Grounded for Life · Season 4
Eddie (to Sean): Why is there a plastic angel covered with blood on the sidewalk?
It's not covered with blood. It's just got droplets of blood on it.
Oh. Why is there a plastic angel with droplets of blood on it on the sidewalk?
It fell off the roof.
And it started bleeding?
No, it hit Brad O'Keefe in the nose.
Brad (to Lily): Your dad's gonna kill me!
Well, maybe if you hadn't told your dad, none of this would've happened!
I didn't mean to, it just slipped out! He was giving me a driving lesson and it wasn't going well.
Is that when you almost ran over the dog?
Yeah. And my dad said I was such an idiot and even if I ever did get a girlfriend, I'd probably run over her dog, too, so I... just told him.
And?
And then he got all misty on me so I gave him a hug and he took me to Macy's and bought me some pants. My father has never bought me pants before!
Sean (to Dan): What the hell do you think this dinner's about? We didn't invite you over to play Boggle!
I'd kick your ass in Boggle!
Oh, well, bring it on, pal!
I'm not gonna sit here while you play Boggle with the tramp's father.
Mom! Lily is not a tramp. She waited all year to sleep with her boyfriend and then at the last minute, she slept with me instead!
BRAD!!!
I'm gonna kill you!
What'd I do?
You're a degenerate scumbag!
Could you be more specific?
You and Claudia, and the kids were outta town. It seemed a shame to let a perfectly good porn set go to waste.
It's not a porno set. It's our house!
You've gotta let her know you learned something from this.
Yeah... So what'd I learn?
Not to shoot porno in our house!!
I learned something.
Oh, really? What did you learn?
That what I did was wrong. And to respect you. And respect your house. And respect that you got a thing about people shooting porn in it.
Great now Uncle Eddie isn't allowed over. Now I'm gonna have a porno birthday!
Hey, Brad, how's it going?
It's going great... MOTHER LOVER!
[Two girls are talking and Jimmy interrupts]
I know!
You know what?
You know, what you were just talking about...
You've kissed a guy with a mustache?
Here's the pinata.
That's not a gray alien.
It's the only kind they had.
It's the only kind the government wants you to have.
Fruit! Is this some kind of sick joke?!
(After Brad continues to beat the piñata even though it's on the ground and broken open) Don't hurt the candy!
Dad can you drive me and Brad to the mall?
No
I'll drive you.
You don't have to work tonight, Grandpa?
No, these guys just canned my ass.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Grounded for Life pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
