Paris and Rory in “Those Are Strings, Pinocchio”

Paris

Relax, I'm okay with you making valedictorian over me.

Rory

Oh, good, thanks.

Paris

Sure. I actually googled the personal histories of Ivy League valedictorians going back twenty-five years, and found some enlightening statistics. They don't necessarily do too well in later life, did you know that?

Rory

No.

Paris

Oh, yeah. A lot of business failures, crumbled marriages, suicides, obesity.

Rory

Okay.

Paris

A bunch died in car crashes, several did time, one suffocated when his cat fell asleep on his face.