you! The risotto's one minute away from being cooked. He realises we're one portion short. Then they start dumping fresh rice in there. Who's smart idea was that?

It was my idea chef.

Why didn't you tell me then?

I apologize, chef.

Salvatore, working with a cook who tells lies is 10,000 times worse than dealing with a chef who can't cook! You just lost my trust! How dare you? PATHETIC! Benjamin, watch him; the guy's a fucking liability.

Yes, chef. (interview) You don't lie to your chefs and you don't lie to your fellow cooks. That's like a fucking no-no.

Salvatore, now we should start the whole fucking lot again!

Yes, chef.

Nilka, where's the risotto?

Right here chef.

Nilka, no lobster!

Oh shit! I thought I put lobster in there chef.

Hey madam, you're cursing in front of the children. Hey look at me, I need you to wake up rapidly. Just cook!

Say no more.

With Nilka's risotto stalling the red kitchen, Jean-Philippe distracts the customers.

[goes over to where a little girl is coloring a picture of Gordon on her menu and adding the quote "YOU DONKEY!"] Let me have a look at it. What's on there?

"You donkey."

Yeah but it's not my picture, who's picture is that? Chef Ramsay and you call him donkey.

No, he says it.

Well, whatever Chef Ramsay says now and then, don't use it.

I won't.

When he's out of the kitchen, I keep reminding him, "Chef, you can't do that."

Fran! Fuck! They're overcooked, Fran! Come here! They're rubber, just touch! That's rubber! That's burned to fuck!

(interview) Can't cook freaking scallops? You know, I don't understand.

This is shambolic! It's a disaster! I swear to god, I'll throw every one of you out of here and Andi and I will do the fucking service because this is bullshit!

This shit is just fucked up!

So much for no fucking swearing.

Ohh, fucking hell. Oh, I just... I don't know where to fucking go! (throws his spoon away) I can't take it much more. I can't take it. It's not even pink, it's not even cooked... (Scott tries to retrieve the wellingtons) Just PUT IT DOWN! AND TOUCH IT! Are you colorblind?

No, chef.

GET THEM IN THE OVEN! Come here, you! (leads Scott to the pantry and slams the door) WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

Nothing chef.

BUT YOU KNOW IT'S NOT EVEN COOKED, IT'S RAW, SCOTT! IT'S STONE-COLD IN THE MIDDLE!

Okay chef. No problem. It won't happen again. I promise. I promise.

All of you! ALL OF YOU! (Gordon interrupts Holli) That's you ditsy!

For one simple question.

Is that the best roast chicken and is that the best fucking beef requested mid-rare? (grabs Siobhan's hand) I want you to touch it. I want you to touch it! Touch it! Touch it! Touch fucking IT! (throws spoon away)

No.

No, no it's not. The chicken's dry.

Where's the gratin on top?

It got pulled off. It was on there before.

No, it wasn't.

Look at me! Is that the best?

No, chef.

Is that the best?

No, chef.

Is that the best?

No, chef.

Do me a favour: FUCK OFF, ALL OF YOU! GET OUT! GET OUT! And don't you dare switch it off, I'll finish it! Fuck off!

I would love to stay an-

GET OUT! OUT! GET OUT! (throws the chicken into one of the units) GET OUT!

(to herself) I'm sick of this shit.

[follows the red team] GET OUT!

That's really embarrassing. What happened?

[goes into the blue kitchen] Scott, come in here with me and I'll finish this one, please, yeah?

Okay.

Now, Chef Ramsay and his trusted sous chefs, Scott and Andi, will complete the red kitchen's dinner service.

Three spaghetti, one tagliatelle, yes?

Three spaghetti, one t- (sees the mess that the Red team left) Oh, my god! What the fuck did they do to this place?

Yeah, I know.

Wow, they're really bad, huh?

Yep.

While the blue team gets out all the desserts, Chef Ramsay calls the red team back to the kitchen.

All your entrées are served, everything's done. Now come back and do something you're good at, fucking cleaning! At least you'll do something as a team!

The Red Team lost, but there seems to be some confusion as who the nominees should be.

Who is the best chef on the Red Team?

Chef, I feel like I'm the best.

Absolutely not! You just take over and say "Oh well, I did this, I did that!" You want to gloat and rub it in our faces. It's bullshit!

It's not gloating or rubbing it in your face, it's just letting you know the truth.

We don't need to hear it! We've been doing it before you.

None of you guys work in fine dining restaurants.

You could have surprised us, the way you've produced over the last two days.

Oh, thank you Fran. You as well, you've had a pretty easy ride the whole way through.

Yeah?

Injure your hand a little bit, and you get treated like a little fucking princess.

Oh, yeah, okay.

(rolls eyes) Wow. Great team-work there!

