Emmit Stussy quotes from Fargo

You borrowed $1,000,000 from a man without knowing his first name.

I know how it -

It's not a question. I'm just assessing the level of stupidity.

In the favelas of Brazil, there are six-year-olds with Glocks. They roam in packs, stealing whatever they can find. Mexican lowlifes stream into this country like wolves, eyeing our women and children. In the Congo, a family of six live on ten cents a day. You turn on the TV, what do you see? Boat people. Mass migration. You're living in the age of the refugee, my friend.

Look, if you won't take back your money, well, I can't make ya!

You see it, don't you? Millions of people bought houses they couldn't afford, and now they're living on the streets. Eighty-five percent of the world's wealth is controlled by one percent of the population. What do you think is going to happen when those people wake up and realize you've got all their money?

Hey, I just charge for parkin'!

You think they're going to ask questions when they come with their pitchforks and their torches? You live in a mansion. You drive a $90,000 car.

It's a lease, through the company!

Look at me. Look at me. This a $200 suit. I'm wearing a second-hand tie. I fly coach. Not because I can't afford first - because I'm smart. So look at you, and look at me, and tell me who's the richer?

Well, I-I feel like this a trick question.

There's an accounting coming, Mr. Stussy. And you know I'm right. Mongol hordes descending, and what are you doing to insulate yourself and your family? You think you're rich? You've no idea what rich means. Rich is a fleet of private planes filled with decoys to mask your scent. It's a bunker in Wyoming and another in Gstaad. So that's action item one: the accumulation of wealth. And I mean wealth, not money.

What's action item number two?

To use that wealth to become invisible.

Sy Feltz

You're talking about doubling the size of the company in six months!

Three months.

Sy Feltz

It's a lot of debt! Just to line our pockets? Shouldn't we... I'm just sayin'... the more cautious approach. Why not?

Because the shallow end of the pool is where the turds float. Emmit?

No one ever got anywhere stayin' home, Sy.

Sy Feltz

And what does that mean?

It means we're either doin' this, or we're not doin' this. Whether you step off the board with one foot or two, you still end up in the water.

Sy Feltz

Okay. But what about the IRS? You said yourself, he's sittin' in a conference room, right now, goin' over the books!

Some books. Not the books.

Sy Feltz

What the heck does that mean?

Let's just say, for testimonial purposes, it's better that you don't know.

Sy Feltz

You think the IRS won't - this is what they do! Tax cheats!

Middle managers and movie stars. People who park their money in a Denver Wells Fargo under their mother-in-law's maiden name. But I assure you, the IRS could not unravel an intricate web of shell companies and loan-outs with secret accounts in Monaco, Luxembourg, and the Cook Islands if you gave them the account numbers.

Sy Feltz

What?

I'm beginning to think that finance is more of a hobby with you.

You win. I'm done. Whatever you want, just tell me. [Ray gapes at him in shock.] I co-signed the mortgage, you think I don't have a key?

Came for my money.

The dalmatian at the bank. You poured her in the trash, the dog. I got her for Grace when she was seven.

Laverne.

She didn't live that long. Car got her, but we'd grown attached.

I was looking for my stamp.

You know, I was thinking about it on the way over. I can't think of a single person doesn't like me, except you.

That's what they say to your face.

No, Ray! I'm a fair man! I treat people honestly, help 'em when they're down!

Them you help!

When did I not help you, kid? Everything you asked! Co-signing the mortgage, repairs for the car!

I'm not less than you. Some child that needs–

Ray, come on. We've done this already. Been doing it for twenty years. Enough. [Pause. Emmit stands up, picking up a picture frame by his feet. He walks over to Ray and shows it to him, revealing the stamp inside. Ray takes it and looks at it.] It's finished, okay? Words said in anger, crimes committed, we've both done things. It's a certain madness, I think. Brotherhood. Buttons you push in me, that I push in you, grudges...but I don't want that anymore. So...I'm giving you the stamp.

[pause] Well, you're not giving it to me.

No, I am.

You can't give me what was mine from the start!

[sighs] Okay.

No, that's...take it. [He holds out the frame.]

It's yours.

I said take it!

I don't want it.

Take the damn stamp! [He pushes the frame into Emmit's chest.]

[shoves him back] Stop!

Take it! [He shoves him again.]

Stop!

Don't. Don't! [Ray pulls it out, he groans as blood sprays from his neck.] Jesus!

Emmit. E–emmit.

Ray...

Mr. Stussy. Do you know what Lenin said about Beethoven's Piano Sonata Number 23? Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov, not the bloody walrus. He said, "I know nothing that is greater than the Appassionata, but I cannot listen too often. It affects one's nerves, and makes one want to say kind, stupid things, and stroke the heads of those who, living in such a foul hell, can create such beauty. Better to beat the person unmercifully over the head." Where are you, Mr. Stussy?

There's been an accident.

Things of consequence rarely happen by accident.

Can you come?

Give me the address and I'll leave immediately.

I'm at Ray's.

Did anyone see you?

I'm so rarely seen, maybe I don't even exist.

What's he doing here?

You called for help. This is what help looks like.

I wanted to find his pulse, but I was afraid.

Afraid you'd leave fingerprints? Where else might we find your fingerprints?

Uh, I came in that door.

So the knob, inside and out.

