Steve McGarrett quotes from Hawaii Five-0

I don't suppose we can just head down to campus and fingerprint all of his students?

Steve

Maybe we can.

How?

Steve

Well, it seems to me that there's now an opening for a new economics professor at OSU, and it just so happens that one of our own minored in business at Seton Hall.

Danny

How could you possibly know that? That's not even in my personnel file.

Steve

You think I'm gonna take you on to be my partner this whole time without doing my homework?

Kono

Wait. Boss, you've been sitting on that for six years?

Grover

That means he's probably got something on all of us.

Jerry

Hey, did you know the Naval Investigative Service kept Musaka under surveillance even after the war was over?

Steve

No, I didn't know that.

Jerry

Check it out. Obviously, they only knew him as Youshi Tamuro, but they considered him a person of interest. Kept tabs on him for years. But the guy was a model citizen, put down roots, even married a local girl-- Olina Hoku. They actually met before Pearl Harbor, but they stayed in touch the entire time he was in the internment camp.

Steve

Wait a minute. She's the reason he changed his mind. Look, Musaka came here for one purpose, and that was to do us harm, right? Then he falls for this girl. And in the end, his love for her outweighed his loyalty to his country.

Jerry

Love's a pretty powerful thing.

Steve

Yes, it is.

Danny

You selfishly punched yourself in the eyeball so that I didn't get to do it. Is that right?

Steve

No. Not even close.

Danny

You know, buddy, if it's something that's, uh, embarrassing, something you don't want to share with us, you know, we understand.

[smirks] Yeah, we totally understand, Steve. The last thing we would want to do is make you uncomfortable.

Kono

Yeah. You can tell us when you're ready, boss.

Steve

[unimpressed] You guys suck at reverse psychology.

Lou

Well, then tell us the damn story, why don't you?

Steve

All right, you all know that I've been trained by the U.S. government to resist interrogation, right?

Danny

That's fine. So we'll just keep taking bad guesses, then.

Steve

What are you s–– I'm not a romantic? Is that what you're saying?

Danny

Buddy.. [clears throat] when I was, um, about 12 years old, I saw, uh, two sea lions mate at the, uh, Turtle Back Zoo in West Orange.

Steve

[grins] Oh, yeah?

Danny

Yeah. And I'm pretty sure that there was more romance in that encounter than any date you've ever had in your entire life.

Sang Min

You must be some lawyer, huh? What, are you going all out for casual Friday?

[looks at Steve] You sure you don't want this guy locked up for life? 'Cause I do.

Steve

He grows on ya. I promise.

Odell

I bet he does. Like a bad fungus. And if this is gonna happen, first thing I'm gonna need to do is cut whatever that thing is growing out of his head...

Sang Min

[stands up, indignantly] You touch my hair, and I'll be going to jail for your murder!!!

Steve

This is gonna work out great. I can feel it.

Sang Min

[teasing] Every king needs his queen and here she is. You know, I didn't realize you cared so much about my safety. I'm, um, I'm deeply touched. You know, I'd feel a lot safer if you were by my side until the trial starts.

Kono

[deadpan] Okay. You know what? I'm glad your lawyer's here, because I'm gonna hit you, and I want proof that it was provoked.

Sang Min

Oh, you know, give me your best shot, Spicy. You know, because it's been a long time since I felt a woman's hands on my body.

Odell

Is he always this creepy?

Kono

Yes.

Steve

Yeah, pretty much the whole time we've known him

Lou

I'm having no fruit on top of pancakes. The only fruit I'm putting on top of my pancakes is coconut.

Steve

Coconut's not a fruit. It's a drupe.

Lou

It's a what?

Steve

A drupe. It's any fruit with an outer skin and pulp in the middle and––

Lou

Oh I remember. I don't care, 'cause I'm eating pancakes and not writing a dissertation.

Lou

If my wife asks you, don't tell I had this stuff. You tell her that I had the diet plate. That's the turkey burger with no bun and a scoop of cottage cheese.

Steve

Why would your wife ask me that question???

Lou

Why the hell would the Red Sox sell Babe Ruth for $5000? I don't know. Don't ask me to explain marriage to you.

McGarrett

[sees the combat suit on Danny's desk] What are you gonna do with a $80 million piece of hardware?

Danny

I'm gonna wear it.

McGarrett

You're gonna wear it?

Danny

Yeah! Because this thing is, you know, completely McGarrett-proof. It's been designed for your partner to wear.

McGarrett

Oh, we're doing that. Still with it? Six years. Since the day I've met you you've been telling me I'm trying to kill you.

Danny

What's your point?

McGarrett

What's my point? My point is it's getting old. You're very much alive! You're very much alive, which means I have your back. I've always had your back.

Catherine Rollins

[final lines of the series] You ready?

Steve McGarrett

Yeah.