Frasier Crane quotes from Frasier

Roz

Come on, Frasier, talk to me. Use your words.

Frasier

It's just so egregious!

Roz

Smaller words.

Niles

Why do you have to make everything so difficult?

Frasier

Excuse me, Niles, but I’ve got news for you: Copernicus called, and you are not the center of the universe!

I'm sorry. Sir? You're not allowed through there. Please remain in the relaxation grotto.

Frasier

Please remain... in the relaxation grotto?

Frasier

Have crueler words ever been spoken?

Frasier

Niles! Healing warmth and light! It must be a magnificent solarium!

Niles

Goodbye sweet and edible facials, hello radiant life-giving sun!

Niles

It's beautiful, it's beautiful!

Frasier

Yes! This is where we belong!

Frasier

Would we sleep together?

Lilith

I was thinking we could freeze your sperm.

Frasier

Is that a "yes" or "no"?

Frasier

As usual, Frasier has to save the day.

Martin

As usual, Martin has to hear about it.

There's no 'i' in team.

Frasier

Like there is in Niles!

Frasier

Is there anything else we need?

Niles

Hmm, let me see. Oh yes, I know: we need to know how to ride them!

Frasier

If a child of four can ride one, then so can we.

Niles

That's what we said when we were six!

Frasier

Dad, the inability to maintain adult relationships often has its roots in parent-child trauma.

Martin

What's your generation gonna do when we're all gone and there's no one left to blame?

Frasier

Very challenging case. The man has father issues, any number of neuroses and a phobia or two.

Niles

Sounds to me like you’ve hit the crackpot!

Frasier

What was the name of the boat...?

Niles

HMS Bounty!

Frasier

This isn’t Trivial Pursuit. Let me finish!

Martin

Hey Fras', how was your trip to the accountant?

Frasier

Fine, er, fine... why are all these lights on?

Frasier

I almost feel sorry for her. Just another helpless woman suffering from an unslakeable thirst…

[unison] …for Crane.

Frasier

I've never seen this place so crowded. What's the occasion?

Daphne

It's Mum's day off. Apparently, there was a mass e-mail.

Frasier

He asked me to take him, but then I suggested that, when it comes to guns, perhaps he would prefer someone of...(pause for effect) Niles's calibre. (chuckles to himself) I'm in rare form today.

Daphne

(smiles, unamused) You should see this place when they know you're not coming.