You're a half-wit, coming out when called a stalker! Does that mean you admit you're a stalker?
That's right, I'm a stalker of justice, and love is my quarry!
[holding Gintoki's arm lovingly] He's my fiancé. I'm getting married to him in the fall.
Is that so?
We've already done this and that together, so give up on me.
This, that, and the other thing??
Well, they haven't done that other thing...
[Otae, Shinpachi, and Kagura are talking about Gintoki's duel with Kondo]
Don't worry. If Gin-chan gets in trouble [cocks umbrella] I'll let him [Kondo] have it with my umbrella!
Just don't kill him.
Then the guardians of Edo, the Shinsengumi, arrived. Arrived! Arri...Now?! You're arriving now?!!
[Talking about the drunken man]
Hijikata-san, can I cut him?
Well, wait a bit. The cameras are rolling so wait until he turns violent.
[The drunk man vomits on Hijikata]
You! There's vomit on my pants! What're you gonna do about it?
SShinsengumi
Come on, everyone! Stop Hijikata-san!
You ingrates! Let me go! I'm gonna cut his fucking heart out and eat it while it's still bleeding!
SShinsengumi
Help us hold him down! The camera's rolling! Come on, don't shoot this! [one covers the camera]
[People have gathered to watch Kondo and Gintoki's duel]
Snacks? Crackers, anyone?
Anyone want some cola?
Idiot. I'm not going to run for small fry like you.
Finally. You're late! Were you getting your hair dyed or something?
A hero never dyes his hair! I needed sugar!
I never heard of a hero who needs a sugar rush to fight.
How nice...it's sunset. Duels should be fought in the evening.
You've got a silver tongue, for a silver-headed perm boy.
You're pretty articulate yourself, for a gorilla.
I'm not a gorilla! I may look like a gorilla, but I'm not!
I'm sorry, but I'm not the kind of guy who'd take a man's life just to settle a score. I'll risk mine instead.
[to Gintoki] You're a good man. No, you're an honorable man. Kid, lend me your bokuto.
You're a good man too. Use that, my pride and joy, the Touya-ko.
[to Kondo] You're so naive. Soooo naive...to think that an enemy would give you his weapon. I fixed it earlier so that it'd break if you so much as swung it around.
It would be stupid for anyone to lose anything over a matter like this. This was the best way to settle it painlessly.
[on the ground, beaten up] This is painless?
All right then. Let's go you guys...
[strangling Gintoki from behind] I misjudged you! I thought you were an honorable samurai!
[kicking Gintoki] Are you proud of yourself, you damn dirty cheat?!
Come on, I protected your sister. Don't be like..
I'm going home. Don't ever show your face to me again!
I'm taking a leave of absence!
Painless, eh? Well, it looks like Gin-san's the one in the most pain, in the end...
This is really the worst pain ever...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gin Tama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.