Josto Fadda quotes from Fargo

Josto Fadda

You know why America loves a crime story? Because America is a crime story. But here's the rub. When we hear a crime story, who do we root for? Not the poor sap that got taken, the victim. No. We root for the taker. The guy with the gat. [Josto imitates shooting a machine gun at the Cannon enforcers] See, this country loves a man who takes what he wants. Unless...unless that man looks like you. Capisce? See, Johnny Society looks at me, they see a fella who's using crime to get ahead. But you? All they see is crime. And that's why you're gonna lose. 'Cause I can take all the money and pussy I want and still run for president. But you? It's always gonna be the rope. Tell him it's time to surrender.

Josto Fadda

You got a funny way of talking.

Oraetta Mayflower

Yep. I'm from Minnesota, land of 10,000 lakes.

Josto Fadda

No, I mean you use big words.

Oraetta Mayflower

Well, I've found in my 36 years on God's green Earth that it's absolutely critical to be precise in your use of language so as to avoid instances of misreckoning.

Am I getting fucked here?

Josto Fadda

Slow your roll.

'Cause the only reason I'm letting my daughter marry some guinea greaser is that I got ambitions: political, financial...

Josto Fadda

And here I am, hopelessly in love.

Go fuck a state park! You ain't getting a piece of the Gillis legacy until I got assurances you can deliver votes. Mayors don't elect themselves and elections aren't free.

Josto Fadda

Dad? Can I call you dad? My pop didn't claw his way out of the plebian dynasty so that his sons could end up in middle management. You want to be mayor? I want my kids to be president. So I'll get you your votes and your, uh, bustarella. But first I'm gonna slow-pump some babies into your daughter one at a time and twice on Sundays. Now get a drink. And try the calzone! They're a riot.

Oraetta Mayflower

Goodness. Your mind's a clutter of grievances. Here I am talking about waterfalls and you're making a list of nemeses.

Josto Fadda

Friends or enemies. That's the world, hm?

Oraetta Mayflower

Oraetta Mayflower's enemy to no man.

Josto Fadda

You're a dame. Where I come from, we sleep with one eye open and a razor in our teeth. You got any more of that fluffy whiz bang? Get my head on straight?

Oraetta Mayflower

And here I thought you liked me for my vocabulary.

Josto Fadda

Well, it's not your vocabulary that just took a ride in my lap.

Oraetta Mayflower

Hey! Rude! We fly elevated in this house, mister! Proper ladies and gentlemen, which is a lesson you should take to heart in your other lives. And you sleep with a mouthful of razors, it's your own throat that gets cut, believe you me.

Ebal Violante

First, we recognize things have gotten out of hand. Our two families. We recognize this and, uh, we apologize.

Loy Cannon

You apologize?

Ebal Violante

Doctor Senator-

Loy Cannon

Don't...say his name.

Ebal Violante

He was a friend of mine. His death should not have happened, but Gaetano Fadda is the son of Donatello Fadda, chosen by New York. His death is not allowed.

Loy Cannon

Not allowed?

Ebal Violante

I'm simply telling you how it is. There are people you can kill, people you can't.

Josto Fadda

Eh, well... [Ebal looks at Josto] No, I'm just saying he's more animal than people.

Ebal Violante

Hey... [in Italian] He's your bother.

Josto Fadda

Cain was Abel's brother. [in Italian] How'd that turn out?

I'm a U.S. alderman! You can't punch a U.S. alderman!

Josto Fadda

Well, apparently, you can.

Oraetta Mayflower

They made me tell them.

Josto Fadda

I'm not talking to you.

Oraetta Mayflower

You don't have to be mean. I've had, and I don't mind saying, as hard a 24 hours as ever been had on God's green earth.

Josto Fadda

What do you think's happening right now? You killed us.

Oraetta Mayflower

I told the truth.

Josto Fadda

Now you tell the truth? Now?! How about when I said help with my dad, why didn't you tell me you were a demented hag?

Josto Fadda

You don't have to do this. Hasn't there been enough killing?

Joe Bulo

Wait, that a serious question?

Josto Fadda

Listen to me. This is it, what they make us do. We're paisan. Come on. We change our names, we eat each other, we forget. For what? Don't you get it, Joe? This is a ladder, but there's nowhere to go.

Joe Bulo

Nah. Any last requests?

Oraetta Mayflower

Yeah, can you shoot him first so I can watch?

Josto Fadda

What?