TV show quotes
Miss Frances, I've remembered you since one of you here was a little girl awhile ago. And as I tried to watch you grow, I've been absolutely amazed by your lack of maturity, your laziness, and your lack of judgment.
Good grief, this again?!
[continues talking] And all of that time, I was wrong. If Miss Frances thinks allowing the imaginary friend into the house is an excellent idea, I trust her clearly. [smiles as Mac and the others react in shock] I SAID MOVE IT!
[getting brown pain on his right shoulder while painting the sign with Wilt] Try to watch it, will you? You're getting paint all over me! Explain to me again, why are we trying to paint the house?
Because of the new Fair Chore Act decree by Mr. Herriman, remember? The whole house voted and unanimously agreed that Frankie needed some help. We tried to sign it.
Oh, yeah! That was dumb of us.
[During the end credits, Madame Foster enters the foyer, returning home from her vacation]
Hello! I'm back from my favorite vacation! [opens her eyes and looks around, seeing the entire house completely empty] Hello? Where's everyone?
Hey, leave that alone!
[Frankie's goons are using Bloo Superdude's armor]
You! Put that down! It's not under warranty anymore! [Frankie stirs the potion] Why can't you just let make presence known "The Great Creator of Everything?" He'll be expecting me. Pretty please? With sugar on top?
Sugar on top? Okay! [Frankie drips the sugar on the poison]
What is that?
[Wilt dares Bloo to unplug the TV in the rec room, but as he pulls out the TV's plug from the outlet, indistinct complaining from Fluffer Nutter, Sunset Junction, and Boomer are heard, and they arise in front of the TV, glaring mad at him]
What the heck?! We've been playing that game for nine hours!
Uh… [runs down the halls as they chase him] Wilt dared me to do it! WILT DARED ME TO DO IT! [hides behind Wilt's tall legs]
Oh, he did, did he? Well, Wilt, I dare you to.... eat Jackie's sandwich!
[Boomer faints]
[Jackie Khones enters the foyer, eating his sandwich, revealing that Wilt didn't dare to eat it]
What! You didn't eat it?!
Eat what?
Your sandwich. We dared Wilt to eat your sandwich, and he didn't do it!
You what?! No, no, no, no. That's not a dare. That's a death wish.
Told you.
You want a dare? I'll give you a dare. I dare one of y'all to steal Madame Foster's gold-plated dentures.
[catches Mac trying steal her gold-plated dentures] THIEF! You better drop that grill, bucko!
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! Today's not Sunday, but friends from all over the house have joined together for the first-ever Foster's Dare Cup Tournament! They will endure intense physical trials, face life-changing humiliation…and maybe eat a worm. All for the chance of winning the title "Ultimate Dare Master!" Let the dares begin! Round 1 – Bloopy Pants VS. Preparation Ape. Dare!
Punch a friend in the butt.
[Bloopy Pants sneaks up behind Frankie while she's washing dishes, punches her in the buttocks and dashes away]
Hey!
Dare!
Lay out by the pool without (wearing) sunblock.
[Preparation Ape is laying outside by the pool on a beach chair, in pain; gives in by squirting loads of sunblock on himself]
Winner: Bloppy Pants. Round 2 – Bloo VS. Rodney Squiddlebeak. Dare!
Handlebar mustache draw!
[Bloo successfully draws a handlebar mustache on his face with a marker]
Dare!
Braid Creaky Pete's beard!
[Rodney tries to braid Creaky Pete's beard, but fails when a swarm of bats fly out]
Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
Winner: Bloo. Round 3 – Mac VS. Yogi Boo Boo. Players, to the ready. Dare!
Mac, I dare you to… [thinking] Eh, to…
Make him eat something!
Give him a mohawk.
Make him admit he loves someone.
Make it Frankie. Mac loves Frankie. He’ll never be able to do that one.
[shocked] Bloo!
He's had a crush on her like forever.
Nuh-uh! I do not! Everyone loves me like a dear little brother more than Mac.
I dare you to kiss Sam Burger!
Because of my vegetarian beliefs, I regret that I must say, no.
The refuser is the loser!
Bloo, I dare you to… throw all of your paddle balls into the fireplace!
[Bloo is holding auditions for some imaginary friends to take Eduardo's place after he got adopted by a little girl named Esmeralda from last week's Adopt-a-Thought Saturday]
I'm a little confused about the script. There's like, 10 pages of crying and then some random Spanish phrases that make no sense. And who are Darby and Explorin' Lauren?
I like the fur, although we'd have to dye it purple. But you'll have to lose the scarf and mittens and put on about 200 pounds.
What?! [offended] Say, what sort of production is this, anyway?
There's no production, my friend, just the role of a lifetime! Our little troupe has recently lost a member, and one lucky applicant will get to take his place.