And, uh, that frame, the glass.

Bury the body, missing person?

[walks over and picks up a picture frame] No. Collect the frame and the stamp, and leave the glass. [to Emmit] Is there someplace you're supposed to be right now? [taps Emmit's forehead] Is there someplace you're supposed to be right now?

What time is it? [Varga shows Emmit his watch] A meeting, a dinner.

Which is it, a meeting or a dinner?

Uh, dinner.

With whom?

Sy.

Which restaurant?

Uh, it's in my phone.

Never mind, never mind. Listen, this is important. If the restaurant has a back door, go to the bathroom and wash your face and hands in very cold water, then go the table. That way, if any witnesses see you, they won't be able to time your arrival. Do you understand?

Yeah, but–

Emmit! Look at me. Are you listening?

Yeah.

Your brother...was killed, by his ex-convict girlfriend. He'd been abusing her, you see? Beating her in places that don't show. And tonight she'd had enough, so she cut his throat. And watched him bleed. Now, the police will contact you tonight to inform you of his death. Be upset, not too upset. Volunteer nothing, you haven't seen him for days, you haven't spoken to him–

I called him on his cell.

When?

Yesterday.

Right. Well, there'll be a record of that. Did you speak for long?

Just a few minutes.

All right. Well, it's just a quick call, just to catch up, innit? Be vague.

I didn't mean to.

No one ever does. [to Meemo] Walk him to his car, out in the back. Make sure you're not seen.

Sy tells me you’re in self-storage.

Me and my late husband. We started in mortuaries.

Ah, just another kind of storage, I suppose.

Sy said your husband died.

Sy Feltz

That's not—we don't need to...

It's fine. My Walt. It'll be a year in May since he passed. Did you lose someone?

Stella. 25 years. She left last week. Sex tape. Not a real one, of course—I mean, it was a real sex tape, but not my, y'know... forgery. To the end of securing a payout. Which, y'know, that's the price of it, I guess, being rich.

I don't know...

Enemies, I'm sayin'. Not at first. First come the well-wishers with their fake smiles. Then, the richer you get, here come the deadbeats with their hands out.

Sy Feltz

You know, it's getting pretty late...

The jackals laughing in the dark, trying to pick the meat off your bones.

Sy Feltz

Check, please!

Money is a blessing and a curse.

No, don't blame money! It's people. Sore losers. Making up stories about how we're villains. The dreamers, the hard workers. In the office before dawn. Toiling, saving... Ebenezer Scrooge and the like. Have you heard of the vile maxim?

No...

"All for ourselves and nothing for other people is the vile maxim of the masters of mankind." You think a rich man wrote that?

Emmit. Emmit, are you listening?

Yes.

You won.

I won? What did I win?

Life.

I want you to picture an island, a tropical island. Somewhere warm. The South Pacific, perhaps. Can you see it? Now, I want you to imagine that on this island, one day in September 1945, a load of paper fell from the sky. Leaflets dropped in their hundreds by the Allied forces to tell the Japanese soldiers stationed there that the war was over. The Emperor has surrendered. But down below, one man refused to believe. Lieutenant Hiroo Onoda. A man of honor, values. And as the rest of the world went about its business - 1946, '47, '50, '64, '71 - as peace was made and a Cold War fought, Hiroo Onoda battled on. A tireless soldier of the Emperor's Imperial Army, and the last man to die for an ideal.

[tearfully, about Ray] He was just a boy. He used to follow me around after school - "Emmit, play with me. Emmit, watch this."

Is the Bible a children's book? What we're doing here, the sober affairs of men. These are feats of great strength and cunning and fortitude. Not child's play, not "the best you can do". Nobody remembers the second man to climb Mt. Everest. That's it. Sleep now. Everything will be clearer in the morning.

He played tennis.

Gloria Burgle

Ray?

Our dad. At his club, rain or shine, every Saturday. He had that thing all dads have after 30 years of wearing socks, where the hair gets worn away, so he's basically bald from the shins down. [chuckles] I was on the drive, you know, throwing a ball against the house, a tennis ball. Wasn't supposed to, but he was gone, so... And Ray's someplace, kitchen probably, he was always eating, that kid. Real chubby. And then, Dad's home. He had this old Mercedes diesel, you could hear it on the come. So I hide the ball and he pulls in. Not out of the car ten seconds, when down he goes, flat on his face. One minute, he's waving hello, the next, just drops like - like the lights go out. [pause] I killed him.

Gloria Burgle

Your dad?

Ray. First I tricked him, then I killed him. Like no days had passed. Like one thing goes and then another. Like you whack a tennis ball back and forth.

Well, you should be happy, Mr. Stussy. Your first action item is complete: the accumulation of wealth.

I'm just so tired.

Perfectly natural. You see it all the time in the wild - the smaller animal going limp in the jaws of the larger. Genetic instinct. At some level, food knows it's food.

Nikki Swango

Are you as low as you can go?

What?

Nikki Swango

I asked you if you still feel you've got room to fall, or whether this is bottom.

Honestly? If you'd asked me yesterday, I'd have said I couldn't go lower - sitting in jail, staring at a life behind bars or the electric chair. But now, here we are today, lower still.

Nikki Swango

Oh, I've been watching. This Varga fella plucked you like a chicken. But he's gone now, so I'm gonna finish the job.