Harriet Schulenburg quotes from Green Wing

Harriet

I tell you what you could do, Karen. In the second line: coped—copèd. "I know how not I copèd." No. A bit florid perhaps.

Harriet

Ooh, this one.

Karen

That's more Rachel. It's not really Joanna.

Harriet

We can put a candle on each nipple. I’ve always wanted to do that. Either that or run away and join the circus.

Now... Robbie. Is there any history of mental illness in the family?

Harriet

No.

Are you sure?

Harriet

Yeah, I think so.

You know about the penguin with the chainsaw?

Harriet

Yes. Oh, but every child has an imaginary friend.

Are there any major problems at home?

Harriet

Erm... He does like to eat bread straight from the freezer. "Bread lollies," he calls them. But we thought that was kind of sweet.

Harriet

Oh, sorry I’m late. The kids.

Kim

Took forever to get ready?

Harriet

Yeah, and the traffic.

Terrible?

Harriet

Wasn’t it. Then I had to stop off at… [She opens her bag, and a cat comes out of it.] Oh. Well who did I leave at the vets then?