[To a very pregnant Elizabeth] Are you sure you can still reach the table?
At least I can see the table...
S7 E17Survival of the Fittest
I knew a boy who was a little husky, and he didn't have very many friends and all the kids used to make fun of him. So he spent most of his time studying. And he went on to college, and he became a surgeon. And at his high school reunion, he took out a scalpel, and he cut the tongue off of every kid who ever made fun of him.
SStuart
That's supposed to cheer me up, doc?
MMichele
Are you really a doctor?
When I'm not out fighting crime.
Did somebody order a school bus?
The board is full, gurneys are lining in the halls. We've got another 30 in the rack. We desperately need to clear out the rooms and you're wasting your time on April fools' pranks. No more shenanigans for the rest of the day. Have I made myself clear?
Uh, yes. Yes, ma'am.
Uh huh.
Dave!
[Abby slaps Malucci]
[after being awoken by Abby, dazed] Yeah.
How much did you give him?
Ten milligrams.
Okay, I want you to take a nap.
I'm fine.
What did I just say?
Go take a nap.
Before that.
Uh, no more fooling around.
That's right. Now get back to work.
[as Dr. Weaver walks, she notices cans clinking]
Malucci!
It wasn't me, I swear.
S7 E18April Showers
[on the phone] I don't care if it's raining fire and brimstone, you are going to get me to that church if I have to ride on your back like a bloody donkey. [hangs up angrily]
Perhaps you should eat something.
I do not need to eat. Nor do I need a spot of tea, or a moment of quiet reflection on this, my special day. This is America, and sometimes in this country you have to kick some ass!
We'll take your car and get there early.
Fine. Fine, okay. But unless you can drive stickshift on the right side of the road, I'm driving.
Elizabeth, you can't possibly drive in your condition.
Get your purse, grab the flowers, and let's go.
[phone rings]
Now listen here, you ignorant bastard!
What's wrong?
Oh... Mark... nothing.
What could be more perfect than marrying the man that you love while carrying his hild?
Yes, well this love child also comes with an extra forty pounds and hemorrhoids!
Why don't you sit down and have some tea?
What, so that I can pee every two minutes instead of every ten?
[Trying to get on an overloaded bus] Can you let me on?
PPassenger
Wait for the next one pal!
I gotta get to my wedding.
PPassenger
That's original.
It's true, why else would I be carrying this tux? They towed my car, and the EL is down.
PPassenger
Make room! Make room! Dead man walking.
He'll be here, Elizabeth. Don't fret.
But I do fret! Every time he's late, I fret! Every time he slurs a word, or gets tired, or bumps his head, I fret! I'm about to get married, and I'm afraid. Not of being with him, but of being without him! I'm afraid he won't be around to raise this child!
S7 E19Sailing Away
Don't be a hero, get the epidural!
[after picking up a cloth] Here. [throws it at the fraternity brother] Clean him up.
UPUpsilon Psi Lambda Frat Brother
What?
You and your friends. You wrote this on him, right?
UPUpsilon Psi Lambda Frat Brother
Yeah, but-but it was just a joke.
I hope you got a good laugh out of it.
UPUpsilon Psi Lambda Frat Brother
I didn't know this was going to happen.
You're his big brother. You're supposed to look out for him.
UPUpsilon Psi Lambda Frat Brother
Well, he drank volun...
[Cutting him off] Shh, shh, shh. Just shut up, alright? Now get over there and you clean him up.
S7 E20Fear Of Commitment
There are two things in the world that I'm sure of: my love for my son and my abilities as a surgeon. I'm a father, and a doctor. By the end of the day, that's enough for me.
[to Cleo] You're not the first to be deceived by my rugged good looks and boyish charm.
[to Abby] I promised myself I wouldn't make any promises.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's E.R. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.