Mr. Fong, can I ask you a question?
All talk and no work makes Chris unemployed.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
People found the idea of getting food delivered in Bed-Stuy unbelievable.
Delivery in Bed-Stuy. Unbelievable!
My brain froze.
Well, you better thaw it out!
Delivering in Bed-Stuy was an adventure.
You just can't quit every time you don't like something. What if Miles Davis quit the trumpet?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. What if George Washington Carver quit the peanut? What if B.B. King quit Lucille? What if Paul Robeson quit "Ol' Man River?" What if Bill Cosby quit Jell-O? What if Mr. T quit "pityin' the fool?" What if Stevie quit Wonderin'? What if Fat Albert quit the Cosby Kids? What if Ashford quit Simpson? What if Michael Jackson quit doin' the moonwalk? What if Diana Ross quit the Supremes?
Diana Ross did quit the Supremes.
You get my point.
Later, my mother's tsunami came crashin' down in waves. [Rochelle falls over] Hair today, gone tomorrow.
The tsunami turned into Hurricane Rochelle.
Julius is never gonna sleep with me again and everybody's gonna think I'm...
My mom's career as a hair model was over faster than Pacman Jones' career as a citizen.
OK, Smartypants, do I say "hi?" Do I say "hello?" Or maybe "hey?" Or even "hey, hi?" The possibilities are endless! We haven't even gotten to what I'll be wearing.
I know what you'll be wearing: a look of frozen terror.
FCFemale Chef
[speaking Chinese] You look like Lionel Richie.
About as much as you look like Yoko Ono.
No matter what I did, it seemed like I was supposed to be doin' somethin' else.
CCChinese Chef
[speaking Chinese] You're sweeping my foot, fool!
When I washed the floors...
Lionel Richie, set the tables!
When I set the tables...
Lionel! Organize the fortune cookies!
When I organized the fortune cookies...
5:30! Lionel Richie, go wash the dishes!
He wouldn't talk to the real Lionel Richie like that.
He who sleeps at work wakes up with a foot in the ass.
Lionel Richie, you're back just in time for another delivery.
I'm not goin' back out there. This neighborhood is too dangerous for deliveries. You're basically sendin' me out there with a sign sayin', "Hey, I got money. Please rob me." Plus, I almost got shot.
My nephew has been shot by the Chinese army seven times.
FSMr. Fong's Nephew
[speaking Chinese] In the face!
He should stop attackin' China.
If you listen closely, you'll learn how to say the "N" word in Chinese.
I've been having a hard time with my Mandy situation. This girl could be my future ex-wife, and I don't wanna mess it up.
Greg still isn't over his parents' divorce.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Everybody Hates Chris pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.