Oraetta Mayflower quotes from Fargo

Oraetta Mayflower

Dr. Harvard, I can assure you Oraetta Mayflower is a Christian citizen of the highest character. I'm unsure even of the spelling of the word "crime".

Oraetta Mayflower

What does it feel like to be so sure you're right and know that nobody cares? Hmm? I'll see you in your dreams.

Oraetta Mayflower

Oh, oh, apologies.

Ethelrida Pearl Smutny

What?

Oraetta Mayflower

Oh, I was simply excusing myself. I’m not normally this out of sorts.

Ethelrida Pearl Smutny

It’s a funeral. People cry at funerals.

Oraetta Mayflower

Ah, amen. Those are wise words for a person of your complexion. But then I’ve noticed your people are often more in touch with your spiritual side and emotional side.

Ethelrida Pearl Smutny

My people?

Oraetta Mayflower

The Negro. It’s a Baptist fervor, I’d wager, what causes them to hoot and tumble to the floor, aflush with the Holy Spirit.

Miss Mayflower, I see you’ve met my daughter, Ethelrida.

Oraetta Mayflower

Your daughter?

The one and only. Ethelrida, this is Miss Mayflower. She’s a nurse at St. Bartholomew.

Oraetta Mayflower

Oh yeah. Huh! Yes, now I see it. This child is certainly the product of miscegentation.

Uh, if by that you mean she’s the spitting image of her father, then I take that as a compliment.

Oraetta Mayflower

Your mother must be quite dark-skinned. As I’ve noticed in my study of the human animal, that in the combination of races, it is de rigueur for the more extreme coloration to prevail.

Josto Fadda

You got a funny way of talking.

Oraetta Mayflower

Yep. I'm from Minnesota, land of 10,000 lakes.

Josto Fadda

No, I mean you use big words.

Oraetta Mayflower

Well, I've found in my 36 years on God's green Earth that it's absolutely critical to be precise in your use of language so as to avoid instances of misreckoning.

Oraetta Mayflower

Goodness. Your mind's a clutter of grievances. Here I am talking about waterfalls and you're making a list of nemeses.

Josto Fadda

Friends or enemies. That's the world, hm?

Oraetta Mayflower

Oraetta Mayflower's enemy to no man.

Josto Fadda

You're a dame. Where I come from, we sleep with one eye open and a razor in our teeth. You got any more of that fluffy whiz bang? Get my head on straight?

Oraetta Mayflower

And here I thought you liked me for my vocabulary.

Josto Fadda

Well, it's not your vocabulary that just took a ride in my lap.

Oraetta Mayflower

Hey! Rude! We fly elevated in this house, mister! Proper ladies and gentlemen, which is a lesson you should take to heart in your other lives. And you sleep with a mouthful of razors, it's your own throat that gets cut, believe you me.

Oraetta Mayflower

Excuse me! You take your hands off me! Police! Police!

Ma'am, we are the police.

Oraetta Mayflower

They made me tell them.

Josto Fadda

I'm not talking to you.

Oraetta Mayflower

You don't have to be mean. I've had, and I don't mind saying, as hard a 24 hours as ever been had on God's green earth.

Josto Fadda

What do you think's happening right now? You killed us.

Oraetta Mayflower

I told the truth.

Josto Fadda

Now you tell the truth? Now?! How about when I said help with my dad, why didn't you tell me you were a demented hag?

Josto Fadda

You don't have to do this. Hasn't there been enough killing?

Joe Bulo

Wait, that a serious question?

Josto Fadda

Listen to me. This is it, what they make us do. We're paisan. Come on. We change our names, we eat each other, we forget. For what? Don't you get it, Joe? This is a ladder, but there's nowhere to go.

Joe Bulo

Nah. Any last requests?

Oraetta Mayflower

Yeah, can you shoot him first so I can watch?

Josto Fadda

What?