Panchito Pistoles quotes from DuckTales (2017)

Huey

Breathe, just breathe.

Donald

I've done nothing with my life! I'm a failure!

Scrooge

Awww, that never bothered you before.

Huey

Uncle Donald, you're very successful! You raised three boys and a rich in love. Isn't that the true measure of success?

No!

Donald

Huey, you gotta help me!

Huey

Help you? Well, I have been looking to earn my improve theater merit badge… How about you play the part of someone successful?

Donald

Lie? Perfect!

Scrooge

Nonsense. You do what you want, but I will not help you lie to impress that band of braggartios.

Huey

If you blow up our cover, Jose will probably get mad and you'll have to pay for this trip yourself.

Scrooge

Donald, we have to lie to your friends, ya hear?!

Huey

Just keep it small and simple. Sorry, everyone. Uncle Donald had a, um, very important business call.

Donald

From McDuck Enterprises, my company. I'm a billionaire.

Panchito

The same Donald, who searched our couch cushions for corn chips, now owns McDuck Enterprises?

Huey

Yes… and, he's taking over the family business so Scrooge can retire.

Scrooge

Geh?

Donald

'Cause he's so old. Very, very old.

José

That's the fourth rich guy's bathroom we've been kicked out of.

Panchito

What are we doing wrong?

Donald

We just need someone to listen to us.

Louie

Oh. I'm listening. You wanna be famous?

Donald

Uh, sure.

Panchito

Absolutely!

José

More than anything!

Louie

And you're willing to do whatever I say at any cost whatsoever?

Louie

The fastest way to fame is Emma Glamour's IT List! [shows them the website on his laptop]

[amazed] Ooh!

Dewey

[popping out from under the middle bunk] I know everything about the IT List. Whatever Emma Glamour posts on her annual online list becomes instantly popular. How do you think I found my favorite band? And my signature hairstyle? If I'm following the trends right, I think next year's big thing is gonna be sick yo-yo tricks. [tries to perform one but his yo-yo wraps around his body and hits him] Ow. I'll get it by the time the IT List comes out.

Louie

Yeah? Sure, Dew.

José

We must get on this blog!

Donald

But how?!

Panchito

Why will no one tell us?!

Louie

Okay. Okay, just… Look, Glamour is a famous tastemaker who only emerges once a year to post her IT List at…

Dewey

[interrupting] An exclusive party at the Duckburg Museum. A night of famous people celebrating how great they are. These are my people. [gets into Louie's face] We're going?!

Louie

I get you into that party…

Panchito

We perform for Glamour…

José

We get on the IT list before it's posted online…

Donald

We'll be famous around the planet!

Dewey

Internet fame, the most important fame of all.

Donald

I don't know. How do we get in?

Dewey

Why is Falcon Graves working security here? He's gonna recognize me and know we're not invited to the party.

José

Maybe he'll won't remember you.

Dewey

The last time I saw him, I cost a millions of dollars and threw him off a building.

Donald

Ooh.

Panchito

Hey, that does make this harder. New plan. Dewey's not going to the party!

Dewey

Uh, what?! You need me in there. This is the Dewey-est party in town! Ohh! Why was I cursed to be so flashy and unforgettable?!