DWDuke Williams
[looking at Mary Ann and Ginger] I like 'em little, and I like 'em big. Man, this is smorgasbord time!
S1 E21Big Man on a Little Stick
S1 E25The Matchmaker
[after Gilligan has spilled soup on him for a second time] Why me, Professor? Why always me?
This is your moment of truth, little buddy. Please don't spill the soup on the Howells.
Be of good cheer, Skipper. For I will... [picks up the tray of soup bowls] ...not spill the soup.
S1 E26Music Hath Charms
[seeing Gilligan playing a drum] Oh, Gilligan, I am hungry for music!
[pausing] Would you like a drumstick?
S1 E27New Neighbor Sam
SPSam, the Parrot
Sam wants a cracker. Sam wants a cracker.
Gilligan, your parrot would like another cracker.
I've already given him fifteen crackers.
Gilligan?
[Gilligan reluctantly gets out of his hammock, goes over and tosses another cracker in Sam's cage, then goes to get back in his hammock]
Gilligan, as soon as you get back in your hammock, he's gonna want another cracker. Why don't you give him the whole box so we can both get some sleep.
[Gilligan nods, then goes back and throws the rest of the crackers in the box into Sam's cage, then returns to his hammock]
There. That oughta do it.
Yeah. Couldn't imagine what he'd want now.
[Puts his hat over his face]
SPSam, the Parrot
Sam wants a drink of water. Sam wants...
S1 E28They're Off and Running
Well, we all go through this sort of thing once in a while, Skipper. We don't appreciate what we've got until we lose it.
S1 E32Physical Fatness
There's a table in this Navy manual that tells me how much I should weigh.
Maybe it's under "tonnage".
Gilligan, my boy, I've prepared a dish to titillate even your unsophisticated palate. Behold, la spécialité de la maison.
What is it? It smells like fish stew.
Fish stew? It's a world-famous French recipe -- bouillabaisse.
It sure smells like fish stew!
No, no, no, no, no, it's not fish stew; it's bouillabaisse!
What does bouillabaisse mean in English?
Errr -- fish stew.
S1 E35My Fair Gilligan
[At the end of the dream sequence, Gilligan took off his crown, placed it in front of his feet and is shown stomping on it to destroy it] I don't wanna be king! I don't wanna be king! I don't wanna be king!
S1 E36A Nose by Any Other Name
[Up in the coconut tree, mocking the Skipper as he looks for coconuts] Gilligan, do this. Gilligan, do that. Gilligan, go here. Gilligan, go there. Gilligan get this, Gilligan get that. Boy I'd have a life of leisure if only my name weren't Gilligan. The Skipper wants me to get six more? Maybe I won't get him six! [Dejected] Okay I'll get him six. [Looks off to his left] Oh, there's six. [Starts reaching for it] C'mon baby. [Starts slipping] Uh-oh. [Falls out of tree] HELLLLLP! [Thud]
S2 E1Gilligan's Mother-in-Law
[comes out in a grass skirt for the party with the natives] Well, Gilligan... How do I look?
Like a bowl of soggy shredded wheat.
Well, Gilligan... Since we're passing around the comments... I've seen whisk brooms that look better than you.
Ha ha.
[Native Warrior says something unintelligible to Gilligan]
What's he saying, Professor?
[Native Warrior calls to Professor]
Oh, he just said you first have to pass the Best Man Test.
Best Man Test? What's that?
[Native Warrior holds up six fingers and mimes blowing a small dart]
Poison darts at six paces!
[stands up in boat] Poison darts at six paces?
[leaps overboard, swims ashore, and runs away]
S2 E2Beauty Is as Beauty Does
[while judging the beauty contest] Mr. Howell, are you trying to influence me?
Oh, no, cherish the thought.
S2 E3The Little Dictator
[dream sequence: Gilligan is the ruler of a small country. The Skipper is Secretary of the Navy]
How's my Navy holding up?
Well since you brought it up sir, why don't you come to the window and see for yourself?
RRodriguez
Again?
[Gilligan looks out of window. Stock footage of burning sinking ship rolls]
RRodriguez
Propaganda! Vicious Propaganda!
Are you doing something about that?
Yes sir, we are! We're teaching our sailors how to SWIM!
Good!
And the people on shore are learning mouth-to-mouth resuscitation - without becoming emotionally involved!
RRodriguez
How can you do that?
It ain't easy!
- "This window must face west!"
S2 E4Smile, You're on Mars Camera
There's a space up there, there's a space down there and THERE'S A SPACE BETWEEN YOUR EARS!
- "What are you doing back there, Gilligan? When the camera goes on, they won't be able to see you!"
- "That's what I had in mind"
- "What do you mean?"
- "Well, if I stand in front, the whole world will see me, and if the whole world sees me, that means the United States will see me, and if the United States sees me, that means my hometown will see me, and if my hometown sees me, that means my brother will see me, and if my brother sees me, he'll punch me because I'm wearing his shirt."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilligan's Island pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.