Hell's Kitchen Season 1 quotes

Jeff, one spaghetti lobster with no lobster in it. The other is loaded with lobster. Wear that one out!

Chef Ramsay's addition of Michael to the red team is already paying off.

[to Jeff] Say "Thank you, Mike." Say "Thank you, Mike."

Thank you, Mike. [under his breath] They're expecting too much for someone who's never been on a fucking line before.

Jeff, do you want him to cook your meat for you, too?

What do you want me to do?! I've never been on a fucking line before! I'm doing it, I'm trying!

Jeff! Jeff!

Are you fucking talking to me right now, Jeff?! Are you?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is going on?

I'm trying the best I can-

Come here! Come here, you!

I'm doing the best I can! I've never been on a line before.

Stop shouting. Alright, what are we waiting on?

I'm working on that spaghetti right now.

Alright, move your arse and get it done. Dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Jeff, we're here to help you, but you don't talk to chef like that, okay?

Jeff, did you hear that (last order)?

No, I'm done man. I'm finished.

No you're not! Come back, Jeff!

Here we go with that. Are you going to run?

No, I'm going to stay and finish up service.

Oh really. Why?

Because I'm not a quitter.

You're not a quitter. Hey, you're not a fucking cook either. [returns to the pass]

[under his breath] You're an asshole.

What was that? What did you just say? I want you to say it louder! I want you to say it louder, Jeff!

Come here. What did you say?

If you don't like me, I don't know what to tell you. You're an asshole.

That's not cool, Jeff.

Unbelievable.

That is not fucking cool.

[takes his jacket off and leaves the kitchen] Send my ass home. I've had enough of this shit.

Go, please.

A little more than two hours into dinner service, Jeff has walked out, and the Red team is trying to keep it together.

Jeff, well, I had to laugh at the end when he called me an arsehole. I've been called far worse than that. [hangs Jeff's jacket] Wendy, well it's about time I put you out of your misery. [hangs Wendy's jacket]

Andrew, can you hear me, you jumped-up little politician, can you hear me? [contestants chuckle] Oh good, that's working. Jimmy, what's it like to be slim? He definitely can't hear me.

Jimmy, don't eat my fingers.

Feels like chicken, tastes like chicken...

So, what is it?

Chicken.

It tasted like a meat tortellini with a bit of sweated onions in the background.

Jesus Christ! [Gordon doubles over, contestants chuckle] That was chicken, you twat!

Uh, okay

Tortellini, where in the fuck does he get tortellini from?

It's something awful man, something from a cow that I shouldn't be eating. It tastes like a brain or something like that. I don't know. (Gordon laughs)

What are you doing? Get that fucking tape off of there. Now get the fuck back in there! You think I'm fucking stupid?! I'm not stupid like you. Come here. You fucking guys fuck it up and you get a punishment, you don't fucking break it so it works for you. You blew it, pay the consequences! Got it?

Yes, chef.

Why don't you try being as serious as these people are on your team instead of being a jerk? [takes the chickens back into the storeroom]

Chef, I'm going to break those down right now.

No you're not, because Andrew just ruined it for you because he was taping the door. When you need them you gotta come in here and get one.

You know, from the first day I met you, Andrew, you're not the kind of big-headed, arrogant little twat who likes to be steamrollered. Now you're telling me that Ralph manipulated your dish into becoming a poached halibut?

Chef, it's like I said...

Andrew, give me your jacket.

Jimmy, you won the challenge yesterday. You get to decide the person who will be serving the Caesar Salad and Fruit Flambe tableside.

Jesus.

What's that? Uh, no.

He didn't make it to the final five.

[to Jimmy] Why are you putting that salt on there, why are you putting chicken stock on there?

It's uh, fish, chef.

Why are you putting that over there like that?

It - it's not - it doesn't -

I saw you over there, I saw you going -

I did do it -

Hey, hey, listen, listen. Don't fucking start shouting your fat mouth at me. Hey - hey look at me. So I'm asking you why you're putting the fucking fish stock on a fucking risotto! GET IT OFF! [as he does] Because I think it's a bit bizarre that you finished it and you get a ladle of fish stock like that and you put it over the risotto! So I'm asking you and you refuse to tell me. Then, you will open your fat fucking mouth! So why is it on there?

[unable to answer] I'm sorry, chef.

Why isn't the fish in the pan? [no answer from Jimmy] Why isn't the fish--?

[shouts] I'm trying to fucking do both do both at the same time! What do you want me to do?!

Come here you. Come here you.

No!

What do you mean no?

I'm trying to do them in the same time.

Just calm down. Just calm fucking down.

I'm trying to do them both at the same time.

Are you about to crack?

No.

Don't fucking shout at me. What are you going to do?

I'm going to stay and finish.

Calm down - while I'm standing here pissed off - what about those fucking customers there then?

I'm trying for them.

Right. Talk to me properly or fuck off! Is that clear?

Yes, chef.

Right. Is the fish in the pan?

No, chef.

Get it in the pan.

Yes.

[sees Jessica's pan catching fire] Oh, fuck's sake! Jessica, what are you doing? Shut it down, yes? [the remaining chefs groan] Yeah, and I'm going to tell you why I'm going to shut it down, okay? Because two individuals let me down here tonight, you (Jimmy) are one of them and you're (Jessica) the other one. And you think that is bad, I'll tell you what, if you'll ever going to to make it. You'll have to take a lot more pressure than that. Shut it down. [to Jean-Philippe] Tell the customers I'm closing the place down.

[on making a soufflé] When they work, it's a dream come true. But when they don't work, it's a huge disappointment.

[interview] When we saw these last five tickets counted down. It was like the countdown to the new millenium.