Wait, because Eduardo got adopted, you're holding auditions for a new Ed? [rips apart the script pages and storms out of the room in annoyance, slamming the door]
I'm sorry, Bloo. I know you miss Ed. We all do. But replacing him with someone else won't stop the pain you're feeling. [Coco squawks in agreement] Besides, it's kind of nice to have a bed to sleep in.
[Bloo enters the foyer, meeting Mac and Frankie reading a load of letters from all the adopted imaginary friends]
[satisfied] Best Adopt-a-Thought Saturday ever, if I do say so myself. Listen to this. [reads some letters] "I couldn't be happier." And this! [reads another] "I love my new family." [and another] "I have found paradise on Earth. Thank you, Foster's."
Here's one from eight-armed Evan. [reading] "I'm writing to seven of my little boy's pen pals while I write this note to you. I have never felt more fulfilled."
Here's one from… Cheese? [reading] "Dear Voice man, please send me the thing you showed me on the TV. Here is my $8.95." [pennies fall out; annoyed] "In pennies."
Here's a postcard from Sam Burger. [reading] "Dear Foster's, things are great. My new friend…"
[voiceover] …Ronald is great! And boy, is he generous. Ronald has paid for both of us to go on a world cruise.
Here's a short note from Bloppy Pants! [reading] "I have never been surrounded by so much love." [touched] Aww, isn't that sweet?
[Bloppy Pants has been adopted by a stereotypical Italian family at his new home while having dinner]
[places his elbow on Bloppy Pants' head] Hey, bro, pass the sauce.
[uncomfortably] Well, I'm not sure that I can reach--
[grabs him by the cheeks] My sweet baby boy! Have another helping of brisket. You want to grow up big and strong like your brothers, don't you?
[blushing] Well, I… [a piece of brisket lands on his plate; whimpers uncomfortably as he sinks]
[Back at Foster's; Mac, Bloo, and Frankie approach a heartbroken Fluffer Nutter sitting on the stairway]
Hey, Fluffer Nutter. What's going on with Jackie?
Is everything okay?
He's fine! [crumples up the letter] He's very, very happy! [throws the crumpled-up letter at Mac, hitting him in the forehead, and runs off, bawling]
[picks up and unfolds the crumpled letter; reading] "Yo, Foster's. Hope there ain't no hard feelings for dropping y'all a line sooner…"
[Fade to Jackie's new home]
[voiceover] …but I didn't want to rub your poor, pitiful noses in my good luck. But what can I say? My new crib has got it going on. It's loaded with tons of pricey toys. Got my new old lady eating out of the palm of my hand. And speaking of eating, how's about a 24-hour all-access pass to the family fridge? Boo-yah! I ain't met the kid that I'm supposed to hang with yet, but Tabby comes home from the hospital later today. I'll have her in my pocket by dinner time.
[Back at Foster's…]
[finishing up reading] "Which reminds me, it's time for my mid-morning sandwich. Peace out, Jackie K."
[Fluffer Nutter wails off-screen]
[as Frankie answers the door] Telegram for Foster from Mr. Soppy Plants.
Oh, do you mean Bloppy Pants?
Look, lady, they pay me to deliver 'em, okay? Reading 'em right, that's your business. Now, are you Foster or what?
[takes the telegram] Yeah, I'm Foster. [closes the door, then looks at the telegram] This is strange.
What's it say?
[reading] "Family life didn't suit me. Have landed in a quiet college town and decided to go back to school."
Two telegrams for Foster from Mr. Gloppy Sands.
[snatches them out of his hand] That's Bloppy Pants, you, you… FAKE MAILMAN! [angrily closes the door on him]
[baffled] Two telegrams? That's kind of strange.
Here, live it up. [gives them to Wilt]
[reading the first telegram] "Have dropped out of school, will seek my fortune elsewhere."
[Cut to Bloppy Pants in a rat race, struggling for wealth; back to Foster's]
[enters the house with Mac, carrying a handful of more letters] Bloo, what did you do to the telegram guy?
[Telegram Man bawls and wails off-screen]
The mail!
[sets the letters down on the floor] Yep, 34 new letters.
[carrying a C.O.D. package from Jackie Khones] Plus this package from Jackie.
And two telegrams from Bloppy Pants. Here's the latest. [reads the second telegram] "Have left the rat race behind, pursuing alternative career opportunities."
[Cut to a rodeo; Bloppy Pants is running around on the field, dressed up as a clown, while being chased by a bull]
Oh, no! Sam Burger's cruise ship is sinking!
[gasps] What do we do?! Call the coast guard?! The navy?! And what about Jackie?! What are we gonna do?
Oh, Ed, there's no such thing as real unicorns! They're hunting you!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
