Odell quotes from Hawaii Five-0

Odell

[as he is cutting Steve's hair] The barbershop is an important social institution in this country. It's a community gathering place. Oh, my customers-- they come here, they hang out, they talk story. No one's ever in a hurry to leave, and you know why? It's one of the last bastions where a man can truly unplug from the world. You know, even if it's just for a trim and a shave.

Steve

So you're a barber, you're a lawyer, and you're an explosives expert?

Odell

Yeah, my Grandpa Jack was a barber stationed in England during World War II. Uncle Sam liked the boys cleaned up before heading to the front lines. He was assigned to the Combat Demolition Unit. One of his regulars taught him how to make a Molotov Cocktail using hair dye and aftershave. Jack always said, "A piece of knowledge is better than a good tip."

Steve

Good thing you were paying attention, huh?

Odell

There we go. Done. [to Steve, seriously] I'm a pacifist.

Sang Min

You must be some lawyer, huh? What, are you going all out for casual Friday?

[looks at Steve] You sure you don't want this guy locked up for life? 'Cause I do.

Steve

He grows on ya. I promise.

Odell

I bet he does. Like a bad fungus. And if this is gonna happen, first thing I'm gonna need to do is cut whatever that thing is growing out of his head...

Sang Min

[stands up, indignantly] You touch my hair, and I'll be going to jail for your murder!!!

Steve

This is gonna work out great. I can feel it.

Sang Min

[teasing] Every king needs his queen and here she is. You know, I didn't realize you cared so much about my safety. I'm, um, I'm deeply touched. You know, I'd feel a lot safer if you were by my side until the trial starts.

Kono

[deadpan] Okay. You know what? I'm glad your lawyer's here, because I'm gonna hit you, and I want proof that it was provoked.

Sang Min

Oh, you know, give me your best shot, Spicy. You know, because it's been a long time since I felt a woman's hands on my body.

Odell

Is he always this creepy?

Kono

Yes.

Steve

Yeah, pretty much the whole time we've known him