Zane Donovan quotes from Eureka

Deputy Andy

(Releasing Zane from the jail cell) Sorry for the inconvenience, Mr. Donovan. The evidence was overwhelming.

Zane

Well, you can relax 'cause I'm not gonna sue you.

Jo

Well, glad to see the experience hasn't hardened you. Thanks for your help.

Jo

Zane, let it go. Grant's been cleared and so have you.

Zane

I'm not talking about Grant. You had my grandmother's engagement ring, Jo. C'mon, tell me what we were to each other.

Jo

Nothing. I gotta go. (turns to leave)

Zane

Then why didn't that feel like a first kiss?

Zane

What happened to Mr. Optimistic?

Fargo

He woke up and smelled the oxygen leak!

Zane

You can't smell oxygen.

Fargo

You know what I mean!

Zane

Looking good Loop-o. I meant the house. (seeing Jo's new house for the first time) A little small though. Didn't know you were building a TARDIS house.

Jo

A what?

Zane

Big on the inside, tiny on the... oh, never mind.

Zane

There's nothing wrong with me.

Carter

You set Jo's house on fire to get her attention.

Zane

Okay, I see your point.

(As Zane comes down the stairs) Good Morning Zane.

Zane

Good Morning SARAH.

I'm detecting a difference in your electrolytes since you arrived last night. Would you like a sports drink?

Zane

Nah, I'm good. [he sees Allison and Carter] Sup?

Sup.

Zane

The P.A.L.s scan and analyze potential security and safety risks. Then they play the outcomes in live action, giving you a variable time frame for them to become reality.

Fargo

Yeah, it's like having your own Professor Xavier.

Carter

Who's Professor Xavier?

Zane

Okay, I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that.

Jo

(Speaking to the Astreaus candidates) I said toes on the line you worthless bunch of P.H.ds! You are group Alpha. I will be attempting to train you for the physical fitness requirements of the Astraeus Project. This is my lab. You wanna go into space - (to Zane) on purpose - you gotta go through me first. Who can tell me what a push up is? [...] Why don't you all show me what a push up is? Say 50 times? Down on the ground! (to a secientist) You're a botanist right? Kiss my grass! (to Henry) Looking good Dr. Deacon.

Henry

Thank you Jo. Oh, I... uh, Ms. Lupo.

Jo

Come on Alphas! Group Bravo says you are the sorriest collection of community college rejects they've ever seen. You wanna prove them right?!? (bending down to the level of another scientist) What kind of mathematician can't get to 50?

Zane

49, 50. Anything else Ms. Lupo?

Jo

Well I say 50 more. Cupcake.

Jo

Toes on the line! Group Bravo, Group Alpha says that you are the sorriest collection of community college rejects -- (sees Zane) Zane, whatcha doin'?

Zane

Hammer curls Ms. Lupo.

Jo

Are you trying to mess with me?

Zane

No ma'am. I'm here for candidate training.

Jo

You're in group Alpha.

Zane

I'm in all the groups. I like a challenge.

Jo

You can't do that. Put on your uniform. He can't do that. (to Holly) Can he - can he do that?

Holly

Looks like he can. Impressive display of musculature and stamina.

Jo

Yeah, if you like that sort of thing.

Holly

Too bad about his criminal record. (Sees Jo's look) I mean sure, the whole bad boy thing has a certain appeal, but those felonies make him no fly.

Jo

So he's...

Holly

Totally ineligible for the mission

Fargo

What the frak happened?

Zane

Carter stole my girlfriend.

Fargo

Really?

Carter

No, well yea... ZANE, bigger issues!

Zane

How do you know about secret passage ways around GD anyway? You and Carter been playing security guard and sexy cat burglar?

Allison

My lips are sealed.

Zane

Oh, thank you!

Zane

The DoD says to take your balls and go home Major.

[Holding official orders] So it says.

Zane

Why don't you bring in a some of her favorite things. Ah, some music, photos your dorky little D&D game.

Fargo

That is not dorky.

Zane

Really? Yeah, it is, actually.

Jo

Zane, I need you.

Zane

Right here in the hall? You naughty minx you. Okay, not laughing, let's start that again. What do you need me for darling?

Zane

I knew Jo was off, but not that off!

Allison

I can't believe this is happening.

Fargo

Tell me about it. My resurrected girlfriend is the Manchurian Candidate.

You know Donovan, I've always maintained that under proper supervision you are not completely incompetent.

Zane

Well damn Parrish, that's probably the nicest thing you said to... probably anyone actually.