You're not dating Hannah, you're dating Miley! You can't get caught cheating on me with me!
Huh?
Keep up, movie star. Ain't rocket science.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Lilly why do you read that tabloid trash, it's nothing but lies...
[reading tabloid] Hannah Montana looks fabulous...
...with the occasional glimmer of truth.
You didn't let me finish. [reading tabloid] ...too bad she's really a guy!
You have got to be kidding me!
I can't believe you didn't tell me! [gasps] You slept over my house! [gasps] You borrowed my bras!
Hey I look good in a mustache. Oh yeah, I would totally date me.
Me too.
[share weird look]
MLMiley and Lilly
[in unison] Awkward!
Oh oh.
Let me guess, it's another article about Jake Ryan isn't it.
It says his movie is done and he's back in town for the premiere.
Big whack, I don't need some guy who kisses me knowing that he's about to leave for 6 months and do some stupid movie.
Jake could fall out of the sky wearing a tuxedo and I wouldn't care.
[Jake falls from the sky in a parachute and a tuxedo.]
Um, Miley?
I'm serious. He could come down, giving me a dozen roses and it would make no difference. Zero! Zilch! El zippo!
What if he got on his knees and begged you to take him back?
Like that's ever gonna happen.
[Lilly points to Jake and Miley turns around and sees him.]
Sorry it's only one rose, but I did bring chocolates.
[Chocolates fall from the sky into his hand.]
Not just chocolates. chocolates from the sky!
Jake, I don't know what to say, so I guess I'll just show you how I feel! (Pours her smoothie on him)
(Grabs the chocolates and walks away) Thank you!
Thanks! Another basket from Jake. What a surprise!
I agree Mile, you either date this boy Jake, or tell him to send a work-out tape, cuz I'm one muffin away from my easy fit jeans
I got two words for yeh, Will power
I got two words for you, Mini jellys. Mhh I am so weak.
Look who was waiting in the drive way.(Holding a cardboard cutout of jake) You can almost hear him say: Miley take me back, give me one more chance!
Oh, I'll give you something.
Not the chocolate chip ones, use the bran, nobody eats those.
Oh my dad does, he calls them nature's broom. Uh, peanut butter balls.
Hello! Guys, this jerk hurt me and he's not gonna win me back with peanut butter balls.
Ok, you're right darling. I'm getting rid of everything. Mhh and I'll start by grilling up these perfect marinade T-bones.
Medium rare please.
Got it.
Come on Miley, the poor guy has done just about everything , what else can he do?
You're never gonna stop are you.
Miley, You've dumped stuff on me, and you've yelled at me, the one thing you haven't done is tell me that you don't care about me, tell me that and I'll go away.
No, you can't, he's so and you, I mean, come on.
I know I kissed you then left and I'm sorry, but I never stopped thinking about you.
Oh he never stopped and now I mean come on. I'll just go help with the steaks.
You do that.
(Talking to the cardboard cutout of Jake)Come on Jake'rs
Ok, I never stopped thinking about you either.
Then you'll give me another chance?
How about we start with tonight?
Uh, Slight problem, tonight's my movie premiere.
Oh, That's ok, I mean, it's a little more public than I wanted but eh.
No no no no, eh, see the thing is.
You already have a date don't you.
It's not a real date ok, it's with my co-star ok, we just have to pretend that we're dating for the press, you know.. A kiss or too, but it doesn't mean anything.
Nothing you say ever means anything. You're the same jerk you were six months ago, only now, you're a jerk with a headache.
I don't have a... Oh no.
(Hits him with his shield) Oh yes!
NNatasha
I'm so hot.
Yes you are.
NNatasha
Can I get a bottle of water?
Yes you are. I mean yes you can.
(she gives him 1 dollar)
Oh sorry, Rico just tripled his price to 3 bucks.
NNatasha
But that's all I have, and as I said before I am so, so hot.
Don't go anywhere. (Pours ice down his shirt) Ok, takin care of me now you, you can have the employee discount.
Muahahaha. You're fired.
What are you talking about?
Nice work Natasha, go buy yourself something pretty.
(following Natasha) No, wait wait, come back.
You ripped me off.
Me? You're the one ripping people off. Three bucks for a bottle of water, that's stealing
That's America. You wanna give stuff away, open you own shack, you can call it IHOF International House of Failure.
Oh, Well maybe I will. but instead I'll call it International House of Reasonably priced water, and fries and stuff.. IHORPWAFAS. Yeah, hear the name and tremble Rico IHORPWAFAS!
Brian Winters I'm Brian Winters and the stars are all up for the premiere of Teen Gladiator and the sword of fire. And here are the Teen Gladiators Jake Ryan and Marrissa Hughes, coming over to talk to me, Brian Winters. So Jake I don't know what's bigger, the buzz about this movie, or the buzz about you two.
Oh well thanks Brian, We're both really exited about this movie aren't we honey?
MMarrissa
We sure are Jakey.
We sure are Jakey. Look at her draped over him like drapes, cheap cligy drapes. It's disgusting.
It sure is.
How can you guys keep eating that stuff? That's Jake's steak. It's the steak that he drove through my heart.
The good news is it cuts like butter.
Dad!!
I'm sorry darlin' but you're better off without him. I mean, if he's gonna choose her over you, he obviously has no taste.
Except in meat; this filet is fantastic!
[referring to Jake] And when you told him you were Hannah he didn't faint? Not once?
Nope, steady as a rock, all man.
Well, so am I, I just hadn't eaten that day
I'm a nobody. Like Oliver!
Brilliant! ...Hey!
(trying to make up when the kids are starting to suspect Hannah for being a lier) Superman doesn't tell Lois Lane he's Clark Kent, but, that doesn't mean he doesn't love her.
BBoy
Superman's a liar? (kids gasp)
Never mind, he isn't real.
BBoy
(in shock) Superman isn't real? (kids gasp)
Wait! Ummm... how many of your parents ever told you you'd grow up to be president? (all kids, including Hannah, raise their hands) There! Now see not all of you are gonna be president. Odds are, none of you will be president! (all kids in room, excluding Hannah, burst into tears) Errr... who wants free CDs? Free CDs, people. C'mon!
Jake Ryan doesn't faint. Leslie, on the other hand, is a little woozy.
I'm the man who had the cheese!
I'm the man who had the jerky!
We put 'em both together!
And dude, it really work-y!
BBoth
Cheese Jerky! Say what? [J] Say what? [O] (twice)
Mozzarella moose, Swiss salmon, Gouda turkey!
Just one taste, it'll drive you berserk-y!
BBoth
Cheese Jerky! Say what? [J] Say what? [O]
And it's all freaky-freaky-freaky fresh! (End of rap)
Sizzlin' Stewart and Smokin' Oken Enterprises, patent pending.
I wish for an A on the project. What do you wish for?
Oh man, I wish... I wish there was no secret. I was just Hannah Montana all the time. Sure would make life a whole lot easier.
Oh okay, I have an idea. You do all the work and I'll hang out with Jesse. Toodles!
LLola
I got a better idea. You give me the Hannah wig and I'll hang out with Jesse. Toodles!
I don't think he speaks "eeeeep!"
JJesse
Hey babe. [comes in and kisses Hannah on cheek]
JJesse
You ready for our picnic on Papoui?
What in the world is Papoui?
JJesse
[smile] The island I bought you.
AHHH! Oh my gosh! [to Roxy] Jesse McCartney bought me an island. [Gasps] [to Jesse] I'm... I'm sorry Jesse, I can't.
JJesse
Why not?
I'm sort of dealing with something right now, so...
JJesse
You're so cute when you're dealing with something right now.
That's sweet Jesse, but I... I think I need to be alone.
JJesse
You're so cute when you need to be alone.
Jesse?
JJesse
You're so cute when you say Jesse.
Get Out! [pushes him out the door]
JJesse
You're so cute when you kick me out.
I'm serious! [closes door]
JJesse
Ow! [gets hit on the nose] Still so cute.
JJesse
I'd sing to you myself but I need these lips for something else.
Eeeeeep!
JJesse
You're so cute when you say "eep!"
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hannah Montana pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.