Roz Doyle quotes from Frasier

Gil

And so tonight a sad adieu to the grande dame of Seattle restaurants.

Roz

(aside to Frasier) I thought he was the grande dame of Seattle restaurants

Roz

Well, when I'm handing out baloney sandwiches this weekend at the homeless shelter, it will do my heart good to know that a bunch of wealthy men are swishing two-hundred-dollar bottles of wine and spitting it into silver buckets!

Frasier

[sheepish] It's not like we don't recycle the bottles.

Bulldog

Hey Roz, you know what's over my head?

Roz

Almost any clever remark?

Bulldog

[to Gil] What's she mean by that?

Frasier

I, for one, happen to believe in the kindness of strangers.

Roz

Well, I believe in the strangeness of strangers.

Frasier

Roz, it is a wonderful day. You know, I think the entire city of Seattle is convinced it’s springtime. I was walking down the street, I passed a pet store, and in the window I could see two snakes doing a mating dance.

Roz

If you ask me, celebrating a dance that brings more snakes into the world is like toasting a law school graduation.

Roz

Frasier, why didn't you tell me it was your birthday? I'd have thrown you a birthday party at the station.

Frasier

(through his teeth) Question asked, question answered.

Roz

You spend money like a drunken sailor.

Niles

She said authoritatively.

Frasier

Well, do you want me to answer as a friend, or a therapist?

Roz

As a friend.

Frasier

See a therapist.

Niles

Are you quite finished undressing him with your eyes?

Roz

Oh, please. I'm already looking for my stockings and trying to remember where I parked my car.

Roz

Well, why don't you go up and introduce yourself?

Niles

I can't just walk up to a god like that.

Roz

Well, then, find a subtler way.

Niles

In your vernacular that would be what? To slingshot your panties across the street?

Roz

Now, Daphne, if the jewellery wasn't that good and the sex wasn't that good, what have you really lost here?

Frasier

Dr. Roz wades in with the Gabor approach to therapy!

Roz

If somebody wants a garbage disposal, they'll bug you day and night, they'll leave kitchen scraps in your mailbox until they get what they want.

Frasier

Have you served on a condo board?

Roz

No, but I have a brand new garbage disposal.

Roz

It's not like she [Bebe] worships the Devil.

Frasier

She doesn't have to. He worships her!

Roz

"There's someone outside that window!"

Frasier

"Why, yes, Ms. Thorndyke, it appears to be"...[cues organ music, but calliope music plays instead]... the ice cream truck!

Roz

Well, I think hugging is very healthy. I read somewhere that if you have physical contact on a regular basis, it can actually extend your life.

Frasier

Well, in that case you should outlive Styrofoam!