Something happened to me, in that ICU. And I realized- I don't wanna die. And more than that, I don't want my little girl to watch me die. I can't do that to you, not ever. That's what I wanted to tell you today. I'm gonna handle my life- and I want you to get on with yours.
AbbyOkay. '['turns away, Maggie follows her]
You can't put your life on hold anymore!
Abby
It's not on hold-
What do you mean? You won't even go play softball with your boyfriend!
Abby
So? I don't wanna play.
[exasperated] Stop sitting things out, Abby!
Abby
I don't!
Yes, you do! You can't use me as the reason for not doing the things you want to do in life- go to medical school!
Abby
Well, that's not so easy-
Abby
I was married!
Abby
[angrily] I was pregnant! [silence, as Maggie stares at her in shock]
Abby
What happened? [sits down] I had an abortion. [pause] Some people aren't meant to be mothers. [Maggie sits next to her and leans close]
Abby. I was a lot younger than you are now, when I had my first manic episode. I've watched you since you were a little girl- you're not bipolar.
Abby
[holding back tears] No- but my kids could be.
But they might not be! They could be anything, and you would just love them, that's all! [pause] You never even told Richard, did you?
Abby
No. I- I think that was the beginning of the end for us. We just stopped talking about everything. [pause] I just- was too scared- I couldn't- I couldn't risk it. I just- I didn't want to-
Abby
Yeah.
Or have to end up taking care of another me? [Abby nods, starts crying quietly] Oh, honey- oh, sweetie- sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. [Maggie hugs her tightly, Abby sobs into her shoulder] That's all there is, is risk. You just have to take a chance, and leap into life! Otherwise, sweetheart, you're gonna miss out on all the great things. Abby- you deserve all the great things. Do you hear me?
[Abby and Carter are at Carter's grandfather's funeral, and she notices that the birdbath is broken]
Abby
You're going to have some dirty birds.
Grandpa liked to drive the power lawn mower around.
Abby
Into the birdbath?
Not on purpose. He was having a fatal MI at the time.
Abby
[laughs] I'm sorry.
Gotta die somehow. Not a bad way to go. Sunny day, out on the mower. [they both start to laugh] Don't, don't laugh.
Abby
Then stop it!
[After flirting with a waitress] I was trying to have fun. Is that a crime?
Abby
No. Go have fun. If I can be left waiting in the street, I can certainly walk home by myself.
Why do you have to make such a big problem out of everything. Like you have an insect in your anus?
Abby
Hey, it's "bug up my ass", Luka. 'Bug up my ass." If you're gonna insult me, you can at least get the words right.
Fine. How's this? Stop being such a bitch.
Abby
OK, fine. As soon as you grow up.
Right, you're so mature. Abby, you don't even know what you want!
Abby
Yes, I do. I wanna go home.
You play games like a schoolgirl who can have any boy and treats them all like crap!
Abby
You know, why don't you just call me a whore and get it over with!
I'm tired of it! You're not that pretty and you're not that special!
Abby
I'm pretty enough in the dark though, aren't I?
You're never happy! I don't think you're capable of being happy.
Abby
Happy? Six months ago, you didn't care about whether or not I was happy.
If you're not depressed or ashamed, you're just angry.
Abby
And you're married to a ghost!
At least I treat you with respect.
Abby
Oh, I know. You're a saint, Luka.
Abby
Right. I know. You're always so good and I'm always so bad...
I'm sick of being patient.
Abby
And I'm such a mess and you're so understanding.
I've put up with a lot, Abby.
Abby
Ah! And I'm a burden.
Carter, your mother, your moods...
Abby
Why don't you just break up with me?
Abby
If I'm such a horrible person, how could you possibly want to be with me?
I don't know how to be with you! I don't know how to help you!
Abby
I don't want help! I don't want help. I don't want to be pitied. I don't want to be saved.
Abby
Okay. What does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean?
I'm done! I'm done, okay? Carter can have you!
Abby
Okay.
[walks away from Luka]
I need a psych consult, my patient thinks he's a vampire.
Abby
'Count Fred'? Where is he?
Abby
Is there a nurse in there with him?
Abby
He's a vampire.
What do you mean he's a vampire?
Abby
I mean he drinks people's blood.
[they look into the exam room and find Fred drinking blood from an IV pack]
Abby
This is not the way to get Luka.
NNicole
What are you talking about?
Abby
The truth. What happened to your father?
NNicole
I told you. He killed himself when I was little.
Abby
And then miraculously came back to life again so he could kick you out when you were 16?
NNicole
Is this funny to you?
Abby
No. I'm just trying to figure it out. You haven't told anyone the same story twice.
NNicole
My mother remarried and my stepfather didn't want me around.
Abby
OK, I guess you have an answer for everything.
NNicole
I guess everything's your business.
Abby
I just don't wanna see him hurt.
NNicole
Maybe you just don't want to see him happy.
Abby
I know what won't make him happy. A made-up life. You know, if this is, if this is all for real, that's great. Go for it. But if it's not, he's gonna figure it out. He's not stupid.
Abby
I haven't seen you around lately.
I've been working nights.
Abby
How's your Christmas?
Quiet. What'd you do for New Year's?
Abby
I worked.
Abby
Did you make any resolutions?
Abby
Help out more where? Here?
Uh, no. Europe. I've volunteered to go to Bosnia for two months with [w:Médecins Sans Frontières|Doctors Without Borders]].
Abby
Bosnia?
Yeah. I speak the language.
Abby
What brought this on?
I don't know. Change of scenery?
Abby
So down-low is bisexual?
Abby
In the closet?
No, to be in the closet, you have to be gay.
Abby
He is gay.
Ah, C.C's gay. Diamond is on the down-low.
Abby
Well, if he's having anal sex with his friend, he's gay.
Not to him. He's got a girlfriend, he just sorta gets down with his buddy for relief.
Abby
Aha, so down-low means in denial?
E.R. · 1,278 quotes
