Hell's Kitchen quotes

Jesus. Lisa!

Yes, chef?

Come here! [returns the halibut to the workstation] It's sushi!

I'm sorry, chef.

Hey, madam. What's happening here?!

(interview) It was a mess. I fucked up big time, and really I'm disappointed at myself.

Chef, I've got tables walking out. They've been here two hours, chef.

Fucking hell. Hey, ladies, come here. Hey, all of you, come here. LADIES, Move your fuckin' ass. BORIS!

Yes, chef?

Look out there. Are you kidding me? Tables are leaving. No one's even working together. No one's even caring. You're (Sabrina) bringing me the main courses, bypassing your team. You (Boris) laughed at me earlier, pissing around with your fucking pizzas. And you (Raj), you've just switched off. Where do we go? No one's even caring. FUCK OFF, is that clear?

Yes, chef.

Everything off. Clear down.

That honestly has to be the worst ever opening in Hell's Kitchen. Tonight, we set slow. Congratulation. So far, you're a joke. There's no winning team. Both teams,I want you to go upstairs and nominate two from the men,and two from the ladies. But the good news is, you're spoilt for choice. Now FUCK OFF.

Raj, why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?

Now that I'm more familiar with everything, I'll be able to jump in there and really cook the food correctly.

Aren't you the most experienced chef in here?

Yes.

You've been cooking longer than me!

Yes.

[squirms] Shit!

Sabrina, you are quite frankly the most selfish cook in here.

Believe it or not, you don't know me, and you don't know what I'm capable of, Chef. I made a mistake, I fucked up. Give me an opportunity to prove to you that I can do better, chef, and honestly if it's between us two (her and Lisa)... I mean... I'm...

Yeah, thank you.

She's spent, Chef... you know...I'm young. The world is my oyster. [simultaneously] Just give me...You're spent.

What was that? I'm spent? Spent?

[clarifying] Finished.

Yeah, you're finished.

Are you kidding me?

No, I'm serious.

I will cook circles around you, honey. I may be 48, but believe me, you don't have a chance.

Sabrina, who do you think should go home?

I think that Nona should go home, chef. Her idea of fine dining is fried chicken, chef? She can't cook asparagus. She...snores and it keeps us all awake, and I honestly believe she's good for nothing, chef.

(whispering) That was low.

She's crap, and she can't cook asparagus, but she's not standing in your shoes there. Quite frankly, all four of you (Lisa, Sabrina, Raj and Trev) should go.

Good morning.

Good morning, chef.

Last night's service was memorable, [Red team members turn to Raj, who was breathing loud] for all the wrong reasons. [Gordon hears the breathing as well] Who's breathing? What is that? [Russell points to Raj] Are you okay?

(interview) Raj was breathing a little bit creepy like, [imitates Raj's breathing; same as Jillian]

(interview; also imitates Raj's breathing) And it sounded like a big jerk!

Slow down!

Yes, chef.

Who did the nigiri tuna?

Me, chef! Raj, chef.

Well, now I know it's Raj. (examines sushi piece Russell made) Nice. First tuna, in. [peels back the piece Raj made to show...] No wasabi. Out.

(interview) It's perfect, but...

Yes.

[drum roll; notices no wasabi on Raj's sushi] No!

(interview) ...you left out the wasabi! JACKASS!

On order, four covers away, Table 23, yes? Two risotto, two scallops, entrée one chicken, three rib-eye.

Yes, chef!

[sees Raj turning back without answering] You, come here. You're standing here next to me, I called it out and you just turned your fat arse around. You didn't even acknowledge me.

I'm-I'm here. Yes, chef. What do you need? I'm here.

What do I need? What did I just call out? (Raj doesn't answer) What did I just call out, Raj? I'm talking to you!

(interview) The fact that Raj is 49 and still alive and not in jail or an asylum is a goddamn miracle.

What did I just call out?

I didn't- I didn't catch it.

Oh fuck me. Useless.

Just over half an hour in the dinner service, Raj hasn't even begun cooking but has already disappointed Chef Ramsay.

Curtis! (returns a sushi to the workstation)

Working on it again chef.

Yeah, fuck off. Gentlemen, gentlemen, GENTLEMEN! Look at this! (points to some sushi) Fat fuck, fat fuck, fat fuck. Look at that there. Look at that. Look. Look at-- (to Curtis) come here you! It's not good enough for me. It's not good enough for me!

Yes, chef. Working now chef.

(interview) Sushi's coming back. Seriously, you're not cooking anything.

Do you think that I'm going to fucking send-- you can't even clean the fucking-- fuck off, Curtis! Fuck right off!

It's 90 minutes into dinner service, and food has been ridiculously slow leaving the blue kitchen...

(walking up the stairs to take a table's order) Hello guys.

...but Vinny has a plan to speed things up.

(to the diners) I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you: you guys order sides, you're gonna be here till next Tuesday. (interview) I have zero confidence that Raj is getting out garnishes and sides.

No sides.

Yeah. (Vinny smiles and gives a thumbs-up)

(interview) So I came up with a bit of a clever idea.

(to the same diners that Vinny just waited on) How's the service this evening?

We can't order sides...

Why are you not allowed to order sides?

Because I guess we can get our food quicker if we don't order sides?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Um, let me go speak to the chef about this.

(to Scott) Yeah, just check that. There's no sides on there, I don't know why.

(to Vinny) Come over here! (to Gordon) Chef, one of his tables, he's telling them they could not have side orders because it takes too long to get it out of the kitchen.

What I said was, I'd be happy to bring them to you...

Shut up! Come in here!

That is not what I told them.

Why?

That is NOT what I told them.

What did you tell them?

Exactly what I told them was this: I said "I'm telling you the truth. The sides are delicious, but it's going to take a lot longer if you want sides, so..."

STOP EVERYBODY! Now Captain Vinny here is telling the customers not to order sides! (to Raj) Come here. Did you tell him not to order sides?

Of course not! Why would I say that?

Don't fucking shout at me, fuck-face! You told him that? "Don't push the sides, so I look good."

No, I'm ready with the sides! Look, I got all the sides ready, I'm waiting for them.

So why's he not taking the orders?

I have no idea, but look at these sides, it's all ready! He's- he's- I'm- he's- okay...

Do you want to know the truth?

Yeah, I do want to know the truth!

The truth is, I have no faith that he's going to be able to get the sides out.

You'd better understand one fucking thing! You do NOT decide what goes out this kitchen!

(mumbles) I don't know.

GET OUT.

Yes, chef.

GET OUT, YOU!

(to Melissa) Come here you. [reads a ticket] One salmon, one halibut, one chicken, one beef. Where's the wellington?

Wellington's coming up--

Where's the wellington?

It's not on the window chef.

It's for the next table.

Yes, chef. (interview) I just put up the wrong thing. I can't explain it. It's fucking embarrassing.

You are about to sink your team. Now.

Focus chef.

No, don't focus. Swap places with Jillian. Now fuck off!

Yes, chef. (to the Red team) Guys, I have to go out to the dining room. If you need--.

Get out! Get out! Fuck the explanation! GET OUT!

Men, you lost. Vinny decided that it was a bright idea to tell the customers, "Don't order sides, because the kitchen can't deliver." How dare you? That's my decision, and not yours. None of you are here to kiss my ass, but I expect some FUCKING RESPECT!

Boris, Raj. Step forward. Unbelievable! [brief pause] Wait a second. Somebody else needs to be up here. [another brief pause] Vinny, step forward! [Vinny stands in between Boris and Raj] I am PISSED! You have no right to recommend to the guests not to have a side with an entrée!

After my first table waited nearly two hours for their appetizers, I just wanted them to have an opportunity to experience some of your food. That's what they came here for.

Entrées on that menu are designed to go with sides! Is that clear?

Yes, chef.

Raj, why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?

I should stay in Hell's Kitchen, chef, Because I am being falsely accused and I'm getting more familiar with everything and it's going to be good and it just need a little more time I'm a slow learner.

Yes, chef.

Get a good night's sleep, because seven of you need to fight back. Quickly!

Yes, chef.

Now FUCK OFF!

(interview) The blue team should get used to getting their asses kicked. They're like little dominoes and the red team is gonna knock each one of them out. (laughs)

(interview) I'm there scrambling trying to save my fucking guys' asses and they threw me under not only the bus. They threw me under the train, the plane, the helicopter, and the... fucking buggy.

(interview) I know that the guys in my team are shitting in their pants knowing that Raj is going to destroy them. [gets up and points to the camera] I'M HERE TO STAY, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, 'CAUSE I AM THE BEST! [falls off his interview chair] WHAAAOW! [climbs back up to the chair] HAAA!

[to himself, after everyone has returned to the dorms] God. (voiceover) Curtis might have been a good old boy, but unfortunately, he wasn't good at cooking.

(interview after Raj escaped elimination) I'm more shocked that that lunatic is still here.

(interview) EEEYOW! WOOAAOOAAOOAAOOAAOOH!!! WHOO! ALL RIGHT! Thank you, Lord, thank you, Jesus! WOO! I'M FEELIN' GREAT! Now I'm DEFINITELY going to win this competition now. I know it! (to Vinny) Wheel of karma, baby! You can't get off, these hands are tied.

Raj, Raj, Raj. Please.

You have malice, you know what I mean? I don't have evil designs. I don't lie. I tell the truth!

I didn't lie either.

For you to tell the customers in the dining room not to order food because I'm working it? I mean, that is sick.

(interview) I did not tell those customers "do not order sides." (beat) I highly recommended it. (to Raj) I want to win a restaurant.

Guess what? You ain't.