A character in Grounded for Life
Played by Megyn Price
Grounded for Life · 96 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Grounded for Life: in 27 of its 96 quotes
Most scenes with: Sean (18), Eddie (6), Henry (3)
Sean (to Claudia): Why do you keep your bridesmaid dresses?
ClaudiaThey're expensive!
Well, so is pot!
ClaudiaYes, but I'm not worried the kids are going to find them.
Aren't you forgetting something?
(Flashback to Henry bouncing on a bed in a dress)
I'm a lady! (blows a kiss)
Claudia (to Sean): Be careful!
Oh, thank you! That's the one thing I forgot, to be careful with a saw thirty feet up in the air.
ClaudiaYou're welcome. When you go to the hospital, make sure you bring your arm.
ClaudiaYour dad is gonna freak when he sees his car....Th-th-that car reeks.
Yeah, my dad works in a dump, if he had a sense of smell, he'd be dead by now.
ClaudiaSean, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, go to hell.
That is not the expression!
ClaudiaI'm gonna kill you!
What'd I do?
ClaudiaYou're a degenerate scumbag!
Could you be more specific?
I learned something.
ClaudiaOh, really? What did you learn?
That what I did was wrong. And to respect you. And respect your house. And respect that you got a thing about people shooting porn in it.
ClaudiaI'm naming this baby Ass Jr.
You always say that.
ClaudiaWe talked, you know, on the phone, about that thing with Jimmy and your daughter.
He stalked her relentlessly for a month.
ClaudiaHe's at that age.
Hey babe, I wrote a letter to the Home Owner's Association. Could you read it and tell me what you think?
ClaudiaSure... (Reading letter) "I, Claudia Finnerty, am a lying sack of lying lies... P.S. I am also crazy."
ClaudiaYou tricked all those people in to coming to my baby shower, so you could unload your failing bar on a crazy woman?
Yea, I would have tricked your friends too, if they where around.
Claudia(on phone in hospital bed) Yeah, Mom, she's seven pounds, six ounces. Oh yeah she's very cute. No I can't put her on the phone. First of all because she's one hour old. Second of all the nurses took her for some tests. (Sean walks in) Hey, listen, Sean's back so um tell Dad I love him.
Hey babe.
ClaudiaHey!
Hey babe, I brought some balloons for the baby.
Hey great she'll love them.
ClaudiaHow can our daughter be graduating from High School, huh? We're too young for this. It seems like we just graduated from this place remember?
Oh yeah, I remember. You were pregnant with Lily and you wanted me dead.
ClaudiaWell you knocked me up for Lily's graduation too. Sort of a poetry to that, don't you think?
Maybe a dirty limerick.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Grounded for Life pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
