BWBill Woslouis
[choosing the lead for the school play] Go with the pretty broad.
S1Pretty Girls and Waffles
[to Ceela, as she and Ed are discussing her case] Excuse me for interrupting, but I just have to say: you are soooo hot!
[To opposing counsel, after presenting love letter that Dick wrote to Ceela] I think you're looking at a 7-10 split.
[talking to her waffles] We have got some waffles, tasty tasty waffles. Hello, Mr. Waffle, Goodbye, Mr. Waffle. You are a waffle, yeah!
[to waitress, in response to a $10 bet] Burger me!
S1Better Days
Bullfights and machismo. If you gave Hemingway some bullfights, and a little machismo, he was a happy, happy man.
Shirley, those who raise the bar of expectation, bar the expectation of raise.
[to Ed] I brought coffee... I didn't know what size you wanted, so I got small, medium and large.
I always wanted to go on a stakeout. One of my favorite movies is Stakeout. Even better than that was the sequel, Another Stakeout. They really took it to the next level.
[to Phil] Stuckeybowl is a family place - a nice place. It's not a stripper kind of place.
S1Home Is Where the Ducks Are
[introducing the Festival of Ducks] Quack, quack. That's all I got... beer's over there!
[passing out fliers in the park] Hey, you like sex? Come to the Festival of Ducks!
[to Kevin, about his score of 6 when challenged to show his bowling prowess] I got 60% - if a presidential candidate got 60%, it would be a landslide. I got a mandate, Shazzam!
With all due respect, sir, this is a full-assed bowlathon.
Jaspertown can kiss my Stuckeyvillian ass!
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