Mr. Mufflin! I found the book! Mr. Mufflin?
Uhh, Fanboy? Is school always this empty during the day?
[gasp] Everybody's gone! Do you know what this means?
[Fanboy and Chum Chum sing No Work And All Play]
S2Schoolhouse Lock
S2Back From the Future
I don't have time to explain! I'm you, you me, me you, from the future! In one minute, two very annoying boys are gonna enter this store. Do not, under any circumstances, give them a Frosty Freezy Freeze!
L5Lenny, 5 years ago
Oh but I can't do that because-
Do it, and you'll become assistant manager!
L5Lenny, 5 years ago
I'll make sure no one gets a Frosty Freezy Freeze!
[after accidentally knocking out Lenny, 5 years ago, after arriving back in time again, as he and Lenny exit the fridge they arrived in] Oops, my bad.
Nah. I survived.
BFBaby Fanboy and Chum Chum
Excuse me, could you direct us to the library?
BBoog
Can I interest you in a bop instead!? [the boys hug each other in fear. Boog 'bops' up a small rack of tiny Frosty Freezy Freezes]
BFBaby Fanboy and Chum Chum
Ooh! What are those?
BBoog
An array of our tastiest beverages. Yours to sample and enjoy. No purchase necessary!
BCBaby Chum Chum
What do these letters on the cup say?
BFBaby Fanboy
Who cares? I love this drink and I don't Like letters! [they leave with a tiny Frosty Freezy Freeze each]
No! What are you doing!? I said to bop them! Bop them!
BBoog
Yeah! B.O.P. - Bring Out Products!
S2Tooth or Scare
Step 1: Sprinkle anti-fairy dust on the floor. Good. [sings] Fairy, be gone! Fairy, be gone! Fairy, be gone! Done. Step 2: Knock three times. Okay, that's easy. [knocks on the coffee table three times]
I'll get it!
No!
[Fanboy opens the door, the tooth fairy enters, outraged.]
Kyle, it's for you.
S2The Big Bopper
BBoog
I'm gonna bop you so- [Lemuel touches his fist, breaking his entire arm off] Kiji! I-I-I lost my arm and everything! [Lemuel raises his fist and Boog gets bopped, with the "BOP" title as a result]
Aye, boppee.
[at Chum Chum] See? I told you it was just a coma.
BBoog
[After a daze] What am I doing on the floor? I'm supposed to be bopping that guy! I'm gonna bop you so bad! [he charges and gets bopped, with the "BOP" title as a result]
Aye, boppee.
S2Present Not Accounted For
Why so perky this morning, Chum?
Ha ha ha! Like I would know that it's my... B to the I to the R-T-H, D to the A to the Y-Y-Y, WHY?!? CAUSE IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!
Well, birthday song. I haven't heard that since the last time it was your birthday...it's your birthday...horray.
You didn't forget, did you?
And now, for your birthday enjoyment...
Ooh! The entertainment's starting!
May I present, Kyle, the Conjurer. [crowd cheers]
Ooh, Kyle! I didn't know you did magic. Can you make a penny come outta my nose?
Since it's your birthday, I'll ignore that. And instead... [the lights go out as he begins his speech] perform MAGIC! So dark, it'll cause you mere mortals to weep before me and bow down in awe of my infinite power! [he disappears, then reappears as the lights come back and the crowd cheers] Thank you. Thank you.
Ooh. Now can you pour milk into a newspaper?
Eh-heh, for my next trick, I had something grander in mind. I would now like to...
Make someone disappear? Done! [he leaves to focus on the gift]
Huh? I was going to summon a dragon to paint your name in fire.
I want a balloon poodle.
[falls to the ground and sobs dramatically]
Fanboy, what's the matter?
[sobbing] Oh, Chum Chum, I forgot your birthday! I don't have a present! That confiscated briefcase was the only present I could find!
But I didn't expect two presents.
Two presents? What do you mean?
You already gave me the best present: You spent the whole day with me! [remembers everything they did via slideshow] We woke up in the morning together, we played pin-the-tail-on-your-butt together, you did an amazing magic trick for me...
[head moving in picture] I helped.
We met Man-Arctica together! We opened all my other presents together! Being together is the best present you could ever get me!
S2The Sword in the Throne
No! Stop! This stall is forbidden!
I don't know who this "Bidden" is, but right now, it's for Fanboy! [he and Chum Chum enter the bathroom]
No! Wait! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! [the door closes]
S2Slime Day
[Mr. Mufflin walks on a white background]
[to the kids] Hey, kids! It's me, Hank Mufflin. And today is… Slime Day! [the kids cheer as confetti rains down, and he chuckles] Now, the rules for Slime Day are easy to follow. Just say the phrase, and you get slimed! [chuckles again] Uh, uh, does anyone know the secret phrase? I… I… Because I didn't… [a live-action African-American hand gives him a green card] Oh, thanks, Meagan. [winks, then looks at the card] The secret phrase for Slime Day is… [reads the card along with the kids] I DON'T KNOW! [gets slimed as he laughs] That's a good one. Now, remember, you can't tell anyone the secret phrase. Everyone has to figure it out for themselves. I love Slime Day! [unzips the white background, revealing the class]
[notices some slime on the floor] Huh? Look, Chum Chum, slime! [looks at it through a magnifying glass] Come on, secret phrase. Show yourself. [The slime shapes itself to read "I DON'T KNOW"] Oh! Even the slime doesn't know!
What if we zoom in and enhance? [pulls out a bigger magnifying glass to zoom closer on the slime, revealing the Nickelodeon logo on the letter O in "KNOW"]
"Copyright Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni-Ni-Nickelodeon". That's it! If we can't get the slime to come to us, then we'll go to the place where the slime was born. [he and Chum Chum put on star-shaped sunglasses]
BBoth
Hollywood, California! [a background of Hollywood lowers behind them, then collapses]
But, Fanboy, how are we gonna get there? [removes his sunglasses]
[removes his sunglasses] Good question, Chum Chum. I don't… [brief pause as slime dangles above him until…] We'll take the plane.
[A fedora lands on Fanboy's head as the plane flies off. A map shows the duo flying to Hollywood with a trail of red lines behind them. The plane flies around wildly as they arrive at Hollywood while screaming. In live-action, Fanboy and Chum Chum, still in animation, crashland in Nickelodeon Studios. The security guard, Don Newhouse, faces them]
DNDon Newhouse
Beautiful Slime Day. I.D.?
[stands up as he dusts himself] It's nice to meet you, D. I, Fanboy.
[pops out of Fanboy's head] And I, Chum Chum.
DNDon Newhouse
[as the boys enter the building] Watch your head.
[Inside, the boys approach a door labeled "President"]
Nickelodeon President. [cracks his knuckles] I know how to get his attention.
[In his office, the Nickelodeon President, a man with a big mustache, talks on a yellow telephone]
PPresident
[laughing; on the phone] I love it! I love it! [as the camera zooms in on his face] But you can't do that on television!
[kicks the door open] Say hello to my friend. [shows Chum Chum, who is small, to the President] Chum Chum.
Hi.
I'm Fanboy.
S2Boog Zapper
[At beginning of episode]
Plastic knife?
Plastic knife.
Bendy straw.
Bendy straw.
Suction.
Suction! Hold on, I have to suck.
S2Kids in the Hall
[The Hall Monitors catch everyone running amok]
EVERYBODY, SLOW DOWN!!! [everyone stops] NOW, GIRLS TO THE LEFT-- AND BOYS TO THE RIGHT! AND KEEP THAT SKATEBOARD OUTTA SIGHT! Hey, that rhymed.
S2Frosty Mart Dream Vacation
I stuffed the ballot box myself! This isn't even an entry form. It's a spelling test…that you failed!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Fanboy & Chum Chum pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.