A character in Grounded for Life
Played by Richard Riehle
Grounded for Life · 96 quotes
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in Grounded for Life: in 14 of its 96 quotes
Most scenes with: Sean (6), Eddie (3), Claudia (3)
Lily (explaining why she got her tongue pierced): They were making fun of me. I had to make myself cool again.
WaltWell, why stop with your tongue? Put a bolt through your neck, you'll be queen of the prom.
WaltHow come I never got one of those tomatoes?
WaltBack in my day we used to play Cowboys and Indians. Of course that was when you were allowed to say Indian. You can't say Indian anymore.
I'm not allowed to say bite me.
Hey! Watch your Mouth!
Bite me, Indian!
How do two fourteen year old girls even get from Staten Island to the middle of New Jersey?
WaltWell, if their fathers have achieved a basic level of competence, they don't get there.
Dad, I don't need your help.
WaltNo, of course not, just let it play out. At some point, the state'll intervene.
Walt(about Eddie fabricating his death) Wait, was this about four months ago?
Uh-huh.
WaltCause people kept coming up to me and saying they felt sorry for me, but I thought they just meant in general.
Claudia (to Walt): Walt, what are you eating?
WaltFruit Roll-up. They're not bad.
Those are edible panties.
WaltWhat? Oh dear God! I've got to go to church. (leaves the house)
Walt, why are my children on a chain gang?
WaltI am teaching these boys how to dig a hole
Why?
WaltA good hole can serve a boy in a lot of ways. It helps them focus, lets them sweat, and makes them appreciate a warm bed at night.
How much is there to teach about a hole?
WaltThat's the kind of attitude that leads to substandard holes.
Walt (to Brad): We're just gonna go have a little sit-down with your old man.
He's gonna kick my ass!
WaltThat salad shooter? He doesn't have the stones.
I don't know what that means.
WaltI'll explain it to you on the way out.
Walt (to Sean): You gotta learn to control your frustrations.
This from the man who spent half his life screaming at appliances.
WaltI was hoping for more from you.
(When Walt pours some Apple Cider for himself and Henry)
This tastes funny.
WaltWhoa! This cider's turned
Turned into what?
WaltInto grown up cider.
I don't like it.
WaltWell, that's good because we have a family history of liking it.
I don't want Henry thinking "sexuality" is a dirty word.
WaltWhat are you talking about? It is the mother of all dirty words. All the other dirty words come from it.
I can think of one that doesn't. Oh no, that links up too.
Dad can you drive me and Brad to the mall?
No
WaltI'll drive you.
You don't have to work tonight, Grandpa?
WaltNo, these guys just canned my ass.
Is this seat taken?
WaltNo Ma'am!
(Laughing, hugging and kissing)
(to Claudia and Sean) See this kinda thing might have tipped us off.
WaltHey, son, that seat's saved.
For who?
WaltSomebody asked me to save a seat.
You're saving a seat for a stranger?
WaltI'm saving a seat for my girlfriend, ok? Wow! The ads in this program are in color!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Grounded for Life pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