Siobhan, why do you think you should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?

I take pride in my work, and I put my best effort forward. I use that little bit of knowledge I have, I have passion, and I ask a lot of questions...

(interrupting Siobhan) You shouldn't be asking simple fucking questions! It should take care of itself. This isn't culinary school, the common-sense things are driving the red team down, big time.

Scott, why are you back here?

I was voted up, Chef. I don't agree with it. I've had a tough couple of services, but I'm a hard worker. Obviously, you know that. I just bust ass every day, I have a calmness about me every day, no matter what the stresses bring. By no means, I'm not the worst cook in this team by far, I'm the best cook in this team, the best leader in this team, I can accomplish...

(interrupting Scott) I can't take it any more.

Fran.

Yes, chef?

Siobhan. Fuck off back in line.

This team will fucking die if I'm not here.

Scott, give me your jacket. I can't take it any more. I cannot take it. (shakes Scott's hand as Scott leaves) I kept waiting and I waited and waited, but it didn't happen. Good night.

Good night, Chef.

If Scott could cook as well as he talks, he'd be the winner of Hell's Kitchen. Unfortunately for him, he can't.

When it's brown, it's cooked; when it's black, it's fucked!

(checking Fran's broccolini) It's not all over cooked in there, is it?

No, I just dropped it Chef.

Well, why are you draining it in one bit and not the other bit in the same fucking time?

I just did another piece.

So, if you left that in there, it's going to overcook. Get the fucking hell out! It's a piece of broccolini, show a little bit of respect.

I will Chef. Ready?

Now, Benjamin's on the garnish. Fucking hell. (Fran comes to the pass with piping hot undrained potatoes.) Cut the bullshit! Let go! Let go! Lazy. (drains the potatoes in the sink) Madam,

Yes, Chef.

You fucking drain the potatoes, or next time, fuck off! Okay? Yeah? You're just running over here with a hot pan and say, "There you go! You bunch of fucking idiots!"

I'm sorry, Chef.

Show a little bit of respect not to give me a baking hot pan!

I won't do it again, Chef.

Before all the fat doesn't spread all over the fucking stupid fucking place!

(interview) I think Fran is definitely over her head and you can't just disregard safety just because you're busy.

Engage your brain!

Yes, Chef. What are we working on next?

Yeah, I like that. "What are we working on?" One trout, one spaghetti, two steak. We're bound to fuck that one up.

Where is the scallops?

How's the scallops?

I had to re-fire one order of scallops.

(goes to Siobhan's station; gets her pan of scallops) Look at this! What are you doing there?

I thought they look golden brown, chef.

Stop, fuck off will you?

I thought they look fine, chef.

You thought they look golden brown.

(interview) They were fucking black.

Take that, yeah?

There are some on here that were fine, chef.

So, where's the fine ones then?

They're right over here.

(interview) Shut the fuck up and cook. 'Yes Chef' and cook. Don't talk, cause he's only going to shove his foot deeper in your ass!

Where are they? Where are they? You've got the nerve to tell me that some of it were fine. (points out some scallops) Wishy-washy, not even seasoned and you know what? More importantly, they're boiled. You DONKEY! Fuck off out! Get out, get out. Get out, there you go. Get out! Fuck off to the bar and eat it!

And Chef Ramsay has sent her to the dining room to eat her mistakes.

In the dining room, one customer...

Is it cooked?

It's rare at best.

(talks to waiter) I asked for medium and that's rare completely.

Shit!

Decides to take manners into his own hands.

[at the pass] Oh no! This is rare.

(who stands at the Red kitchen) Service, please!

Fuck!

What's the matter? Oh, talk to me?

[pointing at the beef] Medium?

Excuse me? Hey, you don't call me you acting like on it's funny. (to male diner) Yeah, do me a favour: That's his [JP] job, you fuck off, yes?

Are you trying to poison me?

Poison you? What a fucking dick. It's beef, you fucking idiot, tartare! (to male diner again) You never heard of that?

It's low-grade beef, at best.

Go get a shave, you fucking knob-end!

It's low-grade dog food, at best.

(goes to Blue kitchen) Let's go. Standing on ice on a fucking jerk. Stand strong, buddy! Stand nice and strong. Push your arms up and you're like a fucking quail!

All of you, come here! Pink chicken. Not just pink but fucking raw! And you what? Not even cooked. Raw, raw, RAW!! (smashes the chicken on the plate)

(interview) It's sliced! You could obviously see that's fucking raw. You can't send up raw chicken no matter what.

(to Nilka) I would expect you 10x more when you tell me the chicken's raw!

(interview) Aaarrrggghhh! Why? I tried so hard, I don't want to fuck up tonight!

It's not fair! You can't just do that! The chicken's raw!!

You're right.