Joe Bulo quotes from Fargo

Joe Bulo

Management says acquire the territory, we acquire it. Whether that's cash down or sending bodies to the morgue, that's up to the Krauts. First Gerhardt to switch sides gets a shiny, red apple.

Floyd Gerhardt

Maybe, when you look at me, you see an old woman, and I am 61. I've borne six children, had three miscarriages. Two of my sons are here today. Two were stillborn. My firstborn, Elron, killed in Korea - gook sniper took off half his head. The point is don't assume, just because I'm an old woman, that my back is weak and my stomach's not strong. I make this counter because a deal is always better than war. But no mistake - we'll fight to keep what's ours to the last man.

Joe Bulo

You're a good woman. I wish I'd known your husband.

Floyd Gerhardt

No. My husband would've killed you where you stood the first time you met. So be glad you're talking to his wife.

Joe Bulo

And that's what I'm glad for. And if it were up to me, I would take your counter. Partner up. Except...I gotta admit, I-I just wonder, if we make this deal--split the territory, we move in, can you guarantee your boys will abide?

Floyd Gerhardt

My sons listen to their mother.

Joe Bulo

Good! Okay. Except...[gestures to his bodyguards standing behind him] here are two of my men, assaulted just this morning in the appropriation of doughnuts, by your oldest. Attacked in peacetime, during the period of deliberation, without provocation.

Dodd Gerhardt

Oh, I was provoked.

Floyd Gerhardt

[shushes Dodd] My sons will abide.

Joe Bulo

Ah, see-see, that-that's the problem with a family business. Now, if one of my men defies me, puts a deal in jeopardy, I take his arm. If he talks out of turn, I take his tongue. But you, your children, your grandchildren...what are you willing to do to show us you're committed?

Floyd Gerhardt

I'll deal with my son. This partnership will--

Dodd Gerhardt

[interrupting, rising from his chair] Come on, you gonna let this guy come here and disrespect us, disrespect Pop?

Floyd Gerhardt

Be quiet!

Dodd Gerhardt

Buncha fruits in ties, and your pocket protectors!

Floyd Gerhardt

[turning to Bear Gerhardt] Take him out!

Dodd Gerhardt

I'll pick my teeth with you!

Floyd Gerhardt

Take him out!

Dodd Gerhardt

My frickin' teeth with you!

Dodd Gerhardt

[offscreen] My teeth! Get off me!

Floyd Gerhardt

...I apologize.

Joe Bulo

He's a proud man. His father built an empire, and he just wants what's his.

Floyd Gerhardt

He'll fall into line.

Joe Bulo

[shaking his head] No. I don't think he will.

Josto Fadda

You don't have to do this. Hasn't there been enough killing?

Joe Bulo

Wait, that a serious question?

Josto Fadda

Listen to me. This is it, what they make us do. We're paisan. Come on. We change our names, we eat each other, we forget. For what? Don't you get it, Joe? This is a ladder, but there's nowhere to go.

Joe Bulo

Nah. Any last requests?

Oraetta Mayflower

Yeah, can you shoot him first so I can watch?

Josto Fadda

What?