[To Harley Quinn] Where'd you learn to give a speech? You put your thesis statement at the motherfuckin' top.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[The crew discovers that Poison Ivy's biggest fear is... Harley Quinn?]
Oh, shit!
Dear God. We're Empire Strikes Back-ing it!
You're her biggest fear? I did NOT see that coming. That's some M. Night Shyamalama shit!
We didn't do it! We aren't responsible for the tree monsters! I secretly watch NASCAR! I take long showers! I think paper straws are stupid and get too soggy! I was excited for Jazz Fest! [Cries out in agony as the Lasso Of Truth glows] Fine! I was very excited for Jazz Fest!
I know what we need! An idea! ... Anybody got one?
Oy! Bubbeh, it is I, Grandfather Wolf!
Okay. First, that's a male wolf, dressed like an elderly human female. Second, why is your wolf Jewish?
...I took a swing.
Nice save, Jerk-Off League!
That's not our name at all.
[Ivy becomes a giant]
[Gets excited] Thirty dollars if you put me in your pocket! [Everyone stares at him] What? I got a type. You knew this.
You know what? You're really taking the romance out of it when you just call it "my plant control thing".
Uh, I hate to be a downer, but we are completely and utterly screwed. Oh, I wore that well. Umm, maybe I don't hate being a downer. Ooh, maybe I shouldn't feel so much pressure to put a positive spin on things.
All right, everybody, back in the tank. If you need to pee, now's your chance.
People ask me who would win between a wolf and a shark. [Spits out a bone] It's a shark.
Word of advice: don't smell Rapunzel's hair. Ain't no shower in that tower.
[After throwing Harley Quinn into acid] Wait a minute. Did anyone hear a splash? I've fallen in acid enough times to know that there should be a splash.
I work alone.
What about me?
Not now, Jim.
Now I know Batman is just some boring rich asshole with parental issues.
That's really reductive.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Harley Quinn pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.