Eddie quotes from Grounded for Life

Yeah.

Eddie

Why are you so into "Satin"?

It says "Satan."

Eddie

You don't win the spelling bees, do you?

Eddie

Hey! I was in the ScienceNauts!

Sean

Oh yea, I remember.

Sean

It's not covered with blood. It's just got droplets of blood on it.

Eddie

Oh. Why is there a plastic angel with droplets of blood on it on the sidewalk?

Sean

It fell off the roof.

Eddie

And it started bleeding?

Sean

No, it hit Brad O'Keefe in the nose.

Claudia

I'm gonna kill you!

Eddie

What'd I do?

Claudia

You're a degenerate scumbag!

Eddie

Could you be more specific?

Eddie

You and Claudia, and the kids were outta town. It seemed a shame to let a perfectly good porn set go to waste.

Sean

It's not a porno set. It's our house!

Sean

You've gotta let her know you learned something from this.

Eddie

Yeah... So what'd I learn?

Sean

Not to shoot porno in our house!!

Eddie

I learned something.

Claudia

Oh, really? What did you learn?

Eddie

That what I did was wrong. And to respect you. And respect your house. And respect that you got a thing about people shooting porn in it.

Eddie

Hey, Brad, how's it going?

Brad

It's going great... MOTHER LOVER!

Eddie

Look at that man I told you, you touched somebody.

Jimmy

Yep, and I'm gonna touch her again on Friday.

Eddie

(about what to give Lily) You can't go wrong with apparel.

Brad

That's what I was thinking. What if I, What if I printed my picture on a sweat shirt?

Eddie

I'm talking about nice apparel, a nightgown or underwear.

Brad

I could put my picture on some underwear!!

Eddie

Got it. So if you're not smoking pot, why were you laughing at The Teletubbies?

Jimmy

(laughing slightly) Oh, Dipsy tripped over Po and landed in the flower garden.

Is this seat taken?

Walt

No Ma'am!

Eddie

(to Claudia and Sean) See this kinda thing might have tipped us off.

Walt

Hey, son, that seat's saved.

Eddie

For who?

Walt

Somebody asked me to save a seat.

Eddie

You're saving a seat for a stranger?

Walt

I'm saving a seat for my girlfriend, ok? Wow! The ads in this program are in color!