Louie Duck quotes from DuckTales (2017)

Louie

What is it? A cursed villain?

Dewey

A villainous curse?

Huey

A... um... Man, I hate going third.

Scrooge

Worse. It's my ex!

Goldie

Fine. We team up. With our two halves of the map, we can finally find the Golden Lagoon.

Scrooge

And why should I trust you?

Goldie

Because it's gold, because it's a treasure you never found, and because you're Scrooge McDuck.

You think you know me so well.

[entering the room] Date! Date! Date!

It's not a date!

Webby

Wait, where are Huey and Louie?

Dewey

Who?

Webby

Um, your brothers?

Dewey

Uh, Webby, I don't have brothers. I'm an only child.

Webby

Don't be ridicu- [gasp] Oh no! We must be in some sort of dystopian alternate dimension!

Dewey

Calm down, everything is fine.

Webby

Exactly what an evil Dewey-doppleganger would say! [tackles Dewey] Give it up, Dew-pelganger! Where is Dewey?!

Huey

Webby, stop! That is Dewy!

Louie

He's just doing a Dewey thing!

Webby

Oh. [lets go of Dewey]

Dewey

[to Huey and Louie] Thank you, good Samaritans. You restored my faith in the kindness of random strangers.

Huey

Not even one hour in, and your stupid "Only Child Day" has already almost gotten one of us killed.

Webby

Only-what-now?

Dewey

It's a beautiful holiday!

Huey

That he made up.

Dewey

Where for a whole day, we get to be sibling-free and do all the amazing things that an only child gets to do! Make our marks on the world!

Louie

Not have to answer to anyone!

Huey

Be horribly alone?

Dewey

For once!

Louie

Wow, it's like he gets whatever he wants!

No one says no to Master Doofus. [leans uncomfortably close to Louie] No one.

Louie

So, you're his butler, huh? Uh, my butler's a ghost. Yup. Yeah, he's dead.

We're dead inside.

Huey

Beagle Boys.

Louie

Psycho rich kid.

Dewey

Haywire robot.

[in unison] Brothers again? Brothers again! Triple threat!

Scrooge

[to the boys as they watch television] I'm off for a little trip. Uncle Donald's in the pantry if you need anything. If I don't come back, it's been a pleasure knowing you all.

[uninterested] Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. Sure.

Louie

Shhhhhh...

Huey

[on hiding Tenderfeet in their room] We gotta keep him a secret! Uncle Scrooge is on the hunt!

Louie

Which is why we should hand him over. The last thing I need is Scrooge snooping around and finding any number of my devious, yet delightful schemes.

Huey

You mean all those schemes we know about?

Dewey

Sure would be a shame if Uncle Donald found out about that "charity" he's been donating to for the past three years.

Louie

Hey, "Louie's Kids" takes Uncle Donald's donations for children in need. Children like me. Children exactly like me. It's for me.

Louie

How do you keep losing a giant monster?

Huey

Just because we like him better than you doesn't mean you have to hate him.

Louie

Wait, what? I am your brother! You met this thing like a day ago!

Dewey

Well, he never tricked me into doing his laundry. Yeah. I know about that.

Louie

Can't out-down a con, bro. Oh, Uncle Scrooooge!

So, you figured out the Bigfoot in your house is scamming you. Problem is, the Bigfoot in your house is scamming you. [cracks knuckles] And, yeah, bro. He lifts.

Huey

[sad] When we first met, there was a thorn in your paw, but now...

Dewey

[places hand over his heart] ... It's in here.

Louie

[leans in close; whispers] I win. [dramatically] Now go back from whence you came! This is for your own good. [repeatedly hitting him] Go on! Get out of here! Go! Go! Go! ["Tenderfeet" leaves] Bye, Tenderfeet, I love you, have fun living in the gross woods and not our awesome mansion anymore!

Huey

Your parents are alive?!

Louie

I can't believe you're still alive.

Fergus

He put a curse on us.

Scrooge

That is not fair! I very kindly rebuilt our ancestral castle for them. And I may have used some discount mystical Druid stones that accidentally granted them immortality. I didn't know it would buy me an eternity's worth of criticism!

Fergus

So, he admits he wants to be rid of us!

Scrooge

Uch! Would you rather I'd let you pass, or made you immortal?

Fergus

Neither is satisfactory. A thoughtful son would know that.

Dewey

[in a room full of golden keys] Oh man! How are we gonna find one gold key in all this? Well, good try everyone. You should head back. Way to go.

Louie

[popping up from the keys, examining one key] Found it. Real gold weighs more than Fool's gold, so you just search the bottom of the pile. You know, check the luster, and the karat quality, and boom. Pure gold key. [beat] What? You like nerd stuff, I like gold. Come on.

Huey

[as the Demon Dog claws at the door] We need a distraction! [grabs the bag from Dewey]

Dewey

Hey, give it back!

Huey

[emptying the bag's contents on the ground] Louie, hold the door open! I'll set the scarf on fire and throw it out as a decoy!

Dewey

[taking the scarf away] No! You can't!

Huey

What is wrong with you?!

Louie

Why are you being super weird?! This is a bad time to be weird!

Dewey

... Because it belongs to mom!

Huey

How do you know this is mom's?

Dewey

I've, uh, kinda been researching her on my own. A little. I mean, I just searched a forbidden library, crashed the Sunchaser, talked to the goddess Selene- okay, you know, hearing it out loud, it comes off way worse than it sounded in my brain.

Huey

How could you keep this from us?!

Dewey

I was trying to protect you from a potentially devastating revelation.

Huey

Or you just kept it to yourself so you can feel special! Classic Dewey! She's our mom!

Dewey

Okay, it's just- First, I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to get hurt. Then I couldn't tell you because I found out all this stuff and I didn't want you to hurt me! I'm sorry, okay?

Huey

You're only sorry, 'cause you got caught!

Dewey

Louie, you okay?

Louie

You kept a secret about mom. That is not okay.