Mark Greene quotes from E.R.

Randi

How'd your personality test go?

Mark

I scored somewhere between serial killer and talk show host.

Luka

I thought they were memory tests.

Mark

That was Monday.

Carter

What's next? Rorschach? Spelling bee?

Mark

Swimwear competition, sudden-death Twister. Who knows? Maybe a chili cook-off.

Elizabeth

[on the phone] I don't care if it's raining fire and brimstone, you are going to get me to that church if I have to ride on your back like a bloody donkey. [hangs up angrily]

Isabelle Corday

Perhaps you should eat something.

Elizabeth

I do not need to eat. Nor do I need a spot of tea, or a moment of quiet reflection on this, my special day. This is America, and sometimes in this country you have to kick some ass!

Isabelle Corday

We'll take your car and get there early.

Elizabeth

Fine. Fine, okay. But unless you can drive stickshift on the right side of the road, I'm driving.

Isabelle Corday

Elizabeth, you can't possibly drive in your condition.

Elizabeth

Get your purse, grab the flowers, and let's go.

Elizabeth

Now listen here, you ignorant bastard!

Mark

What's wrong?

Elizabeth

Oh... Mark... nothing.

Mark

[Trying to get on an overloaded bus] Can you let me on?

Wait for the next one pal!

Mark

I gotta get to my wedding.

That's original.

Mark

It's true, why else would I be carrying this tux? They towed my car, and the EL is down.

Make room! Make room! Dead man walking.

Romano

Did you page her?

Mark

What?

Romano

Did you page her?

Mark

No.

Romano

[to someone on the phone] I need you to page Dr. Corday. [it's unclear what the person on the phone said, but it annoys Romano] I DON'T-- I KNOW THAT. Page her!

Mark

[He was]...eaten by dogs.

Elizabeth

Eaten by dogs? In Chicago?

Greene

It happens, a lot! A cop told me.

Mark

[When Mark and Elizabeth are changing Ella's diaper] You take care of it. I've got a shift in three hours.

Elizabeth

What do you think I'll be doing in three hours? I'm the feeding trough, remember?

Mark

Elizabeth, if I could breast-feed, I would.

Elizabeth

Oh, great. Great! You take it! Take it all! The sore nipples, the rashes, the hemorrhoids, the leaking in your trauma gown, the public humiliation, the sleep deprivation, the incontinence, for goodness' sake. You take it! It's all yours!

Mark

[after Weaver fires Malucci] You can't get rid of him just because the two of you don't get along. Hell, if that were the case, you'd have to fire all of us.

Kerry

You know what? I'm not gonna justify my point of view to you!

Mark

I know growing up can be tough. You can call me anytime.

Yeah, until Mom takes away my phone privileges again.

Mark

It'll be okay.

No, it won't.

Mark

Rachel, what do you want me to do?

You could let me stay here.

Mark

You can't.

Why not?

Mark

Your mom would miss you.

Right.

Mark

You'd miss your friends.

They're only a phone call away. I'll make new ones.

Mark

What about school?

They have schools in Chicago. I just want to spend more time with you and Ella. I've got a baby sister who doesn't even know me, and Elizabeth is totally smart and cool. I mean, she's a great role model.

Mark

Are you serious about this?

Yes.

Mark

It's a big move.

I miss you, Dad.

Mark

I'll talk to your mother.

Mark

[about the scar from his brain surgery] Thought it was cooler than a tattoo.

Susan

You could have at least called me, you know.

Mark

And say what? "Hey, how's it going? By the way, I have a brain tumor."

Kerry

[about Chen] Look, I'm gonna miss her too. This saddens me too. It's easy for you to be upset and angry when you don't have to manage the situation, but guess what? I'm angry and upset, okay? I mean, I think it sucks only I don't have anyone to complain to.

Mark

You're asking me to feel sorry for you now?

Kerry

No. I just wanted you to know what was going on.

Mark

First day of school and you're already making new friends?

Susan

Oh, yeah. I'm a shoo-in for homecoming queen.

Greene

So far, so good.

Lewis

Oh, yeah. Foul abscess, a neurotic granny, naked boy here and I had to break into Chen's locker.

Greene

Did you steal her stuff?

You ever gotten an Erythropoietic porphyria?

Mark

No.

What about porphyria cutanea tarda?

Mark

Nope.

What's the most unusual medical case you've ever seen?

Mark

I had a guy with a live bullfrog in his ass once.

Abby

[exiting the roof elevator, walking toward the medevac helicopter in the pouring rain] Oh, my God! I distinctly heard him!

Mark

Who?

Abby

The weatherman this morning. He said, "partly cloudy, chance of rain."

Mark

Well, he warned you.

Mark

Do you think I'm mean to patients?

Abby

Only the ones who deserve it.

Mark

What about the ones who don't?

Abby

You're nicer than I am.

Mark

That's not much solace.

Abby

Sorry.

Mark

I want to tell you something, but you can't tell any other kids, okay?

Okay.

Mark

Okay. Parents don't always know what they're doing. Just because they're adults doesn't mean they know what's right. In fact, some adults are wrong most of the time.

I know that.

Mark

Good. Then I want you to promise me something.

What?

Mark

Don't listen to them. Don't believe that you're not just as good as your brother. Just as smart, just as special... One day, they may realize that. But you can tell them it doesn't matter, because you already knew. You knew before they did.