Mike Milligan quotes from Fargo

Mike Milligan

She was a true gloom, my mother. We used to eat in the dark. For a laugh, I wrote on her tombstone, "Here lies Barbara Milligan, happy till the end." Me, on the other hand, I'm an optimist.

Hank Larsson

I'm gonna radio ahead and make sure you make it out of State. If not, I'm gonna put out an APB and have you boys rounded up. And then we'll talk again. You understand?

Mike Milligan

I do. And isn't that a minor miracle? The state of the world today and the level of conflict and misunderstanding, that two men could stand on a lonely road in winter and talk calmly and rationally while all around them, people are losing their mind. You have a nice day.

Lou Solverson

Say, you wouldn't by any chance be Mike Milligan and the Kitchen brothers, would ya?

Mike Milligan

You make us sound like a prog-rock band. "Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Mike Milligan and the Kitchen brothers." [A Kitchen brother grabs a shotgun] Double whoops.

Lou Solverson

Easy.

Mike Milligan

Minnesota cop. You do know you're in North Dakota, right?

Lou Solverson

Must've got lost on the way to the lake.

Mike Milligan

So, where'd you say you saw old Skip?

Lou Solverson

At your mother's house. I think going in the backdoor.

Mike Milligan

I like him. I like you. Met another fella from Minnesota yesterday. Big guy, sheriff, I think. I liked him, too.

Lou Solverson

We're a very friendly people.

Mike Milligan

No, that's not it. Pretty unfriendly, actually. But it's the way you're unfriendly, how you're so polite about it. Like you're doing me a favor.

Simone Gerhardt

You know what depresses me? I missed the '60s-- free love, drop acid, Woodstock. Wake up one day, decide you want to call yourself Flower Rainblossom, you just call yourself Flower Rainblossom.

Mike Milligan

Yeah, but the '70s were always coming, like a-- What do you... A hangover. And you know what happened to Flower Rainblossom? She's on methadone in Bismark, turning tricks for breakfast meat.

Simone Gerhardt

I know. But at least I would've had fun, be free like how you get to dream before you wake up.

Mike Milligan

There's a man.

What - what man?

Mike Milligan

Just a man. He works in a factory. One day, the boss gets it in his mind that this man is stealing from him. So, every night at the gate, the guards search his wheelbarrow. But they never find anything.

Pat him down.

Mike Milligan

Oh, they do that. Strip him naked - nothin'.

So he's not stealin'.

Mike Milligan

Of course he is.

Lou Solverson

Wheelbarrows.

Mike Milligan

Thank you. That's right. He's stealing wheelbarrows.

What?

Mike Milligan

My point is sometimes the answer is so obvious you can't see it because you're looking too hard. See, we can't leave because we're the future, and they're the past. The past can no more become the future than the future can become the past.

Braverman stood for you, said, "He's not like the other darkies. This one's smart, capable." But that is not what I'm seeing.

Mike Milligan

And I appreciate the opportunity... sir, believin', as I do, like the good Dr. King said, "A man should be judged on the content of his character, not the color of his skin."

Yeah, he's dead. You're gonna need a different quote.

Mike Milligan

So... is this a conversation about how it's time for me to pack up and go home?

Lou Solverson

No. Don't have to go home. It's a big country. Just maybe don't be here.

Mike Milligan

Are you familiar with the phrase "manifest destiny"?

Lou Solverson

Yeah, but see, here's the thing. I own two pairs of shoes - a summer pair and one for winter. We're not meant to have more than we can handle, is what I mean. So, this need for conquest, you know, tryin' to own things that aren't meant to be owned...

Mike Milligan

Like people?

Lou Solverson

That's an example. But also places - believin' we can tame things. That's a problem, right?... Not a solution.

Mike Milligan

You're saying capitalism is a problem?

Lou Solverson

No... Greed... Makin' this thing all or nothin'.

Mike Milligan

Hello?

Ed Blumquist

Mike Milligan?

Mike Milligan

Yes.

Ed Blumquist

Today's your lucky day, Mike. I've got Dodd Gerhardt in the trunk of my car. You want him?

Mike Milligan

Sir, if I kiss you when we meet, would that be inappropriate?

Ed Blumquist

What? I don't--um--

Mike Milligan

Nothin'. Just...well, it's been a day. But the fact is, I do. I do want him. The question is, what do you want?

Ed Blumquist

Well, I got the whole Gerhardt family after me, and I need you to make 'em stop.

Mike Milligan

Well, then I think you and I can make a deal.

Ed Blumquist

Yeah, and no funny business, either, ya hear? Because, I've killed people before, and I'm not afraid to do it again. Maybe you heard of me - the Butcher of Luverne.

Mike Milligan

I have heard of you. And may I say: brother, I like your style.

Mike Milligan

Sovereignty is absolute power and authority.

Like a king?

Mike Milligan

Exactly. Which is who I am - your king.

Uh, it's America, brother. We don't do kings.

Mike Milligan

Oh, we do. We do. We just call them something else. See, today is my coronation day. And on coronation day, I've always believed a new king should start his reign with an act of kindness.

Right on.

Mike Milligan

And an act of cruelty. That way, your subjects know that you're capable of both - God and monster.