Josh Wahler quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Rock!

Yes, chef?

Yeah, you can fuck yourself! Look at that there, look at that. There you go. Come on! Oh, fucking hell. Three more scallops in! It takes one minute to sauté the scallops. Is that what we serve in Hell's Kitchen?

Not at all, chef.

We're going from fucking bad to worse, man.

(interview) It just seemed so comical. Rock and Josh aren't doing well.

Scallops, risottos, spaghetti! (to Josh) What's in that basket?

This is one of the pulled--

Why? Just talk to me. Why? Why? Why? [sees that there's already spaghetti in the basket]

Start anew. Start anew.

Oh, fuck me. In your restaurant before you come here, do you cook spaghetti before the customer orders it?

Never, chef.

So why are you doing it here?

It was wrong.

Oh, was it really wrong? Even my mum cooks spaghetti seven minutes before she wants it. Get it in the bin!

Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck. Josh, you're putting more spaghetti in! It's not away!

I heard two spaghetti.

It's the third and fourth table that's right. PUT IT IN THE BIN!

Going in the bin right now chef.

Oh fuck me.

While Julia struggles to get her station under control, Josh continues to test Chef Ramsay's patience.

What the fuck is he doing? [sees more spaghetti in the basket] Wha? More spaghetti in there! [dumps it in the bin]

Sorry.

We cook spaghetti to order!

Yes, chef.

Even the fucking, dirtiest, scummiest Italian restaurant in Venice Beach cooks spaghetti to order, you donkey!

Yes, chef.

I'm just wondering what the fuck you're doing.

I'm here, chef.

You're pushing me to the fucking limit, big boy, yeah?

More than a hour into dinner service, guests are finally getting a taste of Josh's appetizers.

How's everything?

[whispers in JP's ear] It's undercooked.

Oh, my God!

Risotto undercooked, chef.

Sorry?

Under-cooked, chef.

Oh, my God almighty! [tastes the risotto, then spits it out] Ugh! Ugh! Oh, fuck off! Fuck-- (to Josh) come here! Come here! Come here! Come here! Come here, you! What are you doing? Just what the FUCK are you doing? Every table so far, nothing's coming out. You're standing there, you're screwing me, and you're fucking useless. What are you doing?

Sorry, chef.

Yeah, do me a favor.

Yes, chef?

[rips Josh's jacket open] Take that off and FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE! GET OUT! GET OUT! Hey, you! Leave the jacket and GET OUT! GET OUT!

Give me the jacket!

I'm giving you--

Give me the FUCKING jacket! [Gordon takes the jacket from Josh, crumples it up and throws it into the storeroom] Fucking useless sack of SHIT! GET OUT! GET OUT!

[leaving Hell's Kitchen] (interview; imitates a bomb falling and exploding) I would have given my right arm to stay in this service and keep fighting because I came here with a dream to win...and it appears it's over. It appears that Green Valley Ranch is not in my future. Dream's over, guys.

(to Josh right before dinner service) You two need to get it together right fucking now! Don't make any of your stupid fucking things for Rock or I will take you outside and beat the shit out of you! You fuck him over and I'm coming after you! You got it? You got it?

Yes, chef.

You understand me? Look at my eyes, I am coming for you if you fuck him over! You got it?

I will not fuck him over.

(to Vinnie) You too!