Mark Greene quotes from E.R.

Mark

Carol, I got that autopsy report on the crack baby. He died in utero two days ago.

Carol

Well, I guess we're both off the hook.

Mark

Carol, it wasn't a matter of me believing your or not believing you. I would have been on your side.

Carol

Well, maybe if you'd been on the patient's side earlier none of this would have happened.

Mark

What?

Carol

I checked her chart. That woman had been in here four times in the past seven months. You saw her twice and never once did a pregnancy test.

Mark

Was there reason to?

Carol

Evidently, yes.

Mark

So we're supposed to give pregnancy tests to every female crackhead who comes through the door?

Carol

That's not what I'm saying.

Mark

Then what?

Carol

God forbid this woman ever finds out what her real malpractice suit is. I would back you up. Say there was no reason for a pregnancy test. The fact is, we should have done something.

Mark

What? What should we have done? We can't help people who can't help themselves.

Carol

No, Mark, those are exactly the people we should be helping.

Doug

You've been in a bad mood for months and I don't know how to talk to you anymore.

Mark

Then don't. [walks away]

Doug

All right.

Carol

What's the statute of limitations on post-traumatic stress?

Doug

Cut him some slack.

Carol

I think we've all cut him plenty. He needs some help.

Doug

He doesn't need a shrink. He needs friends who support him.

Carol

He's not going to have any friends, supportive or otherwise, if he keeps this up.

Carol

How many patients do you think we see in the hospital every year?

Mark

Would that be real patients, or turkeys?

Carol

Forget I asked.

Mark

Your count will be about 95 percent higher if you count all the wackos.

Mark

It's not my job to be their best friend.

Carol

No. Just their caregiver.

Doug

He never drove less than 70 miles per hour his entire life. He would think it was funny to drive with his knees, his eyes closed, like it was some sort of game. Idiot. He can't even kill himself right. He has to take other people with him. Leave me to clean up the mess.

Mark

I don't think your dad planned on dying down here, Doug.

Doug

He never planned on doing anything his entire life. He didn't plan to lose our TV in a poker game. He never planned to be gone for more than a couple days. He never planned to hurt anybody in his whole life.

Mark

Your dad lost your television in a poker game?

Doug

I should have killed him myself. Saved everybody the trouble.

Doug

[on the phone, leaving message] Hey, Carol, it's Doug. I was hoping to catch you before you went to work. I'm here in Barstow and we're cleaning up. I was just thinking about you, wishing you were here. I just miss you. I just wish you were here, is all. [Mark walks into the motel room] So, I'll call you tomorrow. Okay, bye. Hey!

Mark

Who was that?

Doug

Somebody I've been seeing the last couple of months.

Mark

Couple of months? That sounds serious.

Doug

Do you want any of these ties before I give them to Goodwill?

Mark

I only wear ties to work. Is it anybody I know?

Doug

I've got a suit here. I've got an Armani. I believe it's double-breasted.

Mark

You don't want to tell me who it is?

Doug

He had a set of clubs somewhere, I think.

Mark

Why is it that you don't want to tell me who it is?

Doug

Because I don't.

Mark

It's not my ex-wife, is it?

Doug

No, it's not Jennifer.

Mark

Cynthia?! You're not, are you?

Doug

No, and neither should you.

Mark

Jeanie? Chuny? Anna?

Doug

Are you planning on naming everybody who works at the hospital?

Mark

She doesn't work at the hospital?

Doug

It's Carol.

Mark

What?

Doug

Carol Hathaway. You're mouth's open.

Mark

I'm speechless.

Doug

Well, I'm relieved.

Mark

You didn't miss much not having your dad around when you were growing up. Believe me.

Doug

That's kind of a crappy thing to say, isn't it?

Mark

It wasn't my idea to come down here.

Doug

Don't stay.

Mark

Don't worry, I won't.

Doug

I'm confused. Your father's still alive, right? He's still with your mother?

Mark

Oh, so that's your criteria for a good father? Longevity?

Doug

Did he smack you around a lot? Used to smack your mom around?

Mark

Oh, poor Doug.

Doug

Wait. Poor Doug? Your father, did he come into your room in the middle of the night and throw up on your bed and pass out? Did he do that? Did he leave you in a hallway in Atlantic City while he screwed some hat check girl, Mark? Did he do that? Did he do that, Mark?! Your father was there for you every night, you and your mother, and that's love. And whether it's the way you want it or not! It's love, Mark. You grew up in Ozzie and Harriet-land. Get your head out of your ass!

Mark

What are you thinking about, Doug?

Doug

Carol... I'm in love with her. I mean, I used to think I knew what love was. I cared about a lot of women, I just don't think I've ever really been in love. I think about her all the time. I don't like it when I'm not with her, I don't want to be with anyone else. That's love, isn't it?

Mark

Yeah... That's love.

Mark

Do you want to say anything?

Carol

A prayer?

Doug

No. I hated the son of a bitch. And I loved him. It's never simple, is it?

Carol

Cynthia, did you give this man permission to bring in all these people?

Cynthia

Well, the clinic's open. I figured that it would be okay.

Carol

Are you a complete idiot? Can't you see we're swamped already?

Cynthia

I'm really sorry, I...

Mark

[Stepping in] What's going on?

Carol

Oh, she invited the entire Hazelton shelter for free physicals.

Mark

Carol, can I talk to you. [Leading Carol to the front desk] So there was miscommunication. If you have a problem with Cynthia or any other employee in the future, have the courtesy to speak to them privately. Don't dress them down in front of the entire ER.

Carol

Anything else?

Mark

No.

Mark

I've been kind of a jerk.

Carol

Worse.

Mark

Pain in the ass?

Carol

Keep going.

Mark

Total schmuck.

Carol

Bingo.

Anna

[after Carter's been arrested] What are we doing about Carter?

Mark

I called a bail bondsman and they're going to release him in the morning.

Anna

Wait, so he has to stay in jail all night?

Mark

You want to call the family?

Anna

And say what, "John Carter III's in jail"?

Mark

What happened to your student? I thought she was gonna stick around.

Carter

She went up to watch Benton operate. I think she got bored.

Mark

We're not here to entertain, Carter.

Carter

You know, she seemed so interested. I was supposed to inspire those students, but I don't think I did a very good job.

Mark

Inspire them? How?

Carter

Through our passion. For what we do.

Mark

Passion?

Carter

Yeah, you know what I mean.

Mark

Carter, you come here every day. Sometimes you're really cooking, and sometimes you're not. But you're here every day doing your work. And one day you'll look up and maybe 10 years will have passed. It'll be the sum total of what you've done that counts. Not the passion.

Mark

I'm like a magnet for needy people. They find me wherever I go.

Cynthia

Like I did?

Jerry

Ah, look at that. Twinkies.

Mark

You're not gonna eat that?

Jerry

Why not? They have a shelf life of 7 years. [he checks the label] 1993, I'm in the zone!