You know that I love a Penny pile-on as much as the next slut but that was a massive fall and we should all thank our lucky stars that Penny made it out unscathed.
Uh friendos...I did not make it out unscathed. I am extremely scathed!
S3 E1Cazsh Dummy Spillionaires
Trust us, the last thing we want is for things to get complicated like in It’s Complicated so we’re just gonna go with it, like in Just Go with It and just be friends with benefits like in No Strings Attached!
S3 E2Sabado Free-Gante
Are we gonna see any other Jackson Fives tonight? Yep. Are we gonna see any marionettes? Mos’ def. Are we gonna see any “Mos Def”s? I wouldn’t know it if we saw it.
I miss time of the month club the most. Don’t worry it’s not what you think! It’s a clock. That tells you when you’re going to get your period.
S3 E7No-Ho-Ho
[After Brad's suggestion to postpone Christmas in favour of celebrating Janemas] What's Janemas?
You're going to do everything you would normally do on your July birthday. I'm going to take you shopping, we're going to get our nails did, and then we're going to throw you the best birthday party ever.
JJan
Guys, I really appreciate what you're trying to do okay, but you can't shut Christmas out. It's unstoppable.
Oh, we're stopping it, missy, today. Alex is going to keep her weird present opening fetish under wraps, no pun intended.
I don't get it anyway.
And Max is going to be eggnostic for the day, pun intended.
I'm not saying there is eggnog, I'm not saying there's not eggnog, what I'm saying is, there's no way to know for sure.
I really don't get that one.
There is going to be zero evidence of Christmas on your birthday.
Recycle? What is this, Portland?
S3 E9Ordinary Extraordinary Love
OK, let's do this. What's my gay category?
DDerrick
OK, you're a twink, but I've seen you eat so you're a sloppy twink, which is not as much fun as it sounds. Penny, you drink a lot, you are really loud and you have a lot of embarrassing stories about dating. Bitch, you are a hag.
But I used to be a beard so I take that as a win.
I thought I was a hag.
DDerrick
No, you're a top, plain and simple.
Damn right I am.
Oh, I know what I am. I'm a scruffy power bottom because I have a goatee and I do lots of glute exercises.
DDerrick
Your reasoning is wrong but your conclusion is correct.
Do me, do me.
DDerrick
Oh, would that I could. Would that I freaking could.
S3 E11The Ex Factor
[takes out a wad of cash] Anyway, don't worry about the check, guys. I got this one.
What? Whoa.
I have a little bit of disposable income these days.
Max, you cannot have disposable income when you owe us 11,000 dollars and three cats.
You'll get those cats when you get those cats, Jane. And the reason I have all this extra casheesh is because my new roommate decided to pay me five months' rent in advance.
Ah yes, el nuevo roommate. When are we going to meet this guy?
Oh no, you won't. I told that guy that we are going to live totally separate lives. I will not make the same mistake I made with my last roommate and get all invested in his personal business.
That was me.
Yeah, and I will not make that blunder again.
S3 E12The Marry Prankster
We can prank him, beat him at his own game. We'll give him a shot of pre-vengeance, with a dose of pre-taliation, and finish him off with a load of pre-come-uppance.
S3 E13Our Best Friend's Wedding
My only previous interracial relationship was with a Basque, but it ended 'cause, for a separatist, he was quite clingy.
Welp. You know what they say, it's not a good gang hang until someone takes a major shot to the face.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Happy Endings pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.