Sartana of the Dead quotes from El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera

ARE YOU ALL NUTS?! This is Sartana of the Dead, our most dangerous enemy! We have to stop this!

Maria

It is Grandpapi's decision. We must respect it, no matter how unsafe, demented, and revolting it is.

Grandpapi

Thank you.

Manny, I hope that one day you will call me, Grandmami.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…!!! [continues screaming as time goes by and stops] Whoa, how long have I been screaming?

Frida

Eh, a couple hours. We tried to stop you for while, but everyone got tired and went to bed.

Sartana's up to something. This is all a plan to destroy Grandpapi. We will drive a wedge between them and stop the wedding. This I swear!

Say hello to my little friends.

Sartana of the Dead? Attacking on the Day of the Dead?! Actually, that makes sense.

Your time is up, Riveras! Any last words?

Two. Breath… mint.

[gasps in shock when all the deceased Rivera men are back from the dead] All the Riveras back from the dead?! DESTROY THEM, MY BEAST!

The only way we can beat this thing is if we all work together.

The lad is right. Rivera heroes, we attack now!

Attack from front is coward's way. Villains, we sneak up behind.

I said... [shouting] ALL TOGETHER! Well, no one lives forever.

Tell me about it.

My successor will be…one of you! Tomorrow, I will hold a tournament beneath the Miracle City volcano. The winner will receive my mystic guitar! My skeleton bandito army. And a three-month subscription to "Villains Quarterly!"

Yes, yes, yes, magnifico! [laughs while hyperventilating] What? Is good magazine.

Get some rest, my comrades in evil. You will need it.

Anyone who is here can compete. [strums her mystic guitar, closing the entrances] Because no one leaves the volcano until the tournament is over. NO ONE!!!

El Mal Verde

You will hold us prisoner?

El Oso

I didn't pack a lunch.

No! I have to return these DVDs by 10:00 or I get charged for another day!

The competition begins NOW! The last one left (standing) in the circle will continue on in the tournament.

El Tigre wins! Uh, go figure. And to ensure that no one leaves, all losers will be shackled!

El Mal Verde

Nobody shackles Mal Verde!

[glares at him and blasts him with her mystic guitar and he gets shackled with the other losers] Anyone else got a comment?

El Oso

No.

Seems clear.

General Chapuza

We love you.

What's a comment?

Good. You will all be freed once we have a winner. Now, prepare for your events!

I warned you to stay out of my way… And you're like one foot off the ground.

Yes, well, you're still very mean.

[claps slowly] See? He has chosen power over family. I told you he was a true villain.

[confused] Django? What?

He is indeed worthy. El Tigre, join us. With you and Django by my side, we will rule the world!

Huh? You said you were retiring!

Yes, but I… FIBBED! [cackles wickedly]

A fib?!

El Oso

It can't be!

Never trust a villain.

Your plan worked perfectly, Django.

Your plan?

Yes. I devised this tournament as a way to get all of grandmother's evil competition in one place and DESTROY THEM!

Frida

That is one complicated evil plan.

He truly is an artist.

El Oso

I would applaud if he weren't destroying me.

Wait, so that's real lava?

[chuckles nervously as Sartana stands in front of him] Hey there. Sorry about Django, huh?

Don't worry. He's a fast healer. [strums her mystic guitar, resurrecting her grandson]

[emerging from the lava with lava hands; savagely] El Tigre, you will PAY!

Get ready for play catch, lava bone boy!

No, this is my fight.

But Manny...

Papi, Manny was right. He's not a child anymore. We must let him fight his own battles.

[after Manny moves out of the way and Django accidentally fires lava at her; annoyed] Just wait till your mother hears about this. [disintegrates into dust and so does her banditos]

[tauntingly to Django] Adios, sucker! [laughs, then stops, noticing that Django isn't disintegrating, or going anywhere] Uh, aren't you gonna, you know, disintegrate or something?

No! Remember, I have my own mystic guitar! [accidentally disintegrates it with his lava hands] Well, that was stupid.

How dare you steal from me, you little maggot!

Frida

He was stupid enough.