Ed Season 4 quotes

Eli

[scaring off a prospective Stuckeybowl buyer] I'd have asked you to bowl a few, but I'm not sure if any other lanes are working -- unless you wanna bowl on the one a guy just died on.

Molly

[toasting Carol at her going away party] Carol - kick some New York ass!

Ed

[as Ed`s story about Carol`s move to NYC kicks into gear] I'm gonna need s'more root beer.

Molly

[explaining the circumstances that led to her intimate encounter with Phil] My tale of woe begins one evening at Stuckeybowl.

Ed

[after Carol explains that it`s out-of-fashion in NYC] Trucker cap, I hardly knew ye.

Phil

[enticing Molly to participate in sliding down the hall of Stuckeyville H.S. in a puddle of soap suds] You wanna ride the serpent?

Mike

[bursting Ed`s bubble after learning of his grandiose proposal plans] Ed, you can't propose like that -- it's cheesy.

[about a turkey fryer] This fine piece of modern technology is going to allow us to prepare a Thanksgiving turkey the way the good Lord above intended.

Mike

[to Ed] Say, 'Carol, will you marry me?' How's that for a plan?

Shirley

[calculating how many turkeys are needed to feed 30 people] You need 12,000 turkeys.

Ed

[about talking to Carol's father] If you're gonna ask a man for his daughter's hand in marriage, the least you can do is put on a suit and tie and buy him a steak.

[responding to Ed's request for his blessing] I'll think about it, and I'll let you know.

Mike

[about Ed closing Stuckeybowl] At the end of an era, all the great ones from Laverne and Shirley to Mary Tyler Moore, they all do the slow turn, nod and hit the lights.

Shirley

[on why Ed's ex-wife is in town] I surmised that she needs a kidney.

Phil

She wants to break up your impending nuptials with one Miss Carol Vessey. It's cat fight time, meow.

Eli

[to Jennifer] You wanna know how a dude in a wheelchair gonna make you scream and holler like a damn werewolf.