Lily quotes from Grounded for Life

Lily

Oh, great. The only uniform I get to wear is a Catholic school uniform. What guys is gonna like that?

Lily

[to Sean] Your condom machine's broken.

Lily

Why don't you just knock me up in high school like my dad did to my mom?!

Hey, Lily, this is weird, you're online.

Lily

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are. Your screen name just popped up on my buddy list, see?

Lily

No way! Uh, somebody signed on with my name!

No!

Lily

Yes! Send them an instant message. "Lily, what are you doing?"

They're not answering.

Lily

Type "Are you there?" This is so freaking me out!

Totally!

Yes, just hanging around, you know, just keeping it fresh?

Lily

[furious] Oh, my God. It's my dad.

How do you know?

Lily

It's him.

How's it goin' Mr. Finnerty?

Sean

Ah, you know, keepin' it fresh.

Lily

Did he really say keeping it fresh?

Claudia

[shaking head] I'll talk to him.

Should we sign off?

Lily

No, move over.

Sean

Hey, Lily, you liked the Ramones, didn't you?

Lily

Well, the music was good, but I kept worrying they were gonna die.

Lily

You have literally pushed me off a cliff! You have literally pushed me to my death! I am literally dying. I am literally dead from embarrassment because of you!

Sean

Lily, you really need to look up the definition of the word 'literally'.

Lily

I am literally going insane!

Sean

Alright! Good usage!

Lily

You buy stuff for Jimmy and Henry all the time. How many freaking Pokemon are there?

Sean

A hundred and fifty five. Can you hand me the socket wrench?

Lily

Get Pikachu to hand it to you.

Sean

Sure. Go for the obvious one!

Lily

(to Eddie about the No Doubt tickets) How did you get them?

Eddie

I know a guy.

Lily

You always know a guy. How many guys do you know?

Eddie

I know about 75 guys.

Lily

Eddie got me 4 tickets to the No Doubt concert.

Claudia

Oh, that's great.

Lily

No, you don't understand. It's amazing! It's totally sold out and it's in a tiny club. It'll be like they're in our house.

Claudia

That is amazing!

Lily

No, you don't understand. It's incredible. It's a benefit concert, only 300 people will be there, and me & my friends will be 4 of them.

Claudia

It's incredible!

Lily

No! It's genius!

Claudia

I know!

Lily

Oh forget it, you'll never understand.

Lily

I just found out I'm a bastard.

Don't worry, Dad says his boss is too.

Lily

This is why I don't tell you things, cuz you over react!

Sean

I am not over-reacting. The appropriate reaction would be to swing you around by your hair!

Lily

Yeah! Well...I read somewhere that compulsive shopping was a disease!

Sean

Cholera is a disease. Compulsive shopping is something a 16 year-old does when she wants to look cute for a party and someone gives her a credit card.