Hell's Kitchen quotes

When Jessica first arrived, I had high expectations for her. Unfortunately, she let us both down.

Oh, Jesus. They're rubber. Scallops are overcooked! Rubber, look at that one. Just touch that one there. Just touch it there! Come on, get me some more in there!

Yes, chef!

You've got the easiest appetiser!

Yes, chef. (interview) Fuck me!

Hey, fuck you!

Yes, chef.

Okay? (returns a tray of appetizers to the workstation) Hey, fuck you all! Cold pizza, cold fish and chips, refire urgently!

That's burned. (returns to the workstation) Fuck you all! [knocks the workstation] Damn! Come here, all of you! Come on! Hey look, there's no garnish around there and that's the biggest bit. Look at that there.

Fuck me!

(raises the pizza and drops it) For kids, and kids, fucking kids!

(interview) Dan is like a monkey wrench in a machine. You're killing me, man!

Start again and get it together!

Yes, chef!

Stone-cold. Hey, all of you. (points to Ray) You first, fuck-wit! Come here!

Oh, fuck! (interview) No, this can't be happening.

Just touch that. Just touch the burger.

Oh, it's fucked, chef.

[angrily throws the burger on the workstation] Whose table is that?

(interview) A cold cheeseburger. How the hell does something like that happen?!

That's my family.

(interview) He just brought a perfect storm our way. Thanks, dude.

At this stage of the game, I don't expect the "I'm sorry!" IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! [knocks his hand on the workstation] IT'S FUCKED!!

I have another one chef.

(interview) Get it together, man. A cold burger?

(to Ray) Hey, you have the audacity to send that to my son! I wouldn't do that to your family!

Totally my fault, chef.

I've got raw chicken here.

And it's for my wife.

[returns the chicken to the workstation] HEY! For Chef James's wife, pink chicken.

(interview) Raw fish, people can survive it. Under-cooked meat, cook it more it's like not going to kill you, but fucking raw chicken will fucking kill you.

Chef James's wife is pregnant.

Oh, my gosh.

(interview) I can't even look at Chef James in the eyes. He's like a freaking triple black belt in Taekwondo. This dude will probably fuck me up right now.

My family and James's family. Red Team, take over! Let's go! Move!

Yes, chef!

Hey, pedicure, manicure! How long?

I am waiting for Susan!

No, you fucked you! She's (Susan) slicing the prime rib! And you just stopped the whole fucking kitchen. (calls the Red team to the pass) All of you! (calls Susan in the dining room) SUSAN!

Yes, chef?

COME HERE, YOU!

(interview) I know everyone keeps saying, "Jacqueline is an amazing chef, she's so strong." (to Gordon) Yes, chef?

You just stopped sending entrées, (to Susan) did you tell her (Jacqueline) to stop?

No.

Oh, really?!

(interview) But if you can't perform with the lights turned on, then it's worthless.

We are now stopped being serving meat that we're dying for. (to Jacqueline) Have you heard of anything so fucking stupid?!

No.

The less you give me your best, go home! OVER!

Yes, chef.

Get it together. Have a little meeting.

I know what table is next. If I need to rush, I could rush.

Okay.

HURRY UP!!

Yes, chef!

Let's go, guys.

They're fucking raw. Fuck off. (to the Blue team) Hey, raw New York!

Oh, fuck me. (interview) Oh, my God. He just can't catch a break.

(to Ray) Come here, you. Just fucking come here! Who cooked it?

I---.

ANSWER!!!

I did, chef. I cooked it. I'll take it. I did, chef.

This is where it goes so fucking badly! It's not even red in there!

I understand, chef.

Two of you on the section! [knocks his hand on the workstation] Do you have any fight left?!

Michael, make another one!

I'm going to cook. I'm going to cook.

(interview) Ray, Michael. Pull your heads out of your asses and cook the fucking meat!

Here, I got the fucking New York strip, okay?

I got it on.

Don't rush the steaks.

(interview) Ray, please stop talking. Let me fucking cook the meat. I got it.

How long for that New York strip?

Three and a half, chef.

Oh, fuck! Take the table back. Oh, fuck me. (gives the tray of entrées to Ray) Ray, hey. Fuck off. Take that. Take it. A fucking joke!

Raw, raw, fucking raw. [returns to the workstation] Oh, fucking hell!

Fuck my life!

Raw filet! The easiest to cook, the most glamourous, the most in demand, cold and raw!

(interview) Jacqueline says it's good, I trusted her, and they're raw.

Raw in the middle! Hey, Amanda! It's not sushi night, it's steak night!

Yes, chef!

It's raw now. Now they're taking the piss. (returns to the workstation and repeatedly knocks it) What is it for the second fucking time?!

It's fucking raw, chef.

That's right! It's fucking raw!! (throws a filet on the workstation)

I have two more in the oven.

(points to Amanda, Jacqueline, Nedra and Cyndi) You, you, you, you! FUCK OFF, ALL FOUR OF YOU! GET OUT! GET OUT!!

You are kidding me, ice cold! HEY! ALL OF YOU COME HERE, HURRY UP! [returns the tuna at the workstation; then knocks twice on the counter] JUST TOUCH THAT! TOUCH THAT YOUR FINGERS.

Stone-cold.

IT'S SAYING ICE COLD!

Fuck!

Something is so easy! WHO SEARED IT?

Nedra seared it. (cuts off to Nedra when she blinks her eyes)

I-- (interview) Fuck you, Amanda! You skate on thin ice! It's not the one I seared.

[drops the tuna onto the workstation] Fucking hell! (throws a spoon away) I STOOD AWAY TO GO! A PIECE OF FISH THAT BIG THAT CAN'T BE SEARED! SHIT! (knocks over the workstation twice)

Chef, I need take four--

Nedra seared it, chef. I got it.

(rekindles Amanda) "Nedra seared it, I got it." (throws a spoon with a disappointment)

(interview) Back off the station, I have it!

Chef, it was a poor mistake I'm trying to fix right now.

Fucking bitch!

We're firing apps brilliantly, and now we're gonna start firing entrées.

Heard that, Chef.

Okay? First table away. Don't fall behind!

Absolutely.

Yes, Chef.

Red team, away now: one New York strip, one branzino. They go with the Blue team at the exact same time, yes?

Yes, Chef!

Zach, one pork, one filet.

I'm ready now, one minute!

Hey, come here, you fuckface. This is where he doesn't understand jack shit. "I'm ready now, one minute." And yet the Red team need a bit of fucking time. [points to the Red Team] I wouldn't let them do that to you, so why are you doing that to them?

Um, Chef, three minutes?

What'd you think? We started off with what? [holds his hand up]

Five.

Thank you.

(interview) Unbelievable. Let me just keep my mouth shut. Yes, Chef!

Is that clear now?

Yes, that's very clear!

I appreciate that!

Thank you, Chef.

That's why I call you "fuckface!"

Not a problem, Chef!

Because you're fucking them (the Red team) and you're fucking me!

I don't wanna fuck anybody!

Thank you!

Thank you! (interview) Did I just have a conversation with Chef Ramsay about fucking? [cuts to Zach in the kitchen, grinning] Yes, I did.

All of you, head back to the red fucking kitchen and spend two minutes and decide amongst you! Hurry up! I didn't ask you to stick it in a fucking hat like some fucking game show! What is this?!

This is a Japanese noodles, pan-seared chicken, fresh Napper (Napa) cabbage, bok chewy (choy)...

(interview) What the fuck is bok chewy? YOU MEAN BOK CHOY, FOOL?!

My sauce is, uh, sewey (soy) sauce.

(interview), You don't - see? That's what I'm saying.

They're overcooked. No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, we're moving. We got this.

We're not fucking moving and yet you haven't got anything. What is that shit?

I'll do it again, chef. I'm sorry, chef.

Look at them. Just touch them. That is disgusting!

(interview) This is my worst nightmare. Fuck!

I cannot believe you done that! What is happening in here?! (points to Susan) She's cooking four risottos, we need two (points to Ja'Nel) and you're bastardising scallops! I'll reduce the menu, I'll pull down the appetisers, pull down the entrées for you to shine!

(interview) Ja'Nel is dronwning at this point. You are dragging the team down.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!!

(interview) I just want to slap her. Ja'Nel, wake up! Come on! You're so much better than this!

Get a grip!

Yes, chef.

(to Ja'Nel) Go get it, chef. You'll get better, chef.

Give me two minutes on those scallops.

We got this. We're good.

"We got this"? Fucking hell. She (Ja'Nel) can't even cook a scallop.

Nedra!

Yes, chef?

Why can't you do the cold? (to Zach) Why did she drop [the pasta] that?

She said she don't need any help.

My worry is the slowness.

(interview) Chef, just watch how to let me fucking do this, I don't need no help!

If I was in the Blue team, I'd have her off the fucking appetisers, I'll put her on the garnish, and someone with a pair of balls could step up and take over that fucking mess! (to the Blue team; goes to Nedra's station) All of you, come here! Just look! Just look at the fucking mess in here! The shit, the disarray, the disorganisation and look, [gets a basket of pasta on Nedra's station] look, look. LOOK AT THE MESS!

YES, CHEF! I'M GOING TO GET IT TOGETHER